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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 Good news and bad news. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
It started snowing here Sunday night and continued snowing through Monday afternoon. Then freezing rain started falling on top of that. South Carolina closed down and so did my job and I got to sleep late and lay around in pajamas all day watching a House marathon and eating Circus Peanuts. I’m usually happy to get an unexpected snow day off of work, but I missed my dermatologist appointment (they were closed too of course) and my leprosy hasn’t diminished at all, as a matter of fact, it’s worsened.
Also, starting at around three o’clock Monday, I started having severe pain on the left side of my neck. It felt like a tumor was pressing on my spine. I realize how ridiculous this sounds, but despite the absurdity, I am wholly convinced that I was displaying symptoms for neck and brain cancer. The pain was so intense that I couldn’t hear or see with my left ear and eye respectively, and I had shooting pains coursing through the left side of my neck and into the top of my brain. I was about to call J, even though he lives a few hours from me, and ask him to take me to the emergency room but when I sat up to reach for my iPhone, the pain suddenly disappeared. I looked down and saw that I had been laying on one of Jack’s dried up old rawhide bones. So I flipped to the other side of the couch. CURED! I continued watching House and now I think I have lupus. Fuck.
Ah – cranius rawhide-itis proceeding to lupus. I think if you will continue to watch House he may be able to cure you. At least you won’t think about your imminent demise while you look at his gloriousness (? gloriosity? House is the Boo in my world).
Have you tried Circus Peanuts applied directly to the leprosy? Just don’t gnaw the CP off your thumb – stomach leprosy could really get ugly.
*** Circus Peanut usually cures everything, or causes everything. I forget. ~Laura
Wow, you really had me worried there for a minute. Glad you were able to affect a cure for your brain cancer, but you really need to get that leprosy looked at. That crap is contagious you know. If you were to give the leprosy to Jack, you’d have to deal with Tinks’ outrage. That would be a bad thing.
I woke up to a wonderland of ice and snow. I’ll be heading in to the office after it gets to be daylight, which will make be about an hour and a half late for work, but that’s the best I can do. I at least want to be able to see the ice slick that sends me to my doom, and I can’t do that in the dark.
*** Be careful! I will go back when the roads are clear. ~Laura
I had what I was sure was flesh-eating virus or something on the front of my thigh for the longest time, and I just knew I was gonna dies… until someone pointed out that the discolored patch was the exact size and shape of my cell phone, which lived in my front pocket… so I totally understand rawhide-chew-toy-neck-cancer!
*** HAHA! Cellanoma. I am glad you can relate. ~Laura
I hope you are cured soon. I hope I get the day off. I am waiting on a text message to let us know if the office will be opened or closed. WTH?
Good luck with your dermatologist.
*** Don’t take any chances on the roads- you decide. Have a safe and great day. ~Laura
LOL! I once woke up with severe pain on my side only to discover I was laying on a shoe! I had been drinking the night before and just threw them on my bed. lol
*** So you didn’t need that emergency appendectomy. ~Laura
We also got spanked with the after-snow ice…the Stretchengeti is an ice rink. You ought to see Stretch’s long ass sliding around, and he has 4 wheel drive. I finally had to collect him, he was having trouble getting from point A to B. Anyway, I had to use Stick Science so I could rescue him. Stay safe and stay off the roads. The South is full of snow and ice rookies who believe they can piss with the big dogs.
I’m glad it was only a IRD (improvised rawhide device). Could’ve been much worse.
*** The ice just in my neighborhood is awful. The road is still covered! I doubt I can even get out of the drive. Crazy. Jack hates it, Tinks hates it, and even I hate it because I want to use my PTO for better things. Waaa. Have I complained enough? I can go on. Ha! You all stay safe there! ~Laura
I tried to go to work. I really did. Defrosted the car and everything … drove/slid about a mile, tried to turn left and the car kept going straight. Turned around in the next available driveway and came home. So no worries; I’m safe and sound at my house. The roads are treacherous!
*** I just saw a firetruck going by (someone with a kerosene heater no doubt) and it had it’s siren going and it was creeping. As it tuned down the street by my house- it slid! Nope, my car wouldn’t stand a chance. Stay home and be safe indeed! ~Laura
O M G… *shakes head*
so now Jack is trying to kill you.
