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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 I’m baaaaaaack! | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
I know y’all probably thought I abandoned this blog, but I promise I haven’t and to prove that I have returned, and to kick up as much attention as I can, here is a video of Jack, because EVERYONE LOVES DOGGY VIDEOS!
I have to keep Jack in an area of the house that is carpeted since his spinal surgery (that’s why I’ve bought so many safety gates). I feed him after I come home from work and while he’s eating I usually go change out of my assassin clothes, make sure the cats have food, and check my email. I’m exhausted by that time, yet I still have to wash his bowl that’s two rooms away! WOE IS ME! But Jack helps the best he can:
Holy hell! Have you seen how well my shitty video skills have improved? Now if I can just keep my fingers away from the lens and remember to turn down the sound on Jack’s television. Yes, he watches television while I’m at work. His favorite shows are Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown. For reals.
All I have to say is It’s hard to start your day with out your morning laugh. I guess I too am a Junkie Monkey, Missed you, Looks like Jack is doing fab. XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOX Jack!
My dog listens to NPR all day, but we’re a household of flaming hippie liberals. Why the hell am I following the blog of a gun-toting professional assassin with a penchant for murdering hobos?
So happy to see Jack doing so well! Even though 2/3 of the video was of some bare carpet, it made my day! Jack is a very talented and obedient dog, isn’t he?
Glad to have you back on the interwebz. I hope this means we’ll be seeing you more often, now that the holidays are over for another year!
Finally, some fresh FMFM with my morning coffee. And Jack? Such a good boy! Tell him I’m still working on that campaign to have his own featured banner (I can visualize it now): “Where Jack is judged to be a Good Boy (finally, goddammit)!” Tell him that it’s slow going because he has tough competition of the feline variety; plus, the management is unusually resistant. Perhaps if I filed a .gov petition?
Shit, it’s been so long I forgot which of my screen names I’ve used on your blog. But at least I’ve known you were still among the living by getting your facebook posts.
I’d watch your video but I’ve got something else running and will reluctantly put it off. I’m sure it’ll be my loss. In fact, I’d probably do a Christmas Story/Ralphie thing and give you A+++++++++ for your cinematic expertise.
But glad to see you back in harness. Slap the bitches for me, and get prepared for your Valentine’s Day Spider.
Such a good boy! My cats will leave when I tell them to get something but I suspect it is to get away from me since they never come back with anything.
Oh Y’all, I go to therapy twice a week, (nother story)All I ever talk about was Flying Monkeys. So much so that My therapist started readin you…. When we didn’t see you for a while he went kinda goofie and he started calling ME! wanted to know if I knew you or If I could get hold of you to get you to come back. I had to calm his ass down gurl! I’m gonna start charging him!
Oh my god that is absurdly aborable. I’m so glad you’re back and that Jack is doing well. If you’re looking to save after-work energy, here’s a tip: yes take off your assassin clothes, but just don’t put new clothes on afterward. Just be naked. It’s way easier. Then maybe you’ll have energy to clean Jack’s bowl.
What a good boy he is. Rudi only looks at his bowl. But he is pretty good at bringing me other things – still working on the margarita. He is having trouble slicing the limes.
Oh my !….Sooo wonderful to see Jack so happy and doing so well !
That tail was just a blur !
Hugs and smooches for Jack.
Does he still have follow-up visits with the surgeons who did his surgery ? (I assume he had some)…They must be Very pleased with his recovery !
Good to see you again !
Hope you got all the dead hookers out of the pool…or have you moved yet ?
YES! as you can see we are here too. Hawking your blog like the Monkey Junkies we all are. Ha! Great Video Skills. HEY JACK!
I’ m counting on y’ all to be stalkers.
Jack’s looking good. If I ask Stretch to bring me something, he’ll bring it, but there is no telling what it might be. I think he’s fucking with me.
I’ve been playing around with iPhoto lately, and it’s pretty cool, but there is a HUGE learning curve, and you need all the power you can muster.
Take Jack on a long patrol for me and Stretch. Stretch loves his patrols. Have a good weekend.
Ha! That’s why I kept reminding him of his mission.
I’m going to have to check out iPhoto. I hope everyone on the Serengeti has a great weekend too!
All I have to say is It’s hard to start your day with out your morning laugh. I guess I too am a Junkie Monkey, Missed you, Looks like Jack is doing fab. XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOX Jack!
Oh My! I meant Monkey Junkie.. sorry.
It’ s nice to know you’re not a primate on crack. I’m around enough of those at work. Well those and bitches.
He is doing great. Thanks.
My dog listens to NPR all day, but we’re a household of flaming hippie liberals. Why the hell am I following the blog of a gun-toting professional assassin with a penchant for murdering hobos?
Because you love me and you know I have nothing against flaming hippie liberals. Just bitches and the French.
Have I ever mentioned I lived in France for a couple of years?
I’m sorry.
So happy to see Jack doing so well! Even though 2/3 of the video was of some bare carpet, it made my day! Jack is a very talented and obedient dog, isn’t he?
