Shortly after I moved here I bought a couple of tomato plants just for the hell of it even though it was pretty late to be planting. I put them in the garden area behind the pool and then basically ignored them- not out of laziness, mind you, but as a scientific experiment. Yeah, that’s it- science. Well, one plant died almost immediately and the other one not only survived but thrived, and just a few days ago a few of the tomatoes ripened enough to be eaten. I decided to celebrate since it had been years since I actually had a homegrown tomato. I called J to join in the celebration.
Me: “Hey! I had two tomatoes ripen on my plant so I’m going to have a Tomatopalooza!”
J: “What? What’s a Tomatopalooza?”
Me: “It’s like a tomato festival minus clowns. You know, to celebrate the harvest of the first ’maters from my plant!”
J: “Umm…and just what do you plan to do at your Tomatopalooza?”
Me: “Well, I think I’ll make BLT’s and sing that “You Say Tomato I say Tomahto” song. Maybe even have party hats!”
J: “God you’re so weird.”
Me: “Well, Mr. Tomatopalooza Hating Nazi, consider your Tomatopalooza invite rescinded.”
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- Hitler's Home Movies.
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I would come over for the bacon.
There’s always bacon here.
And later, you can rent Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
YES! I will have to remember that for next year’s celebration.
Dammit!!! I’d lurve me some garden fresh ‘maters to make a B3LT (that’s bacon cubed, as in quantity) sammich!!!
I should have invited you to the tomatopalooza!
I don’t know who’s weirder: you or me. This story was funny until I got to the last word and then it was hilarious.
We overplanted tomatoes this year and are picking about five gallons every other day. I have to buy a new freezer to put stewed tomatoes in. I’ll never starve.
Just a suggestion, but if you’re going to retain your serial killer hobby you should consider getting some hogs. That way you can convert embarassing and inconvenient dead bodies to something useful like bacon.
Ohh I wish I could. And chickens.
Nazis hate everything don’t they?
Wait, you’re not done until you tell us how luscious and juicy and incomparably delicious they were! (J reads this, right?)
And it was the best BLT in the history of BLTs.
Mmmmmmmmmmm BLT. MMmmmmmmmmmm drool drool
What is wrong with that boy! Doesn’t he know there is nothing better In the entire world than a homegrown mater? You have to teach him some good e country ways..SMH…
Bacon, and tomatoes, when mixed, are a basic food group necessary for a long healthy life.
I read that somewhere…or made it up…it doesn’t matter….I’m right.
You are right. You’re like a food scientist.
Fresh tomato and onion soup, cold, with a bit of vinegar and sugar… Nothing like it.
I bet a little drizzle of bacon fat would make that one of the awesome at foods ever. Little sprigs of cilantro…
OOOOoo I haven’t tried any of that.
My extensive research indicates that BLTs are a rabies-inhibitor. (And by research, I mean that I eat BLTs and I noticed that I don’t have rabies.) J should have just shut up and eaten his lovingly prepared BLT.
I eat bacon constantly and I am racked with rabies. I should probably change to the hickory smoked kind.
Boy. You are just living high now that you are a homeowner with a pool…
I am all fancy and shit now.
Mmm….BLT’s with triple , or more, BACON.
Home grown tomatoes and crunchy bacon.
That is to Die For.
J. is not well.
J is a Nazi, and Nazis don’t go to Paloozas.
My tomato plants finally gave up the ghost. Between the heat wave & my Oriels migrating away (they used to eat all the bugs so I didn’t have to spray for pests) my plants are ready for the compost.
I was shocked I got any to tell the truth. I basically ignored it.
Oh, man! What is the matter with J!?! I, for one, am so jealous of your tomatopalooza. Leif didn’t plant tomatoes this year because he hoped he’d be moving to his new farm. The farm deal is still in the air and now we have no tomatoes either.
Oh noes. I should have sent out invites.
Can you make Tomato Puree by shooting them with a .45? Cool!!
I dunno, but a 12 gauge makes ketchup.