Phew! That was a close call. Glad you are feeling better!
My first boss told me to never say I had a brain tumor in jest when my head hurt. She and a couple close friends used to say it all the time along with the drama, much like you. After a few years of them doing that one was diagnosed with a brain tumor and died shortly after.
*** I don’t want to live in a world where you can’t joke about having a terminal illness. ~Laura
Will there be a decent cheese platter at your wake? I just want to plan ahead.
*** I will write that down as one of my last wishes. Maybe bring your own crackers though. ~Laura
I have not been out of my house since Friday. My Jeep has not moved since Friday. therefore my Jeep is frozen in about 8 inches of snow then covered by 1 inch of Ice. and so is everything around it. I am gonna try to drive to the mail box today to see if the mailman lived up to their creed yesterday, ya know.. “Thru rain or sleet or freezing snow”.. wusses.. probably not. but my Jeep is frozen to the ground in the front yard. I took pix. it’s cool!
*** Be careful even going down your drive! The mail did not run here yesterday and I doubt they do today. ~Laura
I think I read somewhere on the internet that there is a link between rawhide chews and lupus but I think you will be OK as long you don’t give in and chew them.
Sorry about the leprosy, do you need someone to deliver dried crusts of bread over to your place? I could push it to you with a long stick.
*** HAHAHA! How very kind of you. Next you’ll be dropping me off on my own island. ~Laura
it hasn’t stopped me from saying that I have a brain tumor when Im in pain.
*** That’s good. I mean, that you say it, not that you’re in pain. I have brain tumors all the time. ~Laura
Good thing you were cured of your illness. Praise Baby Jesus!
Glad you got the day off yesterday, but Hypochronriacts(sp?) should NOT watch House. House can see your toe twitching and know that you have some condition that needs immediate attention or your gonna die!
On a twisted funny note, I watched a SUV pull some sledders around my street last night. You heard that right. Some Dumbass is driving and pulling two people in a sled behind him. A few minutes later, I saw a police car come down the street, but I didn’t call them.
Working from home again today with 6 inches of snow on the ground and highs in the teens.
*** We have about 6-7 inches with ice on top of that and it’s below freezing! Needless too say, I’m home again. Yeah, I need to stay away from medical dramas. ~Laura
Ice and snow in the south is just God’s way of rewarding those who make fun of him. That and brain tumors from chew toys. I swear. You can look it up in the Bible!
*** I thought it was God’s way of thinning the herd. ~Laura
Glad you got a good diagnosis on the rawhide-itis! To celebrate:
Here you go! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LMmu-DKaQ0
Hope this link works, it’s supposed to be a baby polar bear on ice, kinda like your neighborhood…
*** But the bears are adorable, my neighbors not so much. Thanks! ~Laura
My life would be so damn boring without your exploits and diseases to read…
Get better, stay warm, and for goodness’ sake, DON’T GORGE ON THE CIRCUS PEANUTS!!!
*** Too late! Now I have stomach rabies!!! ~Laura
Oooh. Rawhide bone cancer is nothing to fool around with, Laura. At the very least, put a bandaid on it, please? We want to keep you around. And whatever you do, don’t consult House for a diagnosis, coz he’ll come close to killing you at least twice before he figures out that all along, it was just a chew toy.
*** Now I’m really worried… I’m out of bandaids. ~Laura
Laura, I heard you were snowed in. I am on my way to bring you Bread and wine. We can cuddle by the fire (what? no fireplace?) OK, we can cuddle by the candle light and talk of our future together. (what? your seeing “J”?) OK, we will talk about your rabies and how we can cure them. (What? your out of band-aids?) OK, never mind!
