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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 Satan’s Holiday. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
My manager came into my office one day last month and said that she had had some people in the office call her with concerns about decorating for Halloween because Halloween is “Pagan” and is “about Satan.” She also told me that someone said that “spiders and body parts are scary.” I kid you not. So she asked me to “tone it down” this year.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my 2012 Toned-Down Salute to Pagans and Satan:
A "Toned-Down" display, Vegas Style.
I thought this sign was very fitting:
Spiders! Body parts!
I'm scared. Hold me. No wait, don't touch me.
The spider dressed as a WHORE this year, complete with a fancy WHORE hat, a WHORE feathered boa, and WHORE shoes:
I wanted the audience to have something they could relate to.
And because the opposite wall was just screaming for something, I made it a zombie feeding zone. But because zombies eat brains, they’re going to pretty much starve up in there.
Poor zombies. Not a brain in sight.
P.S. I will be posting a video either Halloween night or the next day of the special “pagan-y, satanic” effect I will be adding Halloween day.
AAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHhhahhahahahahahahhahahahhahahahaooooohhhhhoohhwwwwwwowooowoowowowooaahahahahahhahahahahowoowowoaooaoaoaoaagaagahaahahahahhhaahhahahahh Love the shoes… ahhahahhahhahahhapooohohohohoohooogagagagagoaoaahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahhaah
Those who have no talent are always jealous of the brilliant ones, and on account of their own inadequacy complex tend to harass those they feel inferior to. Think of their request to “tone it down” a compliment to your skill and eye for decorating.
I know some poeple like that. They are very sad and unhappy folks. Always looking for the “BAD” in things. Your work is beautiful and I hope you enjoy your Holiday.
Wow, the spider is almost lost in all the WHOREdom. Well done. Now if anyone complains, say “What, are they afraid of the WHORE? They should be used to it.”
Love the display. It is a virtual “birdie finger salute” to those with no taste. I will admit the assemblage of inadequate penises put it over the top for me.
I am so sure, that these pic do your flair NO Justice. I wish I could see it in person. I’ll bet it is breathtaking. I look forward to future endevours. BTW I really like the spiders everywhere. Offspring I’m assuming.
The funny thing is that after I wrote about how the spider gets around, I was trying to revise the Spiderman lyrics so it was all about “SpiderWhore”. Unfortunately, I was still hungover and couldn’t make it work. Still, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Satan’s Spawn. That’s what you are. I smell a write-up in your future. Oh oh, that wouldn’t be smart. Now that package of chicken paws will come in handy for your revenge!
What the hell happened to America and free speech!! What the hell that you can’t even celebrate Halloween because some dimwit with a 12 IQ thinks Satan is gonna get them. Shit!
I adore your display and your spirit!! Vive la rébellion!!
Want me to send you some of my witch/pagan themed books I have to put under that tree? I have a nice small sliver cup with a pentagram on it that would look great with the spider.
Also I am estatic to see how well Jack is doing.
I notice the blck cauldron is empty. Might I suggest filling it up with sugar-free chocolates and candies. You must make sure the sweetening ingredent is manitol or sorbitol (candies with nutrasweet won’t have the same effect!!!) For added fun, hide the toilet paper!!
Awesome decorations !
Last year the odometer in my SUV was approaching 66,666.6 miles in October !
What timing….I took a picture of it when it was all 6′s and texted the pic to some friends with “007 does Halloween”.
(My SUV is nicknamed 007 cause it’s a 2007, and I just dropped the 2.)
Laura, Stick some triple 6′s into your lovely decor !
Freak them out more !
*
Give Jack a smooch and a hug for me…Hope he’s still doing well !
Ooooh! Scary!
Terrifying, ain’t it?
I shit myself…
LOL!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!
I thought you would, you devil worshipper!!
OMG you are kidding me. What the Hell is wrong with these people? Your display is incredible my dear.
Thank you. And Satan thanks you (I guessing here.)
OMG I LOVE IT !!! I wish I lived closer, I would BEG you to do our decorations. You are FABULOUS! Love it!
I really am. HA!! Also modest.
AAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHhhahhahahahahahahhahahahhahahahaooooohhhhhoohhwwwwwwowooowoowowowooaahahahahahhahahahahowoowowoaooaoaoaoaagaagahaahahahahhhaahhahahahh Love the shoes… ahhahahhahhahahhapooohohohohoohooogagagagagoaoaahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahhaah
They came off a dead hooker. Ooops, maybe I said too much…
OK, the No Brains comments are hysterical. Almost lost my breakfast on that one. LOLOLOLOLOLOL. fer realz.
It’s factual too.
Those who have no talent are always jealous of the brilliant ones, and on account of their own inadequacy complex tend to harass those they feel inferior to. Think of their request to “tone it down” a compliment to your skill and eye for decorating.
I do! And you are so right. They are extremely jealous of my talent and awesomeness. That’s what I tell myself anyway.
Poor zombies. Not a brain in sight.
I literally spit out my Coffee on that one… Good Form Laura. Good Form!
Thank you.
*bows* Not worthy!
Totally freaking awesome! you out did yourself!
Psssttt… yes Christianity was based on a pagan religion, remind those bitches when it “Christ”mas! Fucking PAGAN bitches!!!!
Girl, you can’t talk sense into them, unless it’s with a 2 x 4 with a nail in it.
