My weekend has been bubbling over with adventure and excitement. This morning I cleaned out my new (new to me anyway) pool’s skimmer filter. I may turn this into a series here on the blog. Don’t worry though, that generally just means you’ll see it only once on here. Squirrel! But for now, come with me on a magical photo journey of things maimed and/or murdered by my “Skimmer Filter of Death.” A place where Stick Science is applied religiously.
This Gray Tree Frog actually survived, though I’m pretty certain he’s like one of those last survivors from one of those SAW movies. Beaten up not only physically, but mentally fucked up and destined to be in a sequel.
This baby frog was not so lucky. This made me sad because I like frogs. RIP, baby frog. You’re with baby Jesus now.
This bug’s death did not sadden me. Perhaps life has hardened me, calloused my emotions. Perhaps I just don’t like bugs, especially clingy beetles. Yeah, go with #2.
And now the pièce de résistance of “The Skimmer Filter of Death” recent victims, the “What The Fuck Is That” and “I’m Going To Have To Burn My Gloves After Touching This” finale:
Links to Enjoy
- Andrew Knapp Photos.
- Pot Noodles.
- The Hyena Handlers of Nigeria.
- Rest in fucking pieces, Mr. Darcy.
- Wake Up!
- Hitler's Home Movies.
- Subway Surfer.
- MC Mom.
- Is Your Girlfriend a Horse?
- Now I want to go to Iceland.
- Karaoke Hitler.
- Wake up! They see us!
- How a Gas Nozzle Knows When To Shut Off.
- A Yelp Review left for Walter Palmer's Dental Practice.
- Sleeping Guy Gets Twizzlered.
- Birds in Watercolor.
- When Taunting Goes Wrong.
- Google Sheep View.
- 3 year old girl explain the complexities of childbirth in 4 seconds.
Wow! When the zombie apocalypse hits you won’t have to hunt for sustenance.
MMmmm frog legs.
I was ok until the mole.
Sell the house.
Maybe burn it first?
LAst one Looks Like a “Mole Rat”
What No turtle Pics?
No, no. The turtle was relocated some distance away.
You need a Frog Log – it really will cut down significantly on dead critters in your pool.
We used to find dead critters nearly every day – including a dead squirrel once. Now it’s so rare that when we do find one, we figure it must be Darwin at play (too stupid to live).
BTW, living in the South, have you found any snakes under the lid to your skimmer yet? For some reason, they seem to REALLY like to hide there.
When we moved in to our house, we couldn’t figure out why there was no lid to the skimmer basket. So we bought one. The next day I lifted the lid and found a pile of 4 or 5 small snakes under the lid (not in the skimmer, around the skimmer). Like the previous owners, we threw away the skimmer lid!
Thank you for that info and visual. Did I say thank you? I meant DAMN YOU! Ha!
Oh yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, fuck, yuck, yuck!!
I know, right?!
That was quite a build up from surviving frogs going downhill to a nasty assed mole creature (no doubt from some black lagoon downstream from the nuke plant). You went right on down the ugh scale.
The mole is a surprise. When I used to help my brother take care of a pool, we never found a mole.
Hopefully, the mole didn’t find its way into the pool through a crack in the concrete.
No cracks. Not that we’re aware of. Now…lemme go look…
Unlike Dobermom, I have not experienced snakes or squirrels in the pool. Mole rats seem to jump into the pool of death every day. Funny thing, I don’t see any other evidence of moles. Your mole seems particularly slimy though. Had it been “circulating” for several days? Clingy beetles are the worst!
I believe it’s been a few days in there. I don’t know. I’m waiting on the autopsy results.
Fucking clingy beetles, man. They’re the worse kind of beetle.
Oh, ick! He’s the color of steamed mushrooms. Blerg!
Bug soup. Did I say “ick” before?
And in this heat? Definitely “soup.”
Yes. And just think- I had to remove the lil sonsabitches. Thank God for gloves.
The link is no good. The original “Stick Science” classic is still lost in limbo.
I foresee ghost zombie moles and frogs haunting your gin & circus peanut parties until this oversight is corrected.
The link works for me. Maybe you have a popup blocker? I dunno, I’m not a link scientist.
Good lawd, zombie victims.
Poor lil’ baby froggie.
The mole thingy is kinda sad, too.
As for the beetle we call June Bugs, which appear any time in warm weather, not just June…..DIE !
Totally harmless but the clingy thing is really aggravating.
Each year it’s one of these critters that there’s an abundance of : June Bugs, little black Crickets, Pill Bugs/Roly-Polies, big stupid wolf/banana spiders, and scorpions off and on all year – but not as many at one time like the others.
