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More shitty phone pics while I think about a naked Eric Northman. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I just found out today that the new season of True Blood starts this Sunday. Now I am so giddy that I can’t even think about writing an entry. So instead of just not blogging like a normal person, I’m posting shitty random pics from my iPhone like the attention whore I am. Did you know I have an iPhone? Well, I do. And did you know that Alexander Skarsgård once wrote me a love letter? Well, he did. Kind of.

First here are some pics from some of the weird-ass restaurants I went to:

I think this represents the USC Gamecocks beating the Florida Gators and Clemson Tigers. Or it could just be two roosters with a hose. I'm not an art scientist.

This was from a dive on Seewee Island. It wasn't even Christmas. GREAT seafood, even though their decor was pretty rednecky.

I went to Staples one morning and this happened:

There is no lake or water around. I took it as an omen and bought a bunch of shit I didn't need.

BEST. RETURNED . MAIL. EVER. It made my day:

"RETURN TO SEND!! THIS MF'R DOESN'T LIVE HERE!!"

Richelle mails me random things at work:

And don't think I won't need this one day. Oh, and look at that beautiful hand model hand!

What I put on my manager’s desk at Easter:

She was pissed that I bit them. Oops.

Fin.

49 Comments
 

49 Responses to More shitty phone pics while I think about a naked Eric Northman.

  1. Erinyes says:

    That first pic? Cocks? Hose spurting? Some artist needs to see a psychiatrist.

  2. Jennifer says:

    “THIS MF’r DOESN’T LIVE HERE!” LOL!!

  3. Ryan Michelle says:

    JUST FOUND OUT? where have you been girl. we been counting down the MONTHS! mmmmm Naked Eric…….

  4. Princess says:

    I will be Chloroforming my kids every Sunday evening. Maybe even the Hub.

    • Laura says:

      Oh I refuse to go anywhere or answer the phone even though I record it too.

      • SB Smith says:

        Not recording them cause I buy the season dvds. BUT !…don’t call me, speak to me, speak aloud in the room for any reason.
        Stay.
        Away.
        Maybe I need this sign:
        “Keep Back 500 Feet”

        I’m a Bill Compton fan, myself.

        Anyone else have satellite tv, so you can watch it again 2 more times each Sunday ? (Between HBO East and West channels, and both of them running the Sunday episodes twice)

        Hey !…I’ve been enjoying watching The Borgias, too. (SHO)
        Jeremy Irons is having fun portraying Pope Alexander VI. The most corrupt pope in Catholic hustory.

  5. AAlex says:

    That Richelle! She is very perceptive isn’t she. HA!

  6. Jaxx says:

    “My Butt Hurts! WHAT?

    Hysterical….

  7. Tad says:

    That pix of you at the bottem is RAD! We always love to “see” u!. Beautiful. Made my day!

  8. Yabu says:

    Too funny. Seriously, I know a guy who was arrested for contraband (one joint). He opened his wallet and pulled out a Monopoly GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card and handed it to the cop. Didn’t work.

    Bwahahahah. True story. I was with him.

    Just for laughs, I still keep one in my money clip, right next to my CCH. I kid you not.

    • Laura says:

      I’m carrying mine with me too!

      • Cheryl Lundgren says:

        We got married in Las Vegas in 1970. Yeah we’re dinosaurs but we were hippies once. At the City Hall when my husband to be had to pull out his ID out of his pocket about 4 joints fell on the counter. We were seriously stoned. He casually just scooped them up and put them back in his pocket. The clerk didn’t even flinch. Wonder what would happen these days? Probably 14 cops would leap on you like a bum on a baloney sandwich.

  9. Jena says:

    You rock that last pic! So innocent and sweet looking…. so deceiving! I do like it!

  10. Jena says:

    GORGEOUS HAIR!!!! Im jealous!!!

  11. Dr. Cynicism says:

    Okay, so the decor in those fine eating establishments is amazeballs. In that first pic, I’m imagining that the good ol’ Georgia Bulldogs are waiting behind the fire truck to pounce on all of em. Secondly, I’m so frickin glad I found your blog — it was recommended by a friend. Alexander Skarsgård to be precise. Okay, no, not all at, that’s total bullshit. But that would have been cool.

  12. MorningGlory says:

    My phone takes shitty pics, too. My phone wrote the manual on shitty pics. Seriously. And I do have a real camera, one that takes decent (although not great) pics. But I can’t find it. I distinctly remember picking it up off my desk one day and saying to myself “Self, you should put this somewhere safe so you can find it when you need it”. So I did. And I haven’t been able to find it since. Story of my life.

    I love the first pic. I lived in SC for a few years, and always wondered at the thought process that was involved in choosing Cocks as the state school mascot. Really?

    • Laura says:

      Through my years here I have given so many friends that live in other states t-shirts that say “Love Them Cocks” and “Can’t Beat Our Cocks.”

  13. Alison says:

    Man, you’d better keep that get outta jail card handy. I’d be worried about the prison grrlz being all over you with that hair and those model-y hands. I guess you could always use your bunny-ass biting skills to protect yourself.

  14. lotta joy says:

    Today is my last post in the series of abuse. It also depicts THE MOMENT I knew I was ready, and able, to KILL another person. It was life changing.

    The photo of the roosters wearing firefighter helmets would have received a few questions from me and my husband though…..After years on the fire department….we’d certainly be curious.

  15. I think you’re a great art scientist.

  16. My word, but even with an iPhone camera you look beautiful.

    BITCH!!!!!!! ;)

  17. Larry says:

    I have a “Get Out Of Hell Free” card.

    http://getoutofhellfree.com/

    I thought at first you said you were thinking about Eric Cartman naked and I was starting to worry about you.

  18. Cheryl Lundgren says:

    I think for Christmas you should buy your boss a sense of humor. That was seriously funny! Love the bitten bunnies.

  19. Jess says:

    I read your post really, really fast, had a shot of scotch and feel as though I’m at Cannes. Not only do I have a buzz, I feel cultured.

  20. I love that Easter bunny gag. I like even better that you made it come to life. You are a hilarious genius.

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