*** Ha! Imposter!!!! ~Laura
You know what-I also suffer from mad maladies, errr, hypochondria… what you really need is WebMD and the Merck’s manual on your iphone. I hear tell there is going to be and even better app for checking symptoms soon with pictures… I love to Dr. Google for pictures – thats how I knew I had a weird and deadly form of psoraisis associated with cancer but really it was some nasty rash from doing bikram in a gross hippie studio…that hasn’t stopped me from diagnosing me and all my friends… just sayin’
*** WebMD almost leaves me in a coma everytime I venture there. But I will get the iPhone app, just cause. ~Laura
Laura,
I’ve heard (but will not give up my sources) that George Clooney is the CURE for rabies, lupus, cancer and anything else you may come down with! It’s time to give him a call and . . . oh nevermind. That’s only the voices in my head confusing me!
*** HAHA! That’s okay, the voices in mine confuse me sometimes too. It’s the brain rabies. ~Laura
I think Tinks wants your circus peanuts… to attract more creatures to kill. I wouldn’t turn my back on Tinks if I were you… very sneaky trying to place the blame on Jack. heh.
*** HA! You may be right! I jdid yell at Jack the other day… ~Laura
Ice freaks me out. Do not move. Stay home.
And I totally agree about the joking thing-I HAVE a brain tumor and I joke all the time. How can you not? It’s goofy.
However, I find nothing funny at all about flatulence.
Also, get Jack a loofah dog-it’s softer and when he drops it everywhere it won’t cause painful tumors, maybe just silent ones.
*** HAHAHAHA! Want to know what’s so funny? I don’t find anything about flatulence funny either! HA! ~Laura
Weather like that is a good excuse to get a Hummer. Doesn’t stop on ice any better, but at least you can crush all the opposition!
*** But God those things are ugly. ~Laura
I used to have a dog that would bury his bones in my butt and in my hip. Good thing he was cute cuz several times I thought I was dying. I also had a dog that could disconnect my cpap machine. Maybe my dogs were trying to tell me something??
*** IN YOUR BUTT? HAHAHA! I’m not even going to ask. HAHAHA! ~Laura
I for one would like clarification on One Crazed Chick’s hip & butt digging. As(s) to the cpap, maybe the dog thought it was her butt?
I sometimes wear my cpap and when I do I have to wear the full head gear.
*** I just don’t want any visuals. Ha! ~Laura
He thought I was his mate. He take the bone and put inside my pjs and push it down (always with a t-bone steak bone). I would feel it as soon as that point stuck me (I’m a heavy sleeper). He growled and snapped at my husband when he came to bed. Otto always slept curled up right next to me. What a cute little baby he was.
**** HAHAHA! Girl, people may not know what you’re trying to say here, I sorta do, and even though I’m laughing hard as hell by what they’ll be thinking- I’m posting this.~ Laura
Are you playing with armadillos? You know they can carry leprosy. Mmm-hmmm!!!
*** No. I have never even seen an armadillo before! They say we have some here, but I’ve never even seen one hit by a car. ~Laura
When you have freezing rain, doing anything other than closing down is insane. (We had an ice storm out here in ought-seven which knocked out power to 400,000 very cold houses.) The couch is a very good place to be.
*** It is indeed. ~Laura
My official diagnosis is that you have circus peanuts stuck to your skin here and there and you’ve mistaken it for leprosy.
*** HA! But it itchesssss!! ~Laura
New fan here – wish I’d found you sooner and looking forward to reading more.
Your ostrich story reminded me of my own personal drama with a one-eyed hen – scarred for life by a 3 lb bird. I can understand how you’d have ongoing nightmares about one that weighs, what? 2-300 lbs maybe.
FMFM has now been added to my blogroll over @ Venom, Secrets, & Lies under the header ‘All & Sundry Poisons’. I’d be tickled if you’ll stop by and check it some time.
*** Welcome! I certainly will be over there. I used to have a banty rooster that would try to spur me back in Kentucky and I would run, screaming to the car. You know you have to re-evaluate your life when chckens start kicking your ass. ~Laura
Hoping you haven’t succumbed to rabies, lupus or rawhide bone cancer, ‘specially since you haven’t posted in a few days. Maybe you’re just in a circus peanut coma or something. At any rate, I’m just checking in on you and also establishing that I’m not one of the thoughtless sonsabitches. =)
*** YES! You were the only one to check on me! Thank you. And it was only one day I was gone. Just busy, no illness THIS TIME. ~Laura
Ah – cranius rawhide-itis proceeding to lupus. I think if you will continue to watch House he may be able to cure you. At least you won’t think about your imminent demise while you look at his gloriousness (? gloriosity? House is the Boo in my world).