Well, one year when it was June bugs and the bastards were out by the thousands it seemed, I went to TX A&M’s Entomology Dept., which you can drive right up to on Agronomy Rd., and asked how do you get rid of the June bugs when there are so many ? And I got instructions about eliminating the grubs first that are below ground (which later become June Bugs)…..Anyway when I asked him why they Stank so bad when they were dead, he said all insects stink like that when they decay it’s just that “June Bugs are like little hot dogs…there’s a lot more inside to decompose compared to other insects.”
Ha! The hotdogs of the insect world.
And I’m all for mole death. They are tunneling the hell out of my yard.
We used to have the gophers at our school and they wrecked havoc on the school playground. The kids were always stepping in a hole and breaking their legs. So we called out the County Vector Control and they came out and bombed them with cyanide. Totally cool. We did it on weekends so we didn’t kill the kids too. You never know where the other end of the gopher hole will come up. In the middle of a classroom with cyanide gas is not cool.
Damn. That sounds pretty serious.
People in Alaska run traplines, If they knew all they need to do is build a series of swimming pools they could save a lot of money in bait!
Seriously. Maybe I should open a bait shop. Hmmm…
O.M.G. I have never seen critters that large be eaten by a pool skimmer. They must be some vicious machines. My grandparents in Garland, TX had a pool and I’d always look in the trap to see if cicadas were in there. Often they’d dry out in the sun and then fly off again, which I thought was mighty cool. But those were the largest things I ever pulled out of anywhere in a pool.
And yes, June bugs can die nasty deaths. (I know, I know – for some reason cicadas fascinate me but June bugs disgust me, no idea why)
Apparently, I really do have The Pool Skimmer of Death. I saw a GIANT cicada the other day. Every thing is bigger near the coast. Or maybe there’s just a nuclear plant nearby.
Uh, you every heard of Savannah River Plant? Aren’t you down stream?
Umm, yeah. I’m now pretty far away from it. I was closer to it when I was in Columbia.
That’s not a mole, Its a baby Norway Rat. A young one too. Might wanna call the ‘Stermanator.
He had mole teeth, mole claws, mole ears (or lack thereof) and a wee mole tail. Like this but waterlogged.
OMG! No more links to disgusting creatures!! Ewwww!
We had a beautiful pool in Florida.. but we found things like Alligator’s in there. they would come right through the screen.. it gave a whole new meaning to “CHECK THE POOL BEFORE YOU DIVE IN AT 7 A.M WHILE YOUR HALF ALSEEP”…. yeah we had to call animal control twice for that reason during the dry season. I have pictures. Ill have to send them to you…
Send away! I think I’m far away from the swamps not to get any gators.
That link to the Mole (live one) was disgusting. It makes you look up to the sky and say “Why God, Why?” I’m gonna go eat my breakfast now…
I do the same thing about Palmetto Bugs, except then I lose my appetite.
I did NOT need to see that slimy mole thankyouverymuch. My friend that has a pool pulls a rat out every so often.
That’s why I may make it a series here! Ha!
The link did not work for me either, I may have a pop up blocker but it said “You do not have permission to preview drafts.” what ever that means. I’m sad… but I remember the story and I remember the homework cuz I sent in pictures. But I didn’t win anything.. hey! was there a prize?
I think you got deputized was all.
It works here so it must be a pop-up blocker stops it. It was written on Moveable Type and moved over into archives on Word Press- which I use now.
Holy Moly! (HA!)
I saw what you did there. And yeah, he’s kinda holy I reckon. He’s with Baby Jesus.
Holy crap! In all the years of pulling icky things out of my pool filter I never once – not once!- thought of taking my friends on a photographic journey. I love your crazy ass blog!
Well you should! And thank you.
Still no dead hookers?
Oh, well. Meanwhile, have you ever thought of feeding the hobos?
Shame to waste such a rich source of protein .. “every Tuesday @ Laura’s – free soup” or bbq. Whichever.
Hmmm kind of like setting a hobo trap?
No palmetto bugs in the pool ?
They must be having their pool parties while you sleep…..
Seriously, wouldn’t some stray ones show up in that pool filter ?
Sorry, I’m not that familiar with the pool filter things.
Well, I did have my exterminators come out and treat the yard for them, so their population (in my yard anyway) must be down.
That was so frickin disgusting…Soooo whens the party? Ill fly in. OMG we would have a blast.. but on the other hand you would be finding bigger things at the bottom of your pool…. like bodies….. FUN FUN FUN!
As long as it’s just hobos and hookers, I’m down with that.
ugh! This is the most upsetting thing I’ve seen all day! I’m troubled, Laura. TROUBLED.
ok first that was gross though glad you won’t be getting any brain eating amoebas from your formerly dirty pool. second this t-shirt is awesome!
Ooooo I need that t-shirt.
I figured out the link problem.
you need to eliminate everything from ‘?preview’ on.
You’re a link scientist. Thanks.