Glad to have you back on the interwebz. I hope this means we’ll be seeing you more often, now that the holidays are over for another year!
Jack’ s a good boy. And yes you will be seeing me more… that’s the plan anyway.
Considering Jack’s viewing choices, I believe he’s more qualified to represent clients than at least half the attorney’s in the United States.
AND he’ ll work for kibble.
OK.. you are forgiven. I would mention the laziness, but he looked SOOOOO PROUD!!! As well as he should! He’s a GOOD BOY!!
He really is a good boy and he’s a happy little fella.
Good to see you and Jack on the innertubes again! But c’mon, Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown? We gotta get Jack hooked on John Wayne movies!
AND some Sons of Anarchy.
Happy dog – happy you – happy me – oh happy day
And happy weekend!
Finally, some fresh FMFM with my morning coffee. And Jack? Such a good boy! Tell him I’m still working on that campaign to have his own featured banner (I can visualize it now): “Where Jack is judged to be a Good Boy (finally, goddammit)!” Tell him that it’s slow going because he has tough competition of the feline variety; plus, the management is unusually resistant. Perhaps if I filed a .gov petition?
Good Lawd! Okay, okay, a soon as I have time to Photoshop.
I’m so glad you’re back! I missed you!
(At a meeting) Hi, my name is Roxie, and I am a funky chunky Monkey Junkie!
(crowd) Hi, Roxie!
Ha! Hi, Roxie!
Wow, your voice sounds so… normal. Not like a ninja assassin at all, but I guess that’s part of the disguise, right?
Good boy, Jack!
If by normal you mean weird, yes. I think hearing your own voice is icky.
Jack says thbanks!
Love his sweet, happy face!
Me too!
Shit, it’s been so long I forgot which of my screen names I’ve used on your blog. But at least I’ve known you were still among the living by getting your facebook posts.
I’d watch your video but I’ve got something else running and will reluctantly put it off. I’m sure it’ll be my loss. In fact, I’d probably do a Christmas Story/Ralphie thing and give you A+++++++++ for your cinematic expertise.
But glad to see you back in harness. Slap the bitches for me, and get prepared for your Valentine’s Day Spider.
I’m not even sure I’ll let them witness my genius decorating skills anymore. I’m so so tired of whiny bitches.
Such a good boy! My cats will leave when I tell them to get something but I suspect it is to get away from me since they never come back with anything.
Haha! My cats do the same thing.
My flying monkees all deserted me and went to live in California. Does this mean I have to pay them palimony??
Yes.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeey Jack Man.. Lookin Good little buddy. You have inproved by the way….
Yes he has.
Oh Y’all, I go to therapy twice a week, (nother story)All I ever talk about was Flying Monkeys. So much so that My therapist started readin you…. When we didn’t see you for a while he went kinda goofie and he started calling ME! wanted to know if I knew you or If I could get hold of you to get you to come back. I had to calm his ass down gurl! I’m gonna start charging him!
I think it’s time to change therapists.
Oh my god that is absurdly aborable. I’m so glad you’re back and that Jack is doing well. If you’re looking to save after-work energy, here’s a tip: yes take off your assassin clothes, but just don’t put new clothes on afterward. Just be naked. It’s way easier. Then maybe you’ll have energy to clean Jack’s bowl.
You should be a personal trainer.
I knew those pussie-ass aliens that abducted you couldn’t hang with your gin, circus peanuts and voodoo.
Welcome back and shit.
Ha! Thanks. They wouldn’t leave me a death ray gun though. Sonsabitches.
What a good boy he is. Rudi only looks at his bowl. But he is pretty good at bringing me other things – still working on the margarita. He is having trouble slicing the limes.
Ha! Yeah, but thank God he never gave them thumbs. I keep weapons in the house.
Awwww, he looks so damn happy! Brings tears to my eyes.
Especially since my dogs can’t be bothered to bring their fucking bowls to me.
Ha! If I could just get him to vacuum…
OK, I have called the National Guard and the SC State Patrol and canceled the missing persons report. Carry on.
Glad to have you back.
Thank you.
I hope you have those flying monkeys under control; the witch in Washington may be looking for a few.
http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/2013/01/13/
My flying monkeys are only kept under control by having an ample supply of Circus Peanuts on hand.
Jack looks great!!
Oh, and I did get a little creeped out hearing your voice.OBVIOUSLY Not because you’re creepy…but because it sounded sooo familiar.
Change the accent just a tich, (South to North) and it sounds like mine when it gets recorded. Do all of us assassins sound alike?
Shhhh..you know that’s all part of our training.
Oh my !….Sooo wonderful to see Jack so happy and doing so well !
That tail was just a blur !
Hugs and smooches for Jack.
Does he still have follow-up visits with the surgeons who did his surgery ? (I assume he had some)…They must be Very pleased with his recovery !
Good to see you again !
Hope you got all the dead hookers out of the pool…or have you moved yet ?
I won’t be moving until the house is completed.
Yes, Jack’ s surgeon is very happy- but not as much as me.