Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
Whenever I’m sad or unhappy, instead of getting loud and angry and violent, I like to express my feelings in poetry. SHUT. UP. IT’S TRUE. Anyway, I thought I’d keep this short and write a Haiku poem to express myself. To be perfectly honest I’m not very familiar with Haiku (or even the English language or sentence structure, for that matter- words are hard, yo!) so I had to look up the rules. They are as follows:
- Only three lines, totaling 17 syllables throughout
- The first line must be only 5 syllables
- The second line must be comprised of 7 syllables
- The third line must be 5 syllables like the first
- Punctuation and capitalization rules are up to the poet, and need not follow rigid rules used in structuring sentences
- Haiku does not have to rhyme, in fact many times it does not rhyme at all
- Some haiku can include the repetition of words or sounds
So here we go. I titled this poem “Betrayal.”
A Haiku by Laura Ledford
George Clooney’s engaged
I am fucking enraged now
Now here’s a picture of some baby Capybaras. Just look at those adorable little horse-rat bastards. LOOK AT THEM!38 Comments
Links to Enjoy
- Andrew Knapp Photos.
- Pot Noodles.
- The Hyena Handlers of Nigeria.
- Rest in fucking pieces, Mr. Darcy.
- Wake Up!
- Hitler's Home Movies.
- Subway Surfer.
- MC Mom.
- Is Your Girlfriend a Horse?
- Now I want to go to Iceland.
- Karaoke Hitler.
- Wake up! They see us!
- How a Gas Nozzle Knows When To Shut Off.
- A Yelp Review left for Walter Palmer's Dental Practice.
- Sleeping Guy Gets Twizzlered.
- Birds in Watercolor.
- When Taunting Goes Wrong.
- Google Sheep View.
- 3 year old girl explain the complexities of childbirth in 4 seconds.
LMAO!! You are the QUEEN of Haiku’s! And those babies are cute!
I want an army of them and hunt hobos with them.
Rocket and grenade launchers mounted on them. WORD.
And wee little crossbows.
The last line really holds the poem together.
As do the capybaras.
They’re kinda freaky, but cute. In a freaky way.
So totes adorbs, then.
On what? lol
Clooney is looney.
Picks another over you.
Looks can’t fix stupid.
OH MY GOD! Is that Shakespeare?
You are mine, motherfucker
Never to be free
So quit calling the police
We should collaborate on a book of Haiku.
yes y’all should. I would NOT buy it, but if you gave it to me, I would try to read it.
Damn. That’s cold.
If you don’t buy the book, how are we supposed to bond out of jail?
I know, right?!
Someone else will buy it. I will sell shit to bail you out, lol
My favorite Haiku from Car Talk,
Haiku confuse me
Too often the make no sence
hand me the pliers.
Just about the time I get interested in poetry, they come up with rules – and knowing the Japanese – if you fuck up, they place your head on a pole.
I thought it was just a ninja star to the head.
We MAKE you perform Seppuku. You’re welcome.
Excellent poem, with a genuine emotional wallop.
I am a very deep person and by “deep” I mean awesome.
And it is your awesome humility that endears you to your readers.
And I’m very modest.
That’s sad. Have some cake.
Wow he’s engaged? Wth?
“A distant harvest
moon brightens this simple path—
Showing the way home”
And speaking of home, here’s a link to George’s Lake Como home: http://www.lonny.com/Celebrity+Homes/articles/esjI6p9oCJA/George+Clooney+Lake+Como
What you do with this information is entirely up to you.
Oh, those directions have been locked and loaded in my GPS since before the Judge told me some shit about so many feet away…
I love haikus. I used to post them to great acclaim on Facebook. Mostly about my dog and stuff. Obviously, you have much more meaningful material to work with, Sensei.
Yes, about my lover George Clooney.
I’m more of a limerick guy myself.
A Lexington asshole named Clooney
Whose politics were pretty damned looney
A hot girl with red hair
Court orders? Don’t care
Because over this clown she was mooney
Are capybaras good to eat?
LOL. Taste like chicken.