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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 Jesus Wept. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
That’s a picture of my new Weber Charcoal Grill. It came unassembled Monday and I just assembled it yesterday. It took me over three hours, two beers, and one gin and tonic to put it together. The instructions were in no language, just drawings. The picture that told you NOT to do something had an almost invisible line through it and was right next to the picture of what you were supposed to do. So of course the first thing I did was put slot A into tab B as I drank my first beer and muttered “I got this.” Then I cursed so much I’m pretty certain I made Baby Jesus cry. Hell, I’m pretty certain a few angels lost their wings. I think Satan even got nervous. Doesn’t matter though, ’cause there’s gonna be some motherfuckin’ burgers grillin’ up in here today.
Have you set out your hamburger traps? Those little suckers are hard to catch! I been trying and trying and …I’m thinking using mustard for bait might have been a bad idea.
We’re gonna get food porn pics, right? Don’t forget to invite the dinosaurs, it’s been awhile since we’ve seen them. I’m a little worried they were decimated by a Jackasaurus Rex.
Glad you conquered the assembly !…That looks Great ! I would go to Weber’s FB page and leave your opinion of their faded instructions.
My J. recently discovered bacon wrapped hot dogs. So far we’ve only done them under the broiler. I used toothpicks to hold the bacon ends down. Really good, but Very Salty.
I’ll bring my Rumcake to your party which has been called “Rum with Cake”.
Yummm. So that was your barbeque I smelled last night….
I couldn’t help, however, notice the wheels. I hope it has good brakes so it doesn’t roll away on you mid barbeque. Then again, I could see that grill making an awesome piece of zombie defensive equipment in the form of a mobile bonfire unit.
The only way you could possibly get any cooler would be if you had an iPhone. (BTW – do you have an iPhone? You’ve never said…)
Seriously, though, I’m insanely jealous. I want to get a grill but I’m torn…do I get a gas grill for convenience or a charcoal grill for taste. Or a kamado grill because for tastier, wood-fired taste? Ugh.
Got that same exact charcoal burner, also have a weber genesis gas grill. The gas grill is just pretty much a spider house now. I never use the bitch. Spiders love it. Hank Hill may disagree, but charcoal is the way to go. Oh yeah, had me a 12 pack to put that bitch together.
I LOVE it. I got one of those rapid fire starter thingies and I’ve cooked on it almost every day! Yeah, I don’t think I’ll get a gas grill, I don’t want the spiders to get too comfy.
Did you see any flying spiders or beetles the length of your hand ? Over in NJ there are some testicle eating fish…need to torture someone ?
This about the spiders is Creee-pee.
Scroll down for the beetle….that is if the content at the bottom of the page doesn’t change.
Those spiders aren’t just in Chicago……
Fortunately it’s a charcoal grill and not subject to immediate explosion if you leave a part off, like a gas grill is wont to do.
I had neighbors once upon a time who experienced just that type of momentous event. My suspicion is that they were illegal immigrants who couldn’t even read the Spanish instructions and nearly set our 8-unit apartment building on fire. Which would have been fine if they could limit the damage to their own apartment or better yet themselves. But after creating a cool spherical void in the landscaping (from the flash) they managed to toss the offending grill into a nearby landscaping water feature and thus ended my afternoon entertainment.
Oddly, they were not even counselled on their behavior by the apartment’s management. Fucking California.
Burn them cows! Woot! I like the re tinge they get from charcoal. I once got it on a gas grill. No idea how i did that.
YES! That is why I decided on a charcoal grill. Love that carcinogenic taste! Later I may get a gas grill. Maybe.
Nice. You hired a chef?
You offering? I can pay you in cheeseburgers. Of course, you’ll have to cook them yourself.
Have you set out your hamburger traps? Those little suckers are hard to catch! I been trying and trying and …I’m thinking using mustard for bait might have been a bad idea.
Hmm I usually just trap hobos and I use cans of sterno as bait.
We’re gonna get food porn pics, right? Don’t forget to invite the dinosaurs, it’s been awhile since we’ve seen them. I’m a little worried they were decimated by a Jackasaurus Rex.
Yes! I will drive y’all INSANE with food pics. The dinosaurs are packed away! Wrapped in bubble wrap and safe!
Can we have a party NOW! I will bring the cheese fountain cuz I’m pretty sure yours is packed….in bubble wrap…..safe…somewhere.
