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Wherein I try to force you to look at my weekend photos. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

Saturday was cold and rainy and while most people were in malls doing their Christmas shopping, I decided to go do an outdoor activity because that’s how I roll. By the way, I haven’t done any of my Christmas shopping yet, but that’s okay because the liquor store down the street is open until 10:00 p.m. Christmas Eve and that’s where I am doing all of my one-stop shopping again this year. If you are my friend, and you don’t drink, you are dead to me. Well, at least until after the holidays.

Anyway, I went to The Center For Birds of Prey in Charleston this weekend. Actually, my posse and I went. Correction. Half of my posse went because the other half went MIA last week with the flu or malaria or syphilis or something. The Center takes in injured and sick raptors (some seasons over 300), nurses them back to health and then releases them back into the wild, they also have a breeding program. They keep raptors that cannot be released due to being handicapped, and ones thrown out of breeding programs, and they are exhibited in all their glory to educate the public. These magnificant creatures will spend their lives at the center in the best aviaries, with some becoming members of the Flight Demostration Squadron. I just made that title up by the way, because that’s how I roll. I make shit up.  

Now look at my pictures. 

 

 

 

85 Comments
 

85 Responses to Wherein I try to force you to look at my weekend photos.

  1. Jennifer says:

    OH MY GOD HOW BEAUTIFUL!! You go to the cooolest places!!

  2. Heather says:

    WOW!! What’s in that owl’s mouth?

    • Laura says:

      Contrary to popular belief it is not a Cheese Doodle. It is a piece of meat the handler gave him. If that owl ate Cheese Doodles I would have stolen him because then he would hunt Cheese Doodles for me.

  3. Bumble Bee says:

    What fabulous pictures.. you must have been really close. OMG, FABULOUS! I wanna be a substitute in your posse.. if someone is sick, Ill go instead……

    • Laura says:

      The handlers came right up to you. I had to resist the strong urge to pet them because I didn’t want to spend the rest of my weekend in an Urgent Care getting sutured up.

      You can join the posses for $10,000.

  4. Princess says:

    I love these pictures. I agree with Jennifer* you do go to really cool places. Beautiful

  5. Tad says:

    Can any of these birds be trained to attack? Like when the BOB’s come out into the parking lot at night, they can swoop down and “BAMB” … Done! They are some big ass birds. Scary.

  6. Sara says:

    Is that a buzzard? How cool!

  7. Hoody Hoo says:

    I WANT THAT OWL! He can live with me and ride on my (well-padded) shoulder and I will carry a pocket full of mice just for him! (because people don’t understand why you have a pocket full of mice otherwise…)

    • Laura says:

      HA!

      I have been becoming OBSESSED with the coolness of owls lately. There they have an area of nothing but owls! Like 30 some species and they were all nothing but cool.

  8. Force? FORCE? Hell, you’d have to force us NOT to look. These are beautiful :)

  9. QueenBee says:

    I want an owl too! A royal owl! I just watched a movie last night about a guy who DID carry dead mice in his pocket….. hmmmmm….
    The pictures are great- good for you, staying away from the mall!

  10. The Nickster says:

    This post is for the birds. Damn…I just cracked myself up. This really is an epic post though, because everyone loves pictures of homeless birds. I am sending you some of the tent camp outside of town shortly.

  11. Jo says:

    My boss is a pastor, and a hawker. I barely batted an eye when I found a bag of small dead birds in the church freezer, figuring they were his. (Although I did ask him just to make sure) I should mention the Cheez Dooddle thing to him.
    I’ve mailed my check for $10,000 to be part of the posse. Will I get a certificate proving my status?

    • Laura says:

      As soon as the check clears.

      Ooo you should go take pictures when he works him. They are so awesome.

      • Jo says:

        Yes, they are totally awesome. Sometimes he brings them to work with him, and I get all hypnotized watching them.
        Except for the time he turned one loose in the sanctuary and it didn’t want to come back. Then I was just laughing.

