Since announcing my candidacy for President of the United States on Thursday I have been on the campaign trail and by “been on the campaign trail” I mean ”drunk.” While on the campaign trail I announced that George Clooney will be my VP, and by “VP” I mean “sex slave.” It’s a hard life in the political limelight, knowing [...]
Rabies ruins everything.
I think we’ve all agreed before that dreams are bullshit and no one really cares what you’ve dreamt about. I think we’ve all also agreed that blogs are for posting bullshit; so why not dreams?
Last night I dreamt I was walking through the woods and happened upon a cabin. It wasn’t spooky or anything so [...]
I came back from lunch yesterday to find this letter on my desk:
Beneath it was this:
Nice try, but the war will continue until an unconditional surrender is tendered. Thank you for the magazine. Now lets talk about a Michael Kors purse I saw not on sale the other day.
My weekend was filled with tears, horror, and disgust; and that was just while cleaning my house Saturday morning. Specifically, I am referring to my bathroom, or what will henceforth be referred to as “The Post-Katrina Louisiana Superdome Room.” I don’t even know what I’m saying. I think I’m still high from the bleach fumes or the gin I [...]
Links to Enjoy
- Andrew Knapp Photos.
- Pot Noodles.
- The Hyena Handlers of Nigeria.
- Rest in fucking pieces, Mr. Darcy.
- Wake Up!
- Hitler's Home Movies.
- Subway Surfer.
- MC Mom.
- Is Your Girlfriend a Horse?
- Now I want to go to Iceland.
- Karaoke Hitler.
- Wake up! They see us!
- How a Gas Nozzle Knows When To Shut Off.
- A Yelp Review left for Walter Palmer's Dental Practice.
- Sleeping Guy Gets Twizzlered.
- Birds in Watercolor.
- When Taunting Goes Wrong.
- Google Sheep View.
- 3 year old girl explain the complexities of childbirth in 4 seconds.
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