J: “How are you? How’d it go?”
Me: “I think I broke a rib in my sleep last night and it punctured my lung.”
Me: “Dude, why are you laughing? It hurts.”
J: “You always go for the worst case scenario.”
Me: “No, I don’t.”
J: “Yes you do.”
Me: “If I went for the [...]
My purse is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
I had a headache all day and just a little while ago I found a pill in the bottom of my purse and I took it even though I have no idea what kind of pill it was. I’m pretty certain it’s been in there for over a year, so if its something bad it [...]
Australia tried to assassinate me.
Sunday night I got very sick. It felt like my liver and pancreas had both exploded at the same time. At first I thought it was the booze, but then I remembered I hadn’t been drinking! (I know, right?!) I was becoming concerned and thought about driving myself to the hospital, but I knew I’d never make it. I [...]
Now comes the worst part of the new year, when you have to sober up to go back to work.
I think I’m officially a diabetic now. We’re talking full-fledged going blind, amputated legs diabetic. I don’t care what the doctors keep telling me. New Year’s Eve I drank a bottle of wine and by nine o’clock I passed the fuck out. So I missed the hoopla at midnight, instead waking at 3 in the [...]
Links to Enjoy
- Andrew Knapp Photos.
- Pot Noodles.
- The Hyena Handlers of Nigeria.
- Rest in fucking pieces, Mr. Darcy.
- Wake Up!
- Hitler's Home Movies.
- Subway Surfer.
- MC Mom.
- Is Your Girlfriend a Horse?
- Now I want to go to Iceland.
- Karaoke Hitler.
- Wake up! They see us!
- How a Gas Nozzle Knows When To Shut Off.
- A Yelp Review left for Walter Palmer's Dental Practice.
- Sleeping Guy Gets Twizzlered.
- Birds in Watercolor.
- When Taunting Goes Wrong.
- Google Sheep View.
- 3 year old girl explain the complexities of childbirth in 4 seconds.
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