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I’m feeling much better, thank you for asking. NOT. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

What the hell, people? I tell you I’m not feeling well, even go to the doctor, and I don’t blog for TWO days AND NOT ONE OF YOU SONSABITCHES ASKED ABOUT ME. I would think by now y’all would know that I don’t blog for money or fame, I blog because I’m a big ol’ attention whore. And apparently part of being a big ol’ attention whore is being delusional enough to think that people on the Internet actually CARE. I don’t know how many times I have reminded you all of this. I finally gave up yesterday and posted that I had been sick on my Facebook. How pathetic is that? Pretty damn pathetic.

 

I know y’all are thinking “Oh my God, she complains all the time about having all these exotic diseases how the hell should we know when she’s actually sick?” And the answer is “Whenever I tell you I am.” I know you get tired of reading about my illnesses but do you know what’s worse than reading about someone’s every ache and pain? Looking at their vacation photos.

 

So we went to Medieval Times in Myrtle Beach South Carolina.

 

 

Medieval Times

 

 

 

We saw lots of fancy horses doing fancy things.

 

 

Medieval Times

 

 

 

 

Medieval Times

 

 

 

We even saw some falconry.

 

 

Medieval Times

 

 

 

Then the knights came out.

 

 

Medieval Times

 

 

 

And they started telling some story about the knights fighting for a King and his whiney-ass daughter, the Princess. Sorry guys, I did not take any pics of the Princess. I did, however lead the chant “Kill the Princess!” even though she wasn’t on the battlefield. I also did not get any photos of the battles because they had a net thingie come down because they actually fought with real weapons and I guess being impaled whilst being on vacation and wearing a paper crown would have been a bummer.

 

We got to meet the knights after the show and I suggested the only thing that could make the show better was for them to perform it naked. We were asked to leave shortly after. Sonsabitches.

 

 

Medieval Times

 

 

 

 

Medieval Times

 

 

 

 

Medieval Times 
39 Comments
 

39 Responses to I’m feeling much better, thank you for asking. NOT.

  1. Larry says:

    I was starting to worry about you. I thought maybe the ear rabies had worked it’s way inward and become brain rabies.
    What’s funny is if I hadn’t seen anything from you this morning I was going to put a comment up on the last post for someone to call Crazy Betty to knock on your door to see if the zombies had gotten you.
    Glad you are feeling better.
    *** Ha! Thank you. ~Laura

  2. Well. I suppose it never occurs to you that your commentariat might also be sick? *cough* Oh, that’s alright, don’t worry about us, we’ll be just fine. *cough*
    Dude, this sinus and respiratory crap going around SC is the worst!
    Thanks for pics of dudes dressed like they stepped outta a bodice-ripper romance novel. I feel better already.
    Remember: Once a King, always a King; but once a Knight is enough.
    *** HA! Well, I hope you are feeling better. And yes, it is awful around here- EVERYONE I know has some kind of upper respiratory thing going on. I blame the pine trees. But I always blame the pine trees. Well, them and the French. ~Laura

  3. Jennifer says:

    OH MY GOD!! The knights are gorgeous!! I would pay extra for a naked show!!
    *** I know, right? I told them that. I even told them I would choreograph their routines. ~Laura

  4. stanley says:

    I’ve seen better knights.
    *** I’ve seen better days. ~Laura

  5. WPDunn says:

    I’m Sorry did you say something?, i was distracted with the awesomeness of flying baby goats.
    *** Flying baby goats? Have you been on cough syrup? ~Laura

  6. Joe the Blog Stalker says:

    I took my wife to the one in Vegas and had to physically drag her away from the knights. Sonsabitches.
    *** HA! Something about the uniforms me thinks. ~Laura

  7. The Other Crazed Chick says:

    Ahhhhhhhh the memories! Those knights are HOT HOT HOT!
    *** Indeed they were. ~Laura

  8. hoodyhoo says:

    I didn’t ask if you were sick because I KNEW you were sick ’cause you and me? We’re like THIS. Besides, you’ve been bitching about your ear infection for awhile, and I’ve never known one of us to actually get BETTER, so I figured it was that.
    *** HAHA! And now it’s Colon Cancer Awareness Month and I’m afraid to even turn on my tv…. ~Laura

  9. Yabu says:

    When I was there, The King and Princess were eating Big Macs on their thrones. I kid you not.
    *** HAHA! During the performance? ~Laura

  10. garnet says:

    I AM glad you’re feeling better and back! Now as for those knights, HUBBA HUBBA.
    *** Thank you, and yes they were. ~Laura