Have you tried Circus Peanuts applied directly to the leprosy? Just don’t gnaw the CP off your thumb – stomach leprosy could really get ugly.
*** Circus Peanut usually cures everything, or causes everything. I forget. ~Laura
Wow, you really had me worried there for a minute. Glad you were able to affect a cure for your brain cancer, but you really need to get that leprosy looked at. That crap is contagious you know. If you were to give the leprosy to Jack, you’d have to deal with Tinks’ outrage. That would be a bad thing.
I woke up to a wonderland of ice and snow. I’ll be heading in to the office after it gets to be daylight, which will make be about an hour and a half late for work, but that’s the best I can do. I at least want to be able to see the ice slick that sends me to my doom, and I can’t do that in the dark.
*** Be careful! I will go back when the roads are clear. ~Laura
I had what I was sure was flesh-eating virus or something on the front of my thigh for the longest time, and I just knew I was gonna dies… until someone pointed out that the discolored patch was the exact size and shape of my cell phone, which lived in my front pocket… so I totally understand rawhide-chew-toy-neck-cancer!
*** HAHA! Cellanoma. I am glad you can relate. ~Laura
I hope you are cured soon. I hope I get the day off. I am waiting on a text message to let us know if the office will be opened or closed. WTH?
Good luck with your dermatologist.
*** Don’t take any chances on the roads- you decide. Have a safe and great day. ~Laura
LOL! I once woke up with severe pain on my side only to discover I was laying on a shoe! I had been drinking the night before and just threw them on my bed. lol
*** So you didn’t need that emergency appendectomy. ~Laura
We also got spanked with the after-snow ice…the Stretchengeti is an ice rink. You ought to see Stretch’s long ass sliding around, and he has 4 wheel drive. I finally had to collect him, he was having trouble getting from point A to B. Anyway, I had to use Stick Science so I could rescue him. Stay safe and stay off the roads. The South is full of snow and ice rookies who believe they can piss with the big dogs.
I’m glad it was only a IRD (improvised rawhide device). Could’ve been much worse.
*** The ice just in my neighborhood is awful. The road is still covered! I doubt I can even get out of the drive. Crazy. Jack hates it, Tinks hates it, and even I hate it because I want to use my PTO for better things. Waaa. Have I complained enough? I can go on. Ha! You all stay safe there! ~Laura
I tried to go to work. I really did. Defrosted the car and everything … drove/slid about a mile, tried to turn left and the car kept going straight. Turned around in the next available driveway and came home. So no worries; I’m safe and sound at my house. The roads are treacherous!
*** I just saw a firetruck going by (someone with a kerosene heater no doubt) and it had it’s siren going and it was creeping. As it tuned down the street by my house- it slid! Nope, my car wouldn’t stand a chance. Stay home and be safe indeed! ~Laura
O M G… *shakes head*
so now Jack is trying to kill you.
Phew! That was a close call. Glad you are feeling better!
My first boss told me to never say I had a brain tumor in jest when my head hurt. She and a couple close friends used to say it all the time along with the drama, much like you. After a few years of them doing that one was diagnosed with a brain tumor and died shortly after.
*** I don’t want to live in a world where you can’t joke about having a terminal illness. ~Laura
Will there be a decent cheese platter at your wake? I just want to plan ahead.
*** I will write that down as one of my last wishes. Maybe bring your own crackers though. ~Laura
“I don’t want to live in a world where you can’t joke about having a terminal illness. ~Laura”
Golden. Simply golden.
*** And I mean it. Ha! ~Laura
I have not been out of my house since Friday. My Jeep has not moved since Friday. therefore my Jeep is frozen in about 8 inches of snow then covered by 1 inch of Ice. and so is everything around it. I am gonna try to drive to the mail box today to see if the mailman lived up to their creed yesterday, ya know.. “Thru rain or sleet or freezing snow”.. wusses.. probably not. but my Jeep is frozen to the ground in the front yard. I took pix. it’s cool!
