I was almost killed yesterday and no one cares.
Monday was horrible and not just because it was my first day back to work after a four day food and alcohol binge holiday. No, yesterday was horrible because I was involved in an industrial accident in the mailroom. That’s right. There I was, working away sorting mail that had come in and as I slipped my little [...]
When I was a kid I dreamt of owning an army of killer robots and vaporizing my enemies and taking over the world. I guess I could have also dreamt about wearing a white satin mermaid gown with delicate hand-beading on the sweetheart bodice while doing it. NAH.
I didn’t blog for four days because I was busy alternating between eating and drinking. Then in between all that I was rendered unconscious; only waking up on the couch with the “Say Yes to the Dress” marathon blaring from the television and my dog Jack licking pie crumbs out of my hair. The days went by too quickly and [...]
I was never one to save anything from my childhood. I never saved the plastic dinosaurs I played with for hours and hours and, of course, I never saved any of the little green Army men that were annihilated by the dinosaurs because they were all buried in the yard. I never saved my Creepy Crawler [...]
‘Tis the Holiday Season and all that shit.
So Christmas is going to be here before you know it and like always I haven’t done any shopping even though I tell myself every year I’m going to start in September. The hardest person to buy for is J because he has everything and when I say he has everything I mean he has [...]
Links to Enjoy
- Andrew Knapp Photos.
- Pot Noodles.
- The Hyena Handlers of Nigeria.
- Rest in fucking pieces, Mr. Darcy.
- Wake Up!
- Hitler's Home Movies.
- Subway Surfer.
- MC Mom.
- Is Your Girlfriend a Horse?
- Now I want to go to Iceland.
- Karaoke Hitler.
- Wake up! They see us!
- How a Gas Nozzle Knows When To Shut Off.
- A Yelp Review left for Walter Palmer's Dental Practice.
- Sleeping Guy Gets Twizzlered.
- Birds in Watercolor.
- When Taunting Goes Wrong.
- Google Sheep View.
- 3 year old girl explain the complexities of childbirth in 4 seconds.