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Keeping y’all informed and updated. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I wanted to quickly update you all on my friend Richelle’s racist stalker since it seems like all may be settled for now. Thank. God. If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about check HERE and HERE. For those who do, the racist fucker had charges brought against Sean for breaking his nose and eye socket, but those charges were dropped! And it turns out the dude had a long record ranging from domestic violence to grand theft and was on probation. Yes, probation. So you know what happened to him, right? The probation was revoked and he has to serve time! He is, after all, NOT Lindsay Lohan. FIVE witnesses showed up in court who were at WalMart and witnessed his slurs and threats the second time he did it. That is when Sean beat his face in. So yay! We’re all relieved here. And yes, Richelle will be notified when he’s released.

Now for even better news. Sean and Richelle are dating! That’s right. They’re like Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. Except Richelle’s not on crack and Sean has a chin. But they’re just like this:

(Richelle’s going to kill me. Now I need a bodyguard. I wonder if George Clooney’s available…)

 

Oh, and P.S. Richelle wanted me to thank everyone for their kind words of support through the whole ordeal with the psycho.

87 Comments
 

87 Responses to Keeping y’all informed and updated.

  1. Meredith says:

    Excellent news all around! Love it when citizens actually stand up for the victim instead of just blowing it off.

    Will Richelle be notified when this scum gets released?

    Love “The Bodyguard”-esque outcome for Richelle & Sean.

    So much win!

  2. Yabu says:

    Good deal all the way around…I love a good outcome.

  3. Jennifer says:

    YAY!! I was so happy when I heard the news! And even happier that the two of them are dating!! LOL She IS going to kill you once she sees that video, you know she hates Whitney!! LOL

  4. One Crazed Chick says:

    I’m glad to hear Richelle finally got her a good man. As far as you needing a bodyguard, any would be assailant would have to be the world’s biggest idiot to take you on. But if one does, I want to be a fly to watch you take him down!!

  5. Heather says:

    WAY TO GO! There is some justice in the world!

  6. Ally says:

    Woo-hoo! Excellent news for all concerned. Wishing the two of them a long and happy relationship!

  7. MorningGlory says:

    Glad to hear that more scum is off the streets. It’s great that he has to go back and serve his time for violating his probation; will he be prosecuted for stalking and threatening Richelle? IMHO, that should be separate and he should have to serve EVEN MORE time for it.

    • Laura says:

      I do believe he is going to be prosecuted seperately on the charges. Even Richelle doesn’t know that yet. The State took over. I get things third-hand. Which, I’m not complaining…as long as he’s locked up, it’s all good.

  8. Karen says:

    Yay for Richelle and Sean!

    And that link over there “Best Friends Playing” is one of the most adorable things I have ever seen!

  9. Yay for prison! Yay for Richel and Sean! Yay for you totally posting their personal life on the interwebs! (That last one is my favourite)

    • Laura says:

      HAHAH! Lemme tell ya something…I never post anything on anyone that I don’t get permission from. Richelle is a bigger attention whore than myself (yes, that’s possible.) She even was all “Take my picture and put it on your site!” What she’s gonna kill me over is comparing her to Whitless Houston. Oh, and that whole sappy, disgusting love song.

  10. Sam I Am says:

    You DO realize George has the new wrestling chick as the girlfriend of the day? Maybe SHE would be your bodyguard? Snaps for Richelle and Sean!

  11. Janie Jones says:

    It’s good to see the good guy(s) win for a change. It’s like a real life fairy tale.

  12. Tink says:

    So happy Richelle is safe, so happy that Sean was protected, so happy that piece of shit is in jail…. most of all.. so happy Sean got the girl… how very sweet. Wish them happiness always….

    • Laura says:

      Ha! Yeah, I bet Sean made all the girls swoon when he took out the dude at WalMart- because there were LOTS of witnesses that heard what the man said.

  13. Larry says:

    I love a happy ending.
    She is still shooting though, right?

  14. oddybobo says:

    Love a good outcome… still wanted to take turns with that racist prick though… just saying.

  15. And Sean is OK with Richelle carrying Justin Bieber’s cardboard baby?

    Glad to hear that shithead was taken care of.

  16. Jan says:

    Excellent news! On both the judicial and romantic fronts! Of course here in the People’s Republic of Washington, poor Sean would probably be the cell right next to the bastard. So well done there.