*** Be careful even going down your drive! The mail did not run here yesterday and I doubt they do today. ~Laura
I think I read somewhere on the internet that there is a link between rawhide chews and lupus but I think you will be OK as long you don’t give in and chew them.
Sorry about the leprosy, do you need someone to deliver dried crusts of bread over to your place? I could push it to you with a long stick.
*** HAHAHA! How very kind of you. Next you’ll be dropping me off on my own island. ~Laura
it hasn’t stopped me from saying that I have a brain tumor when Im in pain.
*** That’s good. I mean, that you say it, not that you’re in pain. I have brain tumors all the time. ~Laura
Good thing you were cured of your illness. Praise Baby Jesus!
Glad you got the day off yesterday, but Hypochronriacts(sp?) should NOT watch House. House can see your toe twitching and know that you have some condition that needs immediate attention or your gonna die!
On a twisted funny note, I watched a SUV pull some sledders around my street last night. You heard that right. Some Dumbass is driving and pulling two people in a sled behind him. A few minutes later, I saw a police car come down the street, but I didn’t call them.
Working from home again today with 6 inches of snow on the ground and highs in the teens.
*** We have about 6-7 inches with ice on top of that and it’s below freezing! Needless too say, I’m home again. Yeah, I need to stay away from medical dramas. ~Laura
Oh don’t worry, it’s never lupus.
*** I KNOW! It usually worse! ~Laura
Ice and snow in the south is just God’s way of rewarding those who make fun of him. That and brain tumors from chew toys. I swear. You can look it up in the Bible!
*** I thought it was God’s way of thinning the herd. ~Laura
Glad you got a good diagnosis on the rawhide-itis! To celebrate:
Here you go!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LMmu-DKaQ0
Hope this link works, it’s supposed to be a baby polar bear on ice, kinda like your neighborhood…
*** But the bears are adorable, my neighbors not so much. Thanks! ~Laura
I’m glad your tumor turned out to be a rawhide. Hopefully the lupus is a bad spring on the couch or something.
***HA! Probably so. ~Laura
My life would be so damn boring without your exploits and diseases to read…
Get better, stay warm, and for goodness’ sake, DON’T GORGE ON THE CIRCUS PEANUTS!!!
*** Too late! Now I have stomach rabies!!! ~Laura
Oooh. Rawhide bone cancer is nothing to fool around with, Laura. At the very least, put a bandaid on it, please? We want to keep you around. And whatever you do, don’t consult House for a diagnosis, coz he’ll come close to killing you at least twice before he figures out that all along, it was just a chew toy.
*** Now I’m really worried… I’m out of bandaids. ~Laura
Maybe the thumb rabies can kick the lupus’s ass.
*** From your text to God’s ears…eyes? Whatever, but yeah. ~Laura
Laura, I heard you were snowed in. I am on my way to bring you Bread and wine. We can cuddle by the fire (what? no fireplace?) OK, we can cuddle by the candle light and talk of our future together. (what? your seeing “J”?) OK, we will talk about your rabies and how we can cure them. (What? your out of band-aids?) OK, never mind!
*** Ha! Imposter!!!! ~Laura
You know what-I also suffer from mad maladies, errr, hypochondria… what you really need is WebMD and the Merck’s manual on your iphone. I hear tell there is going to be and even better app for checking symptoms soon with pictures… I love to Dr. Google for pictures – thats how I knew I had a weird and deadly form of psoraisis associated with cancer but really it was some nasty rash from doing bikram in a gross hippie studio…that hasn’t stopped me from diagnosing me and all my friends… just sayin’
*** WebMD almost leaves me in a coma everytime I venture there. But I will get the iPhone app, just cause. ~Laura
Laura,
I’ve heard (but will not give up my sources) that George Clooney is the CURE for rabies, lupus, cancer and anything else you may come down with! It’s time to give him a call and . . . oh nevermind. That’s only the voices in my head confusing me!
*** HAHA! That’s okay, the voices in mine confuse me sometimes too. It’s the brain rabies. ~Laura
I think Tinks wants your circus peanuts… to attract more creatures to kill. I wouldn’t turn my back on Tinks if I were you… very sneaky trying to place the blame on Jack. heh.