  12. Yabu says:

    I loves me some Raptors…yes I do, unless they are eyeballing Stretch. Magnificent creatures they are. I was once at the San Diego Zoo when they fed their Raptors, and it was unbelievable how the birds feed. They are very efficient. Those fuckers will kill and tear their prey apart in seconds. Then they eat.

    I would love to have a Falcon, but then I’d need a horse to take it hunting, and I can’t do that here. I could be a “Christopher Boyce”, but I could never sell out my country.

    I go to Reelfoot lake in TN on occasion to watch Bald Eagles fish. Very damn cool. They don’t dive; they glide right over the water, and never miss.

    Great pictures…I loves me some birds of prey. Always have, always will.

    • Laura says:

      They are definitely the BOSS of birds, and so interesting to watch. Like I said, I am starting to become obsessed with owls lately and J has a lot out where he lives. Here at the lake (Murray) we have Bald Eagles and they will even steal the fishermen fish off their lines! Bald Eagles don’t give a fuck.

      • Yabu says:

        Owls are way tool cool. I have several in the neighborhood, I’ve seen ‘em. HUGE, and bad to the bone. If I hear ‘em hooting, and they do hoot, I’ll take Stretch out at night when he does his business. I think I told you about my friend whose Doxie had a fateful encounter with one. The Doxie was too big to fly away with, but she died from the wounds. Damn owl was trying to eat her in the back yard. Anyway, unfortunately, the owl met the buck-shot, but it was too late for the dog.

        I saw one the other night that had a least a tree or four foot wingspan. I’m talking HUGE.

        Owls have night eyes.

        • Laura says:

          Nature is scary as hell. I’ve told you about a hawk going after Jack when he was a puppy. He could have been carried him off if I hadn’t been there before the strike. That would have been horrifying.

          • Yabu says:

            I know what you mean…Stretch has had several hawk encounters. Scared the shit out of me. Those red-tails get big.

          • Laura says:

            That red-tail let out a shriek as it was diving and had to suddenly swoop back up when it saw me…almost bust an ear drum.

          • Yabu says:

            I know what you mean, I’ve heard it before. Death from above. I seriously scope it out when Stretch and I are on patrol. I don’t think they would make a go of it if I’m around, but you never know. Raptors are beautiful, and they are bad, and good.

          • Laura says:

            They are magnificent creatures.

  13. Ah, buzzards. Just the accessory for Holiday Voodoo, eh Laura?

  14. Jess says:

    There’s a nesting pair of Mexican Eagles that live by my house. They’re something to see, although the neighbor has learned a tough lesson about letting his chickens run free. The ironic part is that he was the person that told me about the Mexican Eagles. I guess I’ll have to draw him a map.

  15. Curtal Friar says:

    Awesome pics. I’ve always liked raptors, and have taken my son to several shows or demonstrations featuring those types of birds.

    Now, what you need to do, is get a set of raptors, hawks, maybe, and train them to seek out and attack bitches. Then, you could take them to work with ya and whenever the BOB starts to act up, you simply send out da boids.

    • Laura says:

      While I am on horseback right? ‘Cause like Yabu, I wanna be on horseback, perhaps in some kind of ninja outfit.

      • Curtal Friar says:

        Well, it might be a little too challenging trying to get the horse into your office building.

        Otherwise, cool idea with the horse and ninja outfit.. And taking your horse through the maze of cubicles (assuming y’all have those) in search of bitches to loose your raptors upon might be really fun.

        Hmm….methinks you need a whip to go with it, so every so often you can have the horse rear up while cracking the whip for effect. And if the whip just happens to land across the shoulders of a bitch, well, that’s just how it’ll have to be.

  16. The falcon and the snow woman? Selling mailroom secrets to the sheriff’s rebel forces?

    Amazing animals and wonderful pictures!

    wanderoke.blogspot.com

  17. Meredith says:

    Your weekend was tres cooler than mine….