  11. Yabu says:

    Yeap, while the loyal subjects were eating. They probably can’t eat the local fare everyday.
    *** That’s too funny. I would have yelled something at them like, “HEY WHERE THE HELL WAS THERE A MICKEY DS IN DAYS OF YORE, YOU SONSABITCHES?” or something like that. ~Laura

  12. Heather says:

    Ooohhhh, well hellooooo Mister Knights.
    *** I know, right? ~Laura

  13. laughingmom says:

    EXCUSE ME! I’ve been sick too – but still managed to scratch out an entry to my unread blog page – suck it up! (Course since I have no readers – nobody missed me…aww now I feel worse…)
    *** HA! Well, I hope you are feeling better. ~Laura

  14. One Crazed Chick says:

    Wow…looking at your pictures, our knight had killer eyes. Of course he lost so he wasn’t really a killer anymore but that’s another story.
    *** I know, I was so disappointed, but at least the green knight motherfucker got killed! Ha! ~Laura

  15. I love the “come hither, I am a wounded deer in headlights” look on that first knight!
    *** Ha! I know! I think he was frightened of us. I don’t know why… ~Laura

  16. I figured you were either not feeling well, or recuperating from your awesome vacation.
    Either way, I knew there was going to be an epic post, so I forced myself to be patient!!!
    Get better soon!!
    *** Thank you. I feel much better. ~Laura

  17. Sandra says:

    So sorry you were sick with some unnamed exotic illness. Your presence on the Internet was greatly missed…how was that?
    Now on to the good stuff! Did you get the names and numbers of any of those knights? A couple were pretty hawt!
    *** That was perfect! And I really should have gotten their numbers and then sold them here or on Ebay. Dammit. ~Laura

  18. MorningGlory says:

    I have a dear friend whose son worked one summer at Medieval Times,or at least the New Jersey version of the same damn thing. He was a knight. Now he lives in Vegas, and makes movies. At least that’s what he told his mother. HA!
    *** HA! Hmmmm I wonder what kind of movies are made in Vegas.>.~Laura

  19. The Nickster says:

    get well soon.
    ps – the Princess is dating Clooney on the side. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
    **** LIAR!! Your pants are on fire. ~Laura

  20. Curtal Friar says:

    Sorry you were sick, and glad you’re feeling better.
    I figured you were pissed that you had to go back to work after a weekend trip, and just decided not to post anything.
    Oh, and I left a challenge in my latest post for all the bloggers, to post a teenage pic of yourself. If you dare. :D
    *** Oh I will…if I can find one. ~Laura

  21. Erik says:

    I knew that you went to the doctor, but I thought that since the trip was on, you were OK. You know, not sick enough to cancel the trip, you must be feeling better? I can see that I assumed too much.
    Hope you are feeling better and Have a good one!
    *** Thank you! I was better for the trip because I hadn’t started the antibiotics- then when I took them, they had me down for the count and then they’ve been changed. I knew you wanted to know that. ~Laura

  22. rdennis says:

    You were gone? Went on vacation? Man, you really need to update more often and let us know these things!
    Sick? Suck it up buttercup, this is just good practice for the zombie invasion!
    (in reality, it has been so nice up here in the Southern Arctic, with sunshine and warm weather, I have just been enjoying it. Hope you feel better soon, sweet princess)
    (( There, how’s that for sucking up?))
    *** That was pretty good. Next time, start out commenting like that. HA! ~Laura

  23. Jean says:

    The knight on the bottom of your list of YUMMINESS is the YUMMIEST In the land.
    *** He’s a fine hunk of knight indeed. ~Laura

  24. hotpants™ says:

    I get so behind on blogs that I don’t realize when you’re not here. I always have posts from you in my reader. So, there!
    I’m sick again too. I’m so tired of it. I wish someone would come up with a solution for my sinus problems.
    *** I hope you’re feeling better. I wish I COULD come up with a cure. That way I’d be rich beyond my wildest dreams and could carry out my world domination plans. ~Laura

  25. Kim says:

    I am so glad you’re on the road to wellville. Or wellerville. We’re socked with the yellow pollen crap now. I’ve been having the blowtorch headaches which could, indeed, be brain ebola. I think it’s bypassed rabies.
    Very NICE knights. Gee whiz.
    *** Ebola is very painful. I get it occasionally. We haven’t even gotten the yellow pollen yet! I worry what the hell that’s going to bring… maybe just jaundice. ~Laura