*** HA! You may be right! I jdid yell at Jack the other day… ~Laura
Ice freaks me out. Do not move. Stay home.
And I totally agree about the joking thing-I HAVE a brain tumor and I joke all the time. How can you not? It’s goofy.
However, I find nothing funny at all about flatulence.
Also, get Jack a loofah dog-it’s softer and when he drops it everywhere it won’t cause painful tumors, maybe just silent ones.
*** HAHAHAHA! Want to know what’s so funny? I don’t find anything about flatulence funny either! HA! ~Laura
Weather like that is a good excuse to get a Hummer. Doesn’t stop on ice any better, but at least you can crush all the opposition!
*** But God those things are ugly. ~Laura
Ice sucks, Snow blows, Mud just lies there.
*** HaHa! So true. ~Laura
I used to have a dog that would bury his bones in my butt and in my hip. Good thing he was cute cuz several times I thought I was dying. I also had a dog that could disconnect my cpap machine. Maybe my dogs were trying to tell me something??
*** IN YOUR BUTT? HAHAHA! I’m not even going to ask. HAHAHA! ~Laura
* one crazed chick:
In your butt? please do explain, we are curious.
*** I don’t think I want to know! Ha! ~Laura
I for one would like clarification on One Crazed Chick’s hip & butt digging. As(s) to the cpap, maybe the dog thought it was her butt?
I sometimes wear my cpap and when I do I have to wear the full head gear.
*** I just don’t want any visuals. Ha! ~Laura
He thought I was his mate. He take the bone and put inside my pjs and push it down (always with a t-bone steak bone). I would feel it as soon as that point stuck me (I’m a heavy sleeper). He growled and snapped at my husband when he came to bed. Otto always slept curled up right next to me. What a cute little baby he was.
**** HAHAHA! Girl, people may not know what you’re trying to say here, I sorta do, and even though I’m laughing hard as hell by what they’ll be thinking- I’m posting this.~ Laura
Are you playing with armadillos? You know they can carry leprosy. Mmm-hmmm!!!
*** No. I have never even seen an armadillo before! They say we have some here, but I’ve never even seen one hit by a car. ~Laura
When you have freezing rain, doing anything other than closing down is insane. (We had an ice storm out here in ought-seven which knocked out power to 400,000 very cold houses.) The couch is a very good place to be.
*** It is indeed. ~Laura
One Crazed Chick! OK!
My official diagnosis is that you have circus peanuts stuck to your skin here and there and you’ve mistaken it for leprosy.
*** HA! But it itchesssss!! ~Laura
Snow sucks. Ice sucks more. Therefore water is evil. Avoid it if you can. Signed…Crown Royal
*** HA! Ahhhh Crown Royal. ~Laura
New fan here – wish I’d found you sooner and looking forward to reading more.
Your ostrich story reminded me of my own personal drama with a one-eyed hen – scarred for life by a 3 lb bird. I can understand how you’d have ongoing nightmares about one that weighs, what? 2-300 lbs maybe.
FMFM has now been added to my blogroll over @ Venom, Secrets, & Lies under the header ‘All & Sundry Poisons’. I’d be tickled if you’ll stop by and check it some time.
*** Welcome! I certainly will be over there. I used to have a banty rooster that would try to spur me back in Kentucky and I would run, screaming to the car. You know you have to re-evaluate your life when chckens start kicking your ass. ~Laura
I’m thinking you should maybe look into a career as a doctor. You solve a lot of your own illnesses.
*** I KNOW! I really should. ~Laura
Now if that was George (on side link)…
*** Hells yeah : ) ~Laura
Hoping you haven’t succumbed to rabies, lupus or rawhide bone cancer, ‘specially since you haven’t posted in a few days. Maybe you’re just in a circus peanut coma or something. At any rate, I’m just checking in on you and also establishing that I’m not one of the thoughtless sonsabitches. =)
*** YES! You were the only one to check on me! Thank you. And it was only one day I was gone. Just busy, no illness THIS TIME. ~Laura