Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives

— Laura

So what if I learned all my gang signs at a Star Trek convention, they’re still badass. Yo.

By Laura On January 13, 2011 · 40 Comments

I went back to work Wednesday and I leave for Cape Fear tonight. I’ve had several friends go “Cape Fear? Why are you going to Cape Fear?” And I said “Because it’s Cape Fucking Fear, man.” Then I made a gang sign and they just looked at me sort of blankly and said “What the fuck just happened there?” And I was all “That was a gang sign, man.” And they were all “No it wasn’t. It looked like the Vulcan salute and why do you keep calling me man?” And then I was all “Shut up, I know you are.” And they were all “What?” and then I pointed at something over their shoulder and when they turned to look, I walked off.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, next month my crazy friends and I are going HERE. That’s right; we’ll be on safari in Pine Fucking Mountain, man.

Now here’s a picture that was sent to me of a goat in a sweater:

P.S. J asked me if I thought it was a good idea for me to go on safari what with my history of being “attacked” by wildlife. I told him I’d be okay because I’ve been working on my Jedi Mind Control and he was all “Your what?” and I said “Yeah, I can control people and animals with my mind. I’ve used it on you.” And he was all “What?” And then I showed him and he said “So that’s what that is, I thought you had a bad cramp or something.” And I said “Shut up, I know you are” and then I pointed over his shoulder.

P.P.S. I’ll try to Facebook some photos of my adventures at Cape Fear, so if you haven’t friended me in Facebook, you should…do it now….you want to friend me…right now. Ah Ha! Jedi Mind Control, motherfucker!

40 Comments

40 Responses to So what if I learned all my gang signs at a Star Trek convention, they’re still badass. Yo.

Jennifer says:

January 13, 2011 at 6:08 am

LOL!!! yes..I…shall…friend…you…now…
*** AH HA! Jedi mind control. ~Laura

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Heather says:

January 13, 2011 at 6:32 am

That goat is so cute!! I friended you and I hope you remember to Facebook some photos while you’re in Cape Fucking Fear!
*** I really do suck at social networking, but I will try, man. ~Laura

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Michelle says:

January 13, 2011 at 6:33 am

LOL, You are so crazy! Enjoy your trip, man! Visualize me making ‘gang’ signs, Yo!
*** Yo! Tru dat, man. ~Laura

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lifeshighwy says:

January 13, 2011 at 6:38 am

Rent the zebra van because that looks like the best part.
As far as I know, Vulcans had gangs too, bunch of wild neck pinchers doing math incorrectly with their pointy ears all pierced.
*** Ha! Yeah! How cool to be tooting around in a zebra van eh? ~Laura

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One Crazed Chick says:

January 13, 2011 at 6:39 am

Let J know you’ll have the short window with the driver having full control of the windows. You’ll be safe! LOL And if we see goats, I’ll not hit the button to let the animal in the car! hahahaha
*** GOATSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! ~Laura

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hoodyhoo says:

January 13, 2011 at 6:49 am

I already friended you, so your Jedi Mind Control is also able to warp TIME! Also, I can throw the Spock sign with BOTH HANDS, yo — so I can always keep one hand free for my gat!
*** Yo, true dat. ~Laura

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Mr. Bingley says:

January 13, 2011 at 6:54 am

Oooh! I bet George would go all swooney if you bought him something from the “I Got Slobbered” line of gifts at the Safari Park!
*** YES! I should get him one! You know he’d love it. ~Laura

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Holly says:

January 13, 2011 at 7:04 am

Awesome you have to teach us the ways of the force…just in case you get a concussion and your Jedi mind tricks fail don’t forget to take a net to throw over the animals baying for your blood.
Cute little goat
*** I think I’ll pack a taser instead of a net. ~Laura

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The Other Crazed Chick says:

January 13, 2011 at 7:14 am

I am really looking forward to tonite. Cape fear is not only going to be cool it is going to be COLD! But awesome.and as far as our Safari, I have to agree with “J”. that thought has crossed my mind so I’m sitting on the opposite side of the vehicle and in the back. No open windows for you girlie. Yo!
also, now I understand why you walked away from me the other day. Thank you for that,
That Goat sweater is so f****** cute.
*** Word. Dress warm. HAHA! ~Laura

