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There are only 63 shopping days until Christmas. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Christmas will be here before you know it so I think I’m going to do a series on here of gift-giving suggestions. I’m good at gift-giving, it’s like one of my superpowers.

This is for any full-of-shit family member or friend on your list:

You’re welcome.

44 Comments
 

44 Responses to There are only 63 shopping days until Christmas.

  1. Jeffro says:

    I’m sure colons everywhere are bowing in your general direction even as we speak!

  2. Terri the Terror says:

    8 gallons in 30 minutes??? What I thought was a typo in the last sentence might actually just be poor grammar–to a clothes could be to your clothes. blech.

  3. Tammy says:

    Thanks for the great gift idea! I wasn’t sure what to get the assholes on my list. Do you think they come in bulk? You should totally get some for the bunch of bitches..

  4. Damn…I hope they have a special on bulk orders.

  5. Mrs. Who says:

    Oh-oh-oh. Look-look-look. Damn-damn-damn. The perfect gift for my principal.

  6. Jan says:

    Love the “bring unpleasant sensations to a clothes” towards the end. They sound like the perfect people to send one’s unpleasant friends and relations to.

  7. Sophia says:

    And 4 people have bought it?????

  8. Jess says:

    I know people that need this, but I’m afraid there would be nothing left after they finished, which makes it a perfect gift idea.

  9. Dobermom says:

    Links to “enjoy” – Poop transplants. Now the colon cleanse. ‘Nuff said.

  10. OctoberMoon says:

    I could buy these for my entire family…FACT! I could buy these for so many people I know… wait .. it may be cheaper to just go to school and learn how to do this…I would Soooooooooooo enjoy it!

  11. Tink says:

    This would be a perfect gift for several folks I know…..Shit.. I hope I dont get one…

  12. Erinyes says:

    What a shitty present.

  13. Timbo says:

    Is this just a variation on waterboarding?

  14. Princess says:

    Yeah! Thanks for the countdown….That was a reality slap in the face..Damn. What is that ? like 4 pay cheques? Damn.

  15. Cinder says:

    I know this is off track but I was just thinking bout Mr. Jack. How is he doing? Great Im Sure…

  16. untbunny says:

    Daaaamn! Nothing like having a hose shoved up the ass to have eight gallons of water pressure wash the inside of the colon. Can you image the explosive diarrhea required to rid the body of EIGHT GALLONS of water and shit?! How could one really relax with explosive diarrhea? And in an office?

  17. Jena says:

    I wonder if that is something that could keep on giving? Or the GC be re-gifted?

  18. Not gonna lie. I’m a little mad at your for mentioning the C word.

  19. SB Smith says:

    How to destroy a huge portion of your immune system. They say that 80% of your immune system is in your GUT….meaning the right kind of gut bacteria. (I take pro-biotics to keep that in balance…you just never know).

    This would flush out whatever you had going on in there that might have been beneficial.

    HOWEVER, I would happily give it to an in-law who was a little too full of themselves !

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