  26. Elphaba says:

    You cannot make me feel guilty. I visit your blog every day, and in doing so, I’ve done my part to pay attention to you. I just figured that you were on vacation yet AGAIN (who do you think you are, an Obama?) and that you were too busy to pay attention to lil’ ole us. =D
    Hmmm…I wonder just how authentic those knights are? Do they adhere to the personal hygiene of medieval Britain? If so, I’d much rather look than touch. ;)
    *** They kinda smelled like sweat and horse which was okay because they were sweet. Yes, I was up in their koolaid. ~Laura

  27. AmyLynn says:

    HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
    I figured I needed to yell since you probably lost your hearing from the ear rabies.
    ARE YOU ANY BETTER?
    that is all!
    *** I AM! I yelled because, well, I like yelling. ~Laura

  28. Sugar Free says:

    I’m sorry but I have been too caught up in my own fears of catching the radiation poisoning in the jetstream flowing through Seattle. And this new mole on the side of my boob. And thanks to your blog, I worry about earwigs now. If only I had a delicious fake knight to distract me from all of this…..oh wait. I found some!
    *** OH NOES! You’ll probably grow an extra boob or something from the radiation and you’ll have to buy all new bras. Oh, and if you’re like me, make sure it isn’t a Raisinet or something first before you get a dermatologist to look at it. Just saying. ~Laura

  29. Jenny says:

    Oh, wow….I didn’t even realize you were sick…(….what with you being a hypochondriac and all….) :) :) I’ll try to pay more attention, friend………and I’m with you – naked men, playing with weapons in an arena would be awesome…….
    *** I would pay extra. ~Laura

  30. Cheryl says:

    AWWWWW! I hope you feel better – even an attention whore needs sympathy. And the pictures of hot knights were very much appreciated – should’ve acclerated your healing process as well. Cheers!
    *** It kinda did, but I relapsed on nasty antibiotics. And thank you for the attention AND sympathy. ~Laura

  31. George says:

    uh, feeling better?
    *** Yes, thank you for asking. ~Laura

  32. Holly says:

    I’m glad you had fun, I really wish I was there it looks cool! Is this place the one from the movie cable guy?
    *** YES! Like that. Silly and cool at the same time. ~Laura

  33. Nancy in Iowa says:

    I knew you were sick and miserable, and I even called every hospital in SC looking for you. Then I called every guy in the SC directory whose name begins with J. After that, I decided you had died, but came back here one more time to find out the funeral arrangements.
    BTW, I’m really glad you’re getting better!!!
    *** HA! Thank you. I’m glad I didn’t die too. ~Laura

  34. Nicole says:

    Tasty! And the falcon dude totally looks like he’s about to wale on that falcon.
    I was recovering from a bout of workuss-too-muchuss and I slept through yesterday and the day before. Sorry I didn’t stop in to inquire. I know I should always assume the worst with you. Rabies of some random part or some disease you can catch from a goat… :)
    *** Dude was swinging his bait thingie, but yeah, looks like he’s gonna bat him with it. I was just happy to catch the flying falcomn.Man, they’re fast. Yes, always assume I am knocking on death’s door if I fail to blog during the week. ~Laura

  35. One Crazed Chick says:

    Oh, that yellow stuff was on my car when I got to it after work. I guess that means the trees are really having sex again. Oh, and dude, I’m getting a Dell (lotus pink!!!)
    *** Cool! I mean on the Dell- Boo! the yellow pollen crap. ~Laura

  36. Darla Do says:

    The 3rd one down looks the cutest. Sorry to hear you weren’ t feeling well. Glad you are back!! I was complaining to the the bunch of bitches at work that you hadn’t blogged lately.
    *** HA! Tell them bitches I’m back! ~Laura

  37. The Other Crazed Chick says:

    Your pictures turned out really great.I cant wait to SEE THE REST OF THEM!!! I’m just a little excited about being able to look at all that HUNKINESS on a regular basis…I think I’m going to plaster them on my ceiling… over my bed..I’m just sayin!
    *** HA! just as soon as I get them edited… ~Laura

  38. Tad says:

    Your Monkey stole My Hat! I have been looking everywhere for that damn hat! Looks better on him.
    *** You can’t trust monkeys. ~Laura

  39. mel says:

    Well, glad to see you are better enough to cuss us all out, lol.
    Those men there in those pics? I’ll take the Ginger. The top one. Looks like he could get freaky when required. The other two may be gay.
    *** HAHA! I’ve heard gingers are like that…~Laura

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