  17. Jena says:

    Damn allergies making my eyes water and give me goose bumps too!

  18. Roxanne says:

    Justice served, motherfucker!

    And, aww. It was pretty stinkin’ romantic, the breaking of the nose and eye-socket to protect her.

  19. Jena says:

    THAT IA FUCKING AWESOME NEWS!!!!! that he is doing time, witnesses came forward and they are dating!!! No pressure Richelle and Sean!

    P.S. Richelle… guys name Sean (proper spelling) are reliable, dependable, old school cool. I should know, Im married to one!

  20. Jena says:

    Sean…. GOOD FUCKING JOB! Woot! you rock!

  21. Kim says:

    This is awesomeness of awesome proportions. All around.

  22. Elphaba says:

    I love it when dirtbags get their just desserts. Karma is slow, but she’s a hard nosed bitch.

    I made it through a couple of bars of music in that video and had to shut ‘er down. Blech. Sean and Richelle are soooooo much cooler than those two. Very glad there’s a er…happy ending…to this crazy story! Also, I’m sure that Justin Beiber will understand, if not be relieved! =D

  23. cricket says:

    Whoot, whoot! Wonder if it could go to federal charges? Then he’d get some special cell friends.

    Tell Sean that he has to find easier on the knuckle ways to pick up girls. Heh. Though with a gun toting girlfriend he’s more than likely done with picking up girls until she says otherwise.

    Seriously glad it turned out well. A slice of good news is always welcome.

  24. Jeffro says:

    This “happy ending” beats the massage parlor type all to hell. There’s no evil stepmother, a poison apple, glass slippers or dwarves involved, are there?

  25. nightfly says:

    Woo-hoo! Decency wins.

  26. kim says:

    awwww sooo cute! (mostly at the last part, rest is good stuff too though) wait sean doesn’t resemble bieber does he because that totally changes how i read the story…

  27. LauraB says:

    Does it get ANY better than this?! No, no it does not. Well, maybe if they get a custom cake topper showing Sean and Richelle like some Harlequin Romance couple…

    Seriously, a great way to end my week. Thx!

  28. Roket Man says:

    Way to go, Sean…..and the authorities for agreeing to let Richelle know when the jerk is getting out so Sean can even out his face for him!

  29. And the eye socket?! That’s awesome!

    I’m so glad that your friend is ok and this guy will be locked up for a while. Let’s hope some big, scary and ugly guy makes him his bitch!!

  30. I am so happy to hear that that fucktardic excuse for pig offal is behind bars.

    I can say offal here, right?

    My best to Richelle and Sean!!

  31. Tad says:

    I surely hope that the bad man says som-in som-in while he is in jail and nobody will eva eva have to worry bout him com-in out. thing will be taken care of… just say-in….I hope he is a mouthy bad man while he is in the house…. Yep!

  32. Princess says:

    I absolutely love Fairytale endings……

  33. Nicole says:

    Justice and a twu wuv ending. Don’t get much better than that.

  34. ManhattanMaven says:

    What a FABULOUS outcome and a great way to end what was a really SUCKY week in the stock market. I really needed that!! YAY!

  35. zonker says:

    Well, I wouldn’t count on Thelma as a bodyguard…

    http://www.pidjin.net/2011/10/31/whitney-we-have-a-problem/

    Also, very glad to hear that asshole got jail time!

  36. Mrs. Who says:

    Nose AND eye-socket busted? Hero dating the beauteous Richelle? Who needs the Lifetime Channel when we have Laura delivering the romance!

  37. Curtal Friar says:

    Good to see that the fucker’s going to do hard time.

    ‘Twere me, I think I’d have to mosey over to the prison, acquaint myself with some of the biggest, meanest, most vicious looking bastards in the facility and offer them an ongoing supply of cigarettes, or whatever else they want, in exchange for making the bastard’s life behind bars truly miserable.

  38. Erinyes says:

    Too bad Sean doesn’t carry concealed…problem would have been solved for good.

  39. lynn says:

    It’s been 3 days! Are you ok?

  40. Jo says:

    *sigh* I love a happy ending. This would be even better as a movie if the douchecanoe got accidentally wiped out in a horrific car explosion, though.

  41. Holly says:

    Woot Justice! It’s so nice to see the system working for a change!
    I hope they’ll be very happy :)

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