    On an up note, I MUST ship a Christmas present to a godchild this week, so guess who’s Louisiana care package will actually leave my fucking trunk & be making it’s way to the East??? I’ll send you a tracking number so you’ll know I’m not a package tease again. ;)

    As for your Christmas shopping, it sounds almost like mine.

    • Laura says:

      HAHA! IF this package is not imaginary and if it’s not ticking, I will send you an SC package and I promise to leave the Palmetto Bugs and skeeters out.

  18. Fluffy says:

    “I am tired of these mutha-falcon vultures on this mutha-falcon grassland!” — Samuel L Hawkson :)

  19. Jan says:

    Ooo, raptors! The dinosaurs of the sky! LOVE them! Boy that owl looks like he’s just waiting for someone to put a finger within his reach, doesn’t he? If I had an owl I would take him around to all the people that I hate (long list) and tell them that he was tame and that they could pet him, and then he’d bite their fingers off and I’d laugh.

  20. Bitterroot says:

    I need a turkey vulture. I shall call him ‘Horus’, and he will sit on an ornate raptor-throne above my desk and feed on the souls that come to me expecting actual work be performed on Mondays. His talons and razor-sharp beak will rend flesh from bone of those so-called ‘co-worker’ sonsabitches that offend my senses. Or perhaps he shall attack at my whim, merely for my amusement, when I tire of their banal water-cooler banter.

    Horus! FEED, my precious… FEED on the vermin that nest in the corners and cubicles! FEED on the HR pencil pushers! FEED on the benefits whore who fucked up my insurance deduction and left me with the option of paying a lump sum or dropping my healthcare coverage! In fact, START with her and BRING ME HER EYES!!

  21. Fluffy says:

    I actually was kind of waiting for a photoshop of a velociraptor in one of the pictures. No pressure! (Clever girl!) :)

  22. Liz says:

    Beautiful birds and great photos. Have you thought of dumping the BOBs and become a professional photographer?

    PS – We have several places here in Wisconsin to see raptors. Two teenagers stole an owl recently from one(sonsabitches) but Dakota was returned safely. They kids claimed he flew away shortly after they took him. Too bad he didn’t peck their eyes out first. This owl cannot be returned to nature and has become the ambassador for the center he’s at.

    • Laura says:

      Ahh, everybody with a digital camera fancies themselves a photographer, didn’t you know that? Seriously, I just point and hope for the best. But thank you.

      Those kids are assholes. But you really should go see the raptors and help support them. I’m going to become a sponsor there I think.

  23. Ahhhh! Look at their evil eyes and their jerky beaks that want to eat my face!!! Still pretty fucking cool though.

  24. I have a respectful fear of birds, there’s something so beak-y and talon-y about them.

  25. Lynne says:

    Shazam, those are some good-looking birds. I am very partial to owls myself – they just look like they KNOW things about you and not necessarily the good stuff. There are several in my neighborhood that I see late at night when I’m walking my dog and they always give me goosebumps.

  26. SickPosse says:

    Get one good STD and all of a sudden, we can’t go on a trip. LOL
    Looks like fun and once all my STDs are gone, maybe we can all go

  27. Roket Man says:

    Very cool! Maybe you should suggest training the raptors to hunt down and shred whores and releasing them downtown……release the raptors, the whores are already running around loose…… and I mean that in all it’s connotations. OOH, look….Roket’s using multi-syllable words!

  28. Hunt Johnsen says:

    You got to watch out for those turkey vultures – they’re not to be trusted. I flew into a bunch one time in my glider, figuring that they knew where the lift was – they’re lazy too – and just as I got there they all started flapping their wings – no lift at all. I think they suckered me in just for grins – I barely made it out of the gulch at treetop level.
    Redtails on the other hand, can be depended on.

  29. So I’m a little disappointed because when said “raptor,” I thought you meant velociraptor. Those would have been cool pics.

    But I really like the owl. Probably safer than a velociraptor, too.

    • Laura says:

      Only because of size.

      It would have been soooo cool to see velociraptors, though as Hollywood has pointed out, shit like that always ends badly. But I would have paid extra.

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