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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 I like cheese. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Why yes, this is a meal. There's a protein, a starch, and a vegetable. And yes, I do eat like I'm twelve.
Know what pisses me off? We can put a man on the goddamn moon but we can’t make a frozen cheese stick that doesn’t leak its cheese out of its breading when baked. I mean, c’mon, I’m no cheese stick scientist but what the fuck? How hard can it be? And the really bad part is no matter how much or what I use to grease the foil, and I have to use foil ’cause I don’t have a dishwasher or decent sized sink, the cheese sticks to it and I end up peeling it off when it’s cooled enough to touch and the foil peels off with it. AND no matter how hard I try to get the foil off of that cheese there’s always some left and I’m so hungry I just say “fuck it” and eat it anyway. And you know what they say about that- “A second on the lips, a lifetime lodged in your stomach and intestinal lining.” I think I’ve ingested enough aluminum foil in the past few months that I’ll never make it through the metal detector at the airport. Fuck.
Would you believe I’ve never had deep fried cheese? And now that gluten makes my stomach feel like I’ve eat acid and cheese makes my breath smell like zombies, I never will.
But the aluminum foil means aliens can’t read your thoughts or smell your farts or something like that. It’s all good.
For God’s sake woman – buy some of the non-stick aluminum foil! And then if it doesn’t work – SUE THEIR ASSES for false advertisement and pain and emotional shit. Then you’ll be all rich and stuff – and be able to retire for reals.
Well, SUPPOSEDLY, Reynolds makes a non-stick version of aluminum foil! As long as you put your food on the correct side (the non-shiny side), even cheese isn’t supposed to stick.
You’ll have to do a scientific study
Parchment paper. No silicone poisoning required. I haven’t even burned a cookie since I started using it. And it’s great for doing bacon on the oven, too!
Honestly, Laura, use parchment paper. Or use that non-stick aluminum. It’s more expensive but the cheese won’t stick and it would be totally worth it not to have to eat aluminum. That shit’s really bad for you.
You can also use that butter-flavored grease spray on the foil when you lay your cheesy chunks of deliciousness down to rest in the oven, they slide right off when done then!
And hey… doesn’t Bobo rate a cameo at least on the blog header yet?
“… enough aluminum foil in the past few months that I’ll never make it through the metal detector at the airport”
But surely the awesome spanish radio reception makes up for that?? Or at least the Mars radio talk shows??
Girl, if it weren’t for the OAM I’d live on fried cheese, sugar cookie dough ice cream and tacos. Granted, I might not live long, but it would be tasty while I did.
Okay, who’s your current life coach? They should be horsewhipped. And parchment paper and non stick tinfoil. Seriously. *Sigh* If you’re that concerned about saving calories you should be horsewhipped. Baking fried cheese? That’s totally sacrilege. Bacon, Circus Peanuts and Hooker slaying privileges are being revoked.
I infer your kitchen is in remodeling limbo, but there is a much better solution. If you have none, buy a relatively inexpensive electric skillet (Target has them for less than $30). They can be used anywhere there’s an electric outlet (but I recommend keeping them away from the pool and the bathtub unless you’re trying to murder the life coach who told you it was okay to bake fried cheese in the oven). So, put either enough lard or cooking oil (bacon grease you’ve saved is good, but no butter!) in the bottom to a depth of about a quarter to half an inch (you don’t really need to have it deep enough to completely submerge the cheese stick). Crank the heat to full, and give it a little time to reach the hottest setting (500 degrees is usually what I used on my old skillet, but some of the new ones which are “safety nazi” compliant don’t seem to have that setting). Carefully put in your cheese sticks watching out for splattering oil. Using a high heat safe spatula, spoon or tongs, gently rotate the cheese sticks in the hot oil to cook on all sides. You should have nearly restaurant quality cheese sticks in a matter of minutes. Remove when golden brown or when you first begin to see a tiny bead of molten cheese forming on a stick.
Now, I luv ya Laura, and all your other readers, but if I hear tell of anymore cheese stick baking there will be trouble.
That image was in the back on my mind. I’m glad you’ve got a warped, perverted sense of humor like mine. I just couldn’t come up with words that would work with “wrap your lips around the cheese nozzle like it was a…”
Well, I probably could have, but feared banishment.
You had me at the title. Yes you did.
Mmmmm cheese. Glorious cheese.
try some silicon mats. i am loving mine. instead of foil i mean – not to eat
I wonder what eating silicon does to your body? Bigger boobs?
It doesn’t work. So I hear.
Dammit.
Would you believe I’ve never had deep fried cheese? And now that gluten makes my stomach feel like I’ve eat acid and cheese makes my breath smell like zombies, I never will.
