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My Haiku for you. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Whenever I’m sad or unhappy, instead of getting loud and angry and violent, I like to express my feelings in poetry. SHUT. UP. IT’S  TRUE. Anyway, I thought I’d keep this short and write a Haiku poem to express myself. To be perfectly honest I’m not very familiar with Haiku  (or even the English language or sentence structure, for that matter- words are hard, yo!) so I had to look up the rules. They are as follows:

  • Only three lines, totaling 17 syllables throughout
  • The first line must be only 5 syllables
  • The second line must be comprised of 7 syllables
  • The third line must be 5 syllables like the first
  • Punctuation and capitalization rules are up to the poet, and need not follow rigid rules used in structuring sentences
  • Haiku does not have to rhyme, in fact many times it does not rhyme at all
  • Some haiku can include the repetition of words or sounds

So here we go. I titled this poem  “Betrayal.”

 

Betrayal

A Haiku by Laura Ledford

 

George Clooney’s engaged

I am fucking enraged now

Refrigerator

 

Now here’s a picture of some baby Capybaras. Just look at those adorable little horse-rat bastards. LOOK AT THEM!

38 Comments
 

38 Responses to My Haiku for you.

  1. Jena says:

    LMAO!! You are the QUEEN of Haiku’s! And those babies are cute!

  2. The last line really holds the poem together.

    As do the capybaras.

  3. Michelle says:

    Congratulations!

  4. Buttercup says:

    Clooney is looney.
    Picks another over you.
    Looks can’t fix stupid.

  5. Suzanne says:

    You are mine, motherfucker
    Never to be free
    So quit calling the police

  6. Kevin says:

    Perfection
    My favorite Haiku from Car Talk,

    Haiku confuse me
    Too often the make no sence
    hand me the pliers.

  7. Jess says:

    Just about the time I get interested in poetry, they come up with rules – and knowing the Japanese – if you fuck up, they place your head on a pole.

  8. CGHill says:

    Excellent poem, with a genuine emotional wallop.

  9. Larry says:

    That’s sad. Have some cake.

  10. Dannie says:

    Wow he’s engaged? Wth?

  11. Erik says:

    “A distant harvest
    moon brightens this simple path—
    Showing the way home”

    And speaking of home, here’s a link to George’s Lake Como home: http://www.lonny.com/Celebrity+Homes/articles/esjI6p9oCJA/George+Clooney+Lake+Como

    What you do with this information is entirely up to you. :)

  12. Alison says:

    I love haikus. I used to post them to great acclaim on Facebook. Mostly about my dog and stuff. Obviously, you have much more meaningful material to work with, Sensei.

  13. Mark12A says:

    I’m more of a limerick guy myself.

    A Lexington asshole named Clooney
    Whose politics were pretty damned looney
    A hot girl with red hair
    Court orders? Don’t care
    Because over this clown she was mooney

    Are capybaras good to eat?

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