2011 | Fetch My Flying Monkeys

Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives

— Laura

From the yearly archives: 2011

I really hope the Lexus people don’t start putting goats in their commercials.

By Laura On January 21, 2011 · 38 Comments

I had to shop for another alarm clock because the one I have seems to have taken a beating lately because I suffer from insomnia and when I do sleep, it always seems to be right before the alarm goes off and I’m not a happy camper and it mysteriously ends up on the [...]

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Government assassins sometimes have to joke around at work to break up the monotony of assassinating and shit. I mean, that’s what I’ve been told anyway.

By Laura On January 20, 2011 · 35 Comments

Me: “…and blah, business stuff, blah, more business stuff, blah.”

Guy: “And your title is?”

Me: “Supreme Ruler of the World and All that is East, West, North, and South of the Milky Way.”

Guy: -

Me: “Hello?”

Guy: “I need to put down your title.”

Me: “Queen of [...]

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You’ve got to always remember the good times in life, especially the times you opened a can of whoop ass on someone deserving. Especially then.

By Laura On January 19, 2011 · 65 Comments

When I was in the fifth grade we had a gym class that was combined with the six graders. I remember one day our gym teacher had us all sitting on the gym floor. She told us to sit there quietly and she’d be back in a bit. I was talking with a few of [...]

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I bet Eva Braun put up with this kind of shit too.

By Laura On January 18, 2011 · 34 Comments

I got an iPad when they first came out because I’m douchey like that and I have been loving it ever since. The only thing I didn’t like was the name “iPad” so I’ve always referred to it as my iKillerRobot. I love my iKillerRobot. Now J is too anti-Apple to have an iPad so [...]

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Links to Enjoy

Moth.

BIRDS!

Andrew Knapp Photos.

Pot Noodles.

The Hyena Handlers of Nigeria.

Rest in fucking pieces, Mr. Darcy.

Rescued!

Wake Up!

Hitler's Home Movies.

Adopted!

Subway Surfer.

MC Mom.

Is Your Girlfriend a Horse?

Now I want to go to Iceland.

AYA!

Karaoke Hitler.

Wake up! They see us!

Wasted.

How a Gas Nozzle Knows When To Shut Off.

A Yelp Review left for Walter Palmer's Dental Practice.

Sleeping Guy Gets Twizzlered.

Birds in Watercolor.

When Taunting Goes Wrong.

Google Sheep View.

3 year old girl explain the complexities of childbirth in 4 seconds.
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I really hope the Lexus people don’t start putting goats in their commercials.

Government assassins sometimes have to joke around at work to break up the monotony of assassinating and shit. I mean, that’s what I’ve been told anyway.

You’ve got to always remember the good times in life, especially the times you opened a can of whoop ass on someone deserving. Especially then.

I bet Eva Braun put up with this kind of shit too.

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