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Stacy says:

January 13, 2011 at 7:27 am

Cape Fucking Fear is awesome! I loved it!
*** I hope it is. Yo. ~Laura

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Yabu says:

January 13, 2011 at 7:28 am

I’m not sure if they perform at that time of year, but the Florida State University Flying High Circus has been doing months long gigs there for about 50 years…very very cool. I was able to take a trapeze ride and bail into the net, and no, I was not wearing a helmet.
Yo! Tru dat!
*** You dawg, that would be awesome! ~laura

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Jena says:

January 13, 2011 at 7:43 am

Don’t forget your knife. Cute goat!
Sean has Jedi mind control but I’m immune to it. My own powers supersedes ALL. word.
*** Female’s powers are always greater. Word. ~Laura

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LC Aggie Sith says:

January 13, 2011 at 8:02 am

Me friended you long time
I used to be good at the Jedi mind trick, but let’s face it: I embraced the Dark Side a long ass time ago because Jedis can be such wusses. Now I do the Vulcan mind meld, and if the subject (being hubby) is not amiable to it, I use the Vulcan pinch. IT WORKS!!!
*** If all else fails, do the Leatherface Axe Throw. Ha! ~Laura

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cbullitt says:

January 13, 2011 at 8:47 am

Are you sure that goat didn’t steal one of Jack’s sweaters?
I don’t trust them ever since one ate the bottom out of my beer cup at Busch Gardens in Tampa back in the ’70s.
***HAHAHA! I would have liked to have seen that! ~Laura

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Jeffro says:

January 13, 2011 at 9:00 am

Must…friend…Laura…on…the…Facebook…
Hey, wait a second – we’re already FB pals! Your power is pretty stout!
*** Yes! AH HA! ~Laura

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Debbie says:

January 13, 2011 at 9:40 am

I want that goat!
*** Me too! I should use my powers to get one… ~Laura

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Erik says:

January 13, 2011 at 9:41 am

Love the baby goat with a sweater picture.
I wanna go to the Wild Safari Park! That looks like fun. Best we have here in KC is the Cedar Cove Feline Sanctuary. I wanna go and get some pics of the tigers in snow, but since it was zero degress this morning, I may have to wait until it warms up a bit…
**** Oooo yes, tiger in snow shots would be excellent. Go now…. and take photos…. go now…. ~Laura

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Erik says:

January 13, 2011 at 9:42 am

Meant to leave the link:
http://www.saveoursiberians.org/2006/
**** Beautiful! Go…take photos…now. Ha! ~laura

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Boneybutt says:

January 13, 2011 at 9:56 am

Since I’ve traveled with the other crazed chick, I know for a fact if an animal attacks you, she will not assist. She will, however, pull out the video to record all happenings!
*** Oh, I’m aware of that. I’ve heard what she’s done to you. ~Laura

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Brea says:

January 13, 2011 at 10:03 am

Overheard at my office yesterday: “All I know is that Dr. Spock has pointy ears”. I almost lost my mind giggling.
I’m too much of a Trekkie.
I tried to explain that DR. SPOCK is a pediatrician… they wanted to know why there was a pediatrician on a spaceship, when there weren’t any kids on the show.
I give up.
The goat is adorable! Looks like some kind of Varsity Football Team mascot in that eensie sweater!
*** Yeah, I gave up explaining things to people a long time ago. That goat is adorable and needs to be at my house. ~Laura

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Jade says:

January 13, 2011 at 10:35 am

I hope you find the tattooed man you sent to prison years earlier!
*** That sonsabitch. I hope I do too. ~Laura

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rdennis says:

January 13, 2011 at 10:37 am

Cute goat. Bet he’d be delicious!
*** AARRGHH! Do not eat the goat. ~Laura

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Boneybutt says:

January 13, 2011 at 10:46 am

Oh and they’ll allow us to feed the animals. Bound to get good pics of you being attacked if we bribe the animals!
*** I hear you. Just don’t be surprised when you get tossed out and then hear all the car door locks click : ) ~Laura

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Miss Nikki says:

January 13, 2011 at 10:56 am

Yo, I had updog for lunch man… (what’s updog?) Funny, jedi freak you are!
*** Dat what I like to know. Oh my God, it’s just too easy to talk like this. ~Laura