As the chairman, and only member, of the “Office Halloween Decoration Award” committee, you are hereby notified as winner of our annual contest.
We have no money for prizes – or even a certificate – so you have our recommendation of celebrating your win with Gin.
BUT…BUT I WANT FREE SHIT!!
I know some poeple like that. They are very sad and unhappy folks. Always looking for the “BAD” in things. Your work is beautiful and I hope you enjoy your Holiday.
There’s candy! What’s not to enjoy?
Wow, the spider is almost lost in all the WHOREdom. Well done. Now if anyone complains, say “What, are they afraid of the WHORE? They should be used to it.”
You just KNOW they’re used to that.
Stone the spider whore to death with Circus Peanuts and Smarties!!!
YES!!!
You are such a genius. Truly, you have missd your calling in life.
I’ve missed a lot of callings, but sadly not many for supper.
Love the display. It is a virtual “birdie finger salute” to those with no taste. I will admit the assemblage of inadequate penises put it over the top for me.
YES! The “fingers.” No one has complained about the “peni” YET.
Imagining that conversation makes me laugh.
“The peni have to go.”
They’re so fake it’s ridiculous.
There’s going to be more? I can’t wait.
Unless the Fire Marshall shuts me down.
I wish the whore-hat had little devil horns coming out of the top.*
*First time in my life I’ve ever put those words together in that order!
HAHAHA! There’s always a first on FMFM.
Zombies would be hungry in my office as well…
They’d all starve up in an office I bet.
LOVE IT! Glad you “toned it down” correctly.
Every holiday is pagan… get a grip people.
Ugh. These people are clueless.
That Bunch o’B*tches just can’t stand your AWESOMENESS!
I.LOVE.IT.
They really can’t.
OHHHhhhhhh Good Lord, It’s that time of year again. When you get to express yourself with absolutely fab decor. You get better every year my dear.
I just embezzle from the Christmas decorating fund every year.
Christmas is good, Sunshine Club is even better. Those sick people really don’t need the cards and flowers.
Ha! Yeah!
Some people just dont know how to enjoy life and have fun. You are definitely not one of those people. Nice Job!
Thanks! I try to have fun, even in HELL.
Beyond awesome! I like the Satan tree.
Thanks! The Evil Evergreen (err white.)
I am so sure, that these pic do your flair NO Justice. I wish I could see it in person. I’ll bet it is breathtaking. I look forward to future endevours. BTW I really like the spiders everywhere. Offspring I’m assuming.
That’s it, it’s breathtaking!!
Man, that spider gets around.
Because it’s a WHORE.
The funny thing is that after I wrote about how the spider gets around, I was trying to revise the Spiderman lyrics so it was all about “SpiderWhore”. Unfortunately, I was still hungover and couldn’t make it work. Still, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Does whatever a Spider Whore can.
Exactly!
Why the hell do they even BOTHER telling you to tone it down? That’s like waving a red cape at a raging bull, for goodness’ sake.
Not that you’re a bull or anything horny like that.
I’m a Taurus. The sign, not the car. Beep beep.
Make sure you take your blender in next week to make circus peanut and gin smoothies–the perfect color for Halloween.
Um yum.
Satan’s Spawn. That’s what you are. I smell a write-up in your future. Oh oh, that wouldn’t be smart. Now that package of chicken paws will come in handy for your revenge!
That’s what my crazy papaw called me!
What the hell happened to America and free speech!! What the hell that you can’t even celebrate Halloween because some dimwit with a 12 IQ thinks Satan is gonna get them. Shit!
I adore your display and your spirit!! Vive la rébellion!!
Ole! lol
YEAH!!
You can usually find pig or cow brains at the Mexican markets. Bring em in on the big day put em in a bowl. Just sayin’.
Ooooooooo good idea.
Ok- I knew about whore shoes and whore boas- but had never heard of a whore hat. Thanks for the education!
That’s what I do here. Educate.
Whore zombie spider, eh? Tribute to Stacey Keibler, perhaps?
THAT WHORE!!
Want me to send you some of my witch/pagan themed books I have to put under that tree? I have a nice small sliver cup with a pentagram on it that would look great with the spider.
Also I am estatic to see how well Jack is doing.
Ha! Make their heads explode……then YES send them ASAP! HAHAH!
Jack is doing wonderful. I’m going to try to get another video up date this coming week.
I notice the blck cauldron is empty. Might I suggest filling it up with sugar-free chocolates and candies. You must make sure the sweetening ingredent is manitol or sorbitol (candies with nutrasweet won’t have the same effect!!!) For added fun, hide the toilet paper!!
Ha! I usually voodoo curse any candy put out. I sometimes have to use the bathroom, and God knows they’re stinky enough.
Awesome decorations !
Last year the odometer in my SUV was approaching 66,666.6 miles in October !
What timing….I took a picture of it when it was all 6′s and texted the pic to some friends with “007 does Halloween”.
(My SUV is nicknamed 007 cause it’s a 2007, and I just dropped the 2.)
Laura, Stick some triple 6′s into your lovely decor !
Freak them out more !
*
Give Jack a smooch and a hug for me…Hope he’s still doing well !
He’s doing great thanks.
The 6′s will have them calling in a preacher. Ha!
You’re a credit to Pagans around the world but let’s try to not take Satans’ name in vain so often.
Ha! So sorry.