Well, be sure to bring the logs of Velveeta too.
I’ll take on with cheese!
Don’t forget bacon!
*one
Didja skin a knuckle and bleed a bit? The best projects involve a little blood and a lot of cussin.’
I did! I even have two bruises when I was trying to put the shelf on!
She is beautimus…. I’m hungry……
There will be burgers AND chicken cooked on it tonight. Just sayin’…
Address please…..
Ha!
You must be some kind of grill assembly wizard. I would have drank a six pack, became unhinged and spent the night in jail for disturbing the peace.
It almost came to that.
Glad you conquered the assembly !…That looks Great ! I would go to Weber’s FB page and leave your opinion of their faded instructions.
My J. recently discovered bacon wrapped hot dogs. So far we’ve only done them under the broiler. I used toothpicks to hold the bacon ends down. Really good, but Very Salty.
I’ll bring my Rumcake to your party which has been called “Rum with Cake”.
You can’t go wrong with bacon. Or Rum. Or cake for that matter.
And you even did it legally – on Monday rather than Sunday.
I KNOW! Didn’t break one Blue Law!
And by the way, that bat gif is totally awesome.
Ain’t it though?
That is SWEET! Love the tray to put stuff. If it ain’t charcoal, it ain’t grillin’!!
Exactly!
Yummm. So that was your barbeque I smelled last night….
I couldn’t help, however, notice the wheels. I hope it has good brakes so it doesn’t roll away on you mid barbeque. Then again, I could see that grill making an awesome piece of zombie defensive equipment in the form of a mobile bonfire unit.
The wheels have brakes on them! Sho’ ’nuff!
Apparently Weber has been hiring laid-off Ikea staff to produce something resembling, but not actually equal to, customer instructions.
HA! At least it’s not in Swedish…or is it??
Sorry off topic, but this is so sweet….
Everybody needs a Teddy.
https://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#!/photo.php?fbid=10151835148607808&set=a.380578777807.159246.91251252807&type=1&theater
Yes they do…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1153931/On-rat-walk-Rodent-strikes-pose-budding-fashion-photographer.html
Awww…that is so sweet !
I love the Santa photo !
The only way you could possibly get any cooler would be if you had an iPhone. (BTW – do you have an iPhone? You’ve never said…)
Seriously, though, I’m insanely jealous. I want to get a grill but I’m torn…do I get a gas grill for convenience or a charcoal grill for taste. Or a kamado grill because for tastier, wood-fired taste? Ugh.
I had the same problem and decided on this.
YES, I do in fact have an iPhone.
Got that same exact charcoal burner, also have a weber genesis gas grill. The gas grill is just pretty much a spider house now. I never use the bitch. Spiders love it. Hank Hill may disagree, but charcoal is the way to go. Oh yeah, had me a 12 pack to put that bitch together.
I LOVE it. I got one of those rapid fire starter thingies and I’ve cooked on it almost every day! Yeah, I don’t think I’ll get a gas grill, I don’t want the spiders to get too comfy.
Did you see any flying spiders or beetles the length of your hand ? Over in NJ there are some testicle eating fish…need to torture someone ?
This about the spiders is Creee-pee.
Scroll down for the beetle….that is if the content at the bottom of the page doesn’t change.
Those spiders aren’t just in Chicago……
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/13/flying-spiders-chicago-hi_n_1671373.html
Ummmm YUCK. I do, however, have a list for torture…
Fortunately it’s a charcoal grill and not subject to immediate explosion if you leave a part off, like a gas grill is wont to do.
I had neighbors once upon a time who experienced just that type of momentous event. My suspicion is that they were illegal immigrants who couldn’t even read the Spanish instructions and nearly set our 8-unit apartment building on fire. Which would have been fine if they could limit the damage to their own apartment or better yet themselves. But after creating a cool spherical void in the landscaping (from the flash) they managed to toss the offending grill into a nearby landscaping water feature and thus ended my afternoon entertainment.
Oddly, they were not even counselled on their behavior by the apartment’s management. Fucking California.
HA! I would have loved to had seen that myself.
I love grilling, and confess that I like the speed of gas grills. I think that makes me an outcast!
Loved the rat pics. I have a dwarf hamster. Even better than a rat. She’s adorable and impeccably clean, stink free.
Nah, not an outcast- you can still invite me to dinner.
I had a pet rat and he was the smartest thing. AND very clean.