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nightfly says:

January 13, 2011 at 11:41 am

I don’t need to see your word verification…
This is not the comment I’m looking for…
I can go about my business…
*** Ha! ~Laura

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Curtal Friar says:

January 13, 2011 at 11:54 am

LOL @ your gang sign story.
On a totally different subject, I came across a zombie flick I’d never heard of to date, titled “The Horde.” It looks to be a totally kick ass high octane zombie flick that was surprisingly made by the French a year or two ago.
I posted the trailer over at my place, but you can readily find it on youtube as well. Go check it out, I think you’ll like it.
*** OH I must see it! Honestly, I have been digging foreign horror way better than anything we;ve been putting out. ~Laura

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Nancy in Iowa says:

January 13, 2011 at 11:58 am

Cape Fear? Good grief, woman, people DIE there. In boats. Stalked by crazed escapees.
*** I KNOW!!! I’m excited. ~Laura

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karen says:

January 13, 2011 at 12:36 pm

LOL! you crack me up. That goat is just adorable!
*** Yes it is. ~Laura

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CGHill says:

January 13, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Give the goat time enough, and he’ll eat his way out of that damn sweater.
And the expression on his face won’t change in the slightest, I’d bet.
*** HAHA! I am sure you’re right. As usual! ~Laura

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Jan says:

January 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Here’s another cute goat:
http://cheezdailysquee.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/c51cb911-0bf9-45ad-bcc5-b110d48fbab2.jpg
Note the size relative to the guinea pig…
*** OH MY GOD!!! How adorable! ~Laura

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Jena says:

January 13, 2011 at 7:29 pm

The Horde SUCKED big slimy donkey dicks. I kept FFW and finally had to put myself out of my misery. I had the same thought as you. You were warned.
*** Tell us how you really feel. Ha! ~Laura

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The Other Crazed Chick says:

January 13, 2011 at 9:05 pm

What do you mean ‘people DIE there. In boats. Stalked by crazed escapees.” WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT? I NEED TO KNOW. please
*** CAPE FEAR, tattooed psychos I sent to prison years earlier, MAN. ~Laura

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QandleQueen says:

January 13, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Is that a fainting goat?
*** Not that I know of, I think it’s a baby pygmy goat. ~Laura

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Larry says:

January 14, 2011 at 12:44 am

Good, a post. There for a minute I thought the brain rabies had turned you into a zombie. Good to see you are OK.
Have fun at Cape Fear, watch for the tattooed crazy dudes.
*** Thanks! ~Laura

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The Other Crazed Chick says:

January 14, 2011 at 3:57 am

Oh! is that all. I knew about that, I thought this was more recent or something… scared me…He’s still in jail… right?
*** Paroled. ~Laura

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SB Smith says:

January 14, 2011 at 4:07 am

That goat’s a sweetie.
Hope you aren’t attacked in your new travels !
However, we’ll expect pics right up to the very end…..of your trip I mean.
Heh heh
*** I’m gonna try to get some pics. ~Laura

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eventer79 says:

January 14, 2011 at 11:54 am

I work in the Cape Fear River — I think this should make me awesome by default. In fact, I think the state should give me a raise just because I have to face this horror every day. Hang on, I’m off to call the governor.
*** You should really get some kind of medal or something. ~Laura

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Curtal Friar says:

January 15, 2011 at 11:25 am

Laura,
I had decided to do a little renovation around the Abbey, and I did a Google search under the terms “drawing of fountain abbey” to see what I might get. This is one of the images that popped up:
http://www.fetchmyflyingmonkeys.com/blog/photo/dramaqueen.jpg
I guess your blog is truly ubiquitous. Go figure.
*** HA! I am surprised my sexy boudoir pic didn’t come up. Ha! ~Laura

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Mad William Flint says:

January 15, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Gang signs, “Man”, Cape Fear and a goatlet in a sweater in the first two paragraphs.
Yep. I think I’ll be sticking around. o/
*** Ha! Good and welcome. ~Laura

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MorningGlory says:

January 16, 2011 at 8:31 am

Eventer79, I also live and work in the Cape Fear Basin. Let me know what Bev says about hazard pay. At least we should get a tax break!
*** You all really should because there’s murderous convicts up there. ~Laura

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