My Hypochondria | Fetch My Flying Monkeys

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— Laura

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For the price of a really, really nice cup of coffee per day, and perhaps a fancy French pastry, and about thirty to forty more dollars, you can help rid the world of a horrible disease. Or get me upgraded to First Class on my trip to California.

By Laura On September 20, 2011 · 65 Comments

Sarah G, a long time reader, emailed me a link the other day about September 28th being World Rabies Day because she knows I suffer from thumb rabies. This got me to thinking about how little is known about thumb rabies and how it’s like the redheaded stepchild of the foaming at [...]

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Maybe I should put up a “No Solicting” sign. Nah, that’d ruin all the fun.

By Laura On September 12, 2011 · 85 Comments

It’s Sunday night and I’m just killing time before True Blood starts. It’s the season finale and I like to see things through, especially when they involve good-looking Viking male vampire nekkidness. I finished off my imported beers this weekend along with my liver and just a little while ago I think I felt my pancreas explode. [...]

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The City of Columbia Water Company is trying to kill me.

By Laura On September 9, 2011 · 90 Comments

I opened my water bill yesterday and this piece of paper fell out:

Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm and/or leg, particlarly on one side- CHECK.
Trouble getting words out or being understood, confusion- CHECK.
Blurred vision- CHECK.
Trouble with coordination, balance, or walking- [...]

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The Great Dinosaur Wars continues in between the drunken stupors and diabetic comas.

By Laura On August 23, 2011 · 92 Comments

The dinosaurs declared war on the Cherokee Nation when they refused to refund the $100 T-Rex lost at the poker tables. Besides being nearsighted, and bad at math, T-Rex’s wee little arms were not made for card playing and the Indians knew this. Asshole Indians.

I went from liver failure [...]

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For the price of a really, really nice cup of coffee per day, and perhaps a fancy French pastry, and about thirty to forty more dollars, you can help rid the world of a horrible disease. Or get me upgraded to First Class on my trip to California.

Maybe I should put up a “No Solicting” sign. Nah, that’d ruin all the fun.

The City of Columbia Water Company is trying to kill me.

The Great Dinosaur Wars continues in between the drunken stupors and diabetic comas.

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