But the aluminum foil means aliens can’t read your thoughts or smell your farts or something like that. It’s all good.
I’m sorry, I stopped reading after “never had deep fried cheese.”
For God’s sake woman – buy some of the non-stick aluminum foil! And then if it doesn’t work – SUE THEIR ASSES for false advertisement and pain and emotional shit. Then you’ll be all rich and stuff – and be able to retire for reals.
Where do you buy this magical foil, ’cause mine says that and…
Well, SUPPOSEDLY, Reynolds makes a non-stick version of aluminum foil! As long as you put your food on the correct side (the non-shiny side), even cheese isn’t supposed to stick.
You’ll have to do a scientific study
I should test it out here.
Parchment paper. No silicone poisoning required. I haven’t even burned a cookie since I started using it. And it’s great for doing bacon on the oven, too!
More wizardry!
*in* the oven
Two words: parchment paper. Surely that’s more digestible than foil?
On the other hand, with the holidays coming up, how can you get more festive than pooping glitter!?
As long as it’s balled up that’d be okay I suppose.
Honestly, Laura, use parchment paper. Or use that non-stick aluminum. It’s more expensive but the cheese won’t stick and it would be totally worth it not to have to eat aluminum. That shit’s really bad for you.
Says who? (Eye twitches as I go into convulsions.)
Take em out when the cheese just starts to ooze!
Sounds too labor intensive to have to watch them.
You can also use that butter-flavored grease spray on the foil when you lay your cheesy chunks of deliciousness down to rest in the oven, they slide right off when done then!
And hey… doesn’t Bobo rate a cameo at least on the blog header yet?
Damn..Bobo has a bigger following then me! Ha!
Well, at least when we are invaded by Martians you won’t have to mess your hair by wearing one of those tin foil hats….
There’s that at least.
“… enough aluminum foil in the past few months that I’ll never make it through the metal detector at the airport”
But surely the awesome spanish radio reception makes up for that?? Or at least the Mars radio talk shows??
But I can’t understand them!
Has anyone mentioned parchment paper yet? No? TRY IT.
No. Ha!
Girl, if it weren’t for the OAM I’d live on fried cheese, sugar cookie dough ice cream and tacos. Granted, I might not live long, but it would be tasty while I did.
Well, I probably only have a few years left.
I too fear that you will not be able to get through airport screening without a strip search so make sure that you tuck your stash in J’s carry-on.
You’re a genius!
Parchment paper! And cheese cooked right = oozy goodness…it’s a good thing!
I gotta get to the store…
Okay, who’s your current life coach? They should be horsewhipped. And parchment paper and non stick tinfoil. Seriously. *Sigh* If you’re that concerned about saving calories you should be horsewhipped. Baking fried cheese? That’s totally sacrilege. Bacon, Circus Peanuts and Hooker slaying privileges are being revoked.
I infer your kitchen is in remodeling limbo, but there is a much better solution. If you have none, buy a relatively inexpensive electric skillet (Target has them for less than $30). They can be used anywhere there’s an electric outlet (but I recommend keeping them away from the pool and the bathtub unless you’re trying to murder the life coach who told you it was okay to bake fried cheese in the oven). So, put either enough lard or cooking oil (bacon grease you’ve saved is good, but no butter!) in the bottom to a depth of about a quarter to half an inch (you don’t really need to have it deep enough to completely submerge the cheese stick). Crank the heat to full, and give it a little time to reach the hottest setting (500 degrees is usually what I used on my old skillet, but some of the new ones which are “safety nazi” compliant don’t seem to have that setting). Carefully put in your cheese sticks watching out for splattering oil. Using a high heat safe spatula, spoon or tongs, gently rotate the cheese sticks in the hot oil to cook on all sides. You should have nearly restaurant quality cheese sticks in a matter of minutes. Remove when golden brown or when you first begin to see a tiny bead of molten cheese forming on a stick.
Now, I luv ya Laura, and all your other readers, but if I hear tell of anymore cheese stick baking there will be trouble.
THAT”S WHAT THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE BOX SAID TO DO! BAKE ‘EM! And also, yes- I still have no kitchen.
Mmmhmm. Haven’t you learned not to believe everything you read?
No.
I loved it when the cheese scientists crammed a bunch of cheese inside a spray can.
Hells yeah! And skip the cracker, spray that bitch right in your mouth like a loose prom date..wait…what?
That image was in the back on my mind. I’m glad you’ve got a warped, perverted sense of humor like mine. I just couldn’t come up with words that would work with “wrap your lips around the cheese nozzle like it was a…”
Well, I probably could have, but feared banishment.
HAHA!