Nazis are very vague when requesting favors and then go all Gestapo on your ass when you think outside the box and only come up with the best idea ever in the history of ideas. Just saying.
So J called me earlier today and asked what I was doing and I told him I was Christmas shopping and he asked me if I would pick up some goodies for him for his family’s Christmas stockings because that’s always his job every year and I said sure. After I got home I took a pic of all the stocking stuffer goodies I bought for him with a note that said “Dinosaurs not included.” Anyway, here’s the pic:
Within seconds my phone rang and it was him and I thought he called to tell me how mind-blowingly awesome the stuffers were I bought but he was all “What the hell, Laura?” And I was all “Well, I think I picked out a pretty good selection” and he was all “Yeah, if my family were a bunch of hobos” and I was all “DUDE, what the hell did you want me to buy?” And he said “Oh, I don’t know…CANDY CANES and M&M’s maybe.” Oh. And I was going to suggest he put a box of condoms and a deck of playing cards in each stocking too, but never mind, Nazi Grinch.27 Comments
27 Responses to Nazis are very vague when requesting favors and then go all Gestapo on your ass when you think outside the box and only come up with the best idea ever in the history of ideas. Just saying.
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Those look like GREAT stocking stuffers to me!
*** To me too! ~Laura
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Provided, of course, that Christmas is all blurry and room-spinny and shit.
*** HA! And it is. ~Laura
You can fill my stocking any time! All I ever get are razors and nail clippers.
*** I should be a professional stocking stuffer. ~Laura
WTF! The ungrateful nazi commi freedom hating lazy bastard! He should know you don’t think cutesy type shit. I DIDN’T EITHER.. just saying.
you can send all of us zombie apocalypse survivors the cool shit.
I would have suggested the cards and rubbers too.
*** And they would have thought those were the best stockings they ever got. ~Laura
Remind J about the ass/booze blog you just blogged about and he commented on (i think)….
So no ass or booze for you nazi, 1 year! HA!
*** Yeah, he must have forgotten that the only store I was Christmas shopping at was the the liquor store. ~Laura
Wow. Now that’s a sight to behold. I’m sure the liquor store owner feels that you made excellent choices and wished you a very merry Christmas when you checked out. Honestly, what more could J have expected? I mean, doesn’t _everybody_ give candy canes and M&Ms?
*** Exactly! I thought it was a genius idea. ~Laura
THAT is the most awesome collection of mini bottle booze ever! What a great stocking stuffer idea!Thanks!
*** You’re welcome. ~Laura
Man, are you sure this is the man of your dreams? Sounds like somebody is going to get a lump of something in his Christmas stocking! Nazi’s! so predictable!
*** I got him coal last year. ~Laura
Booze, cards and rubbers, inspiring ideas to be sure! What else are you gonna do when you’re snowed in?
It just goes to show you can’t please some people. Let him get his own stocking stuffers!
*** YEAH! ~Laura
I think that those are the most awsome stocking stuffers EVER!!Hell…I’d give my prosthetic leg for a stocking stuffed with those goodies!! =)
*** HA! I thought they rocked. ~Laura
That collection of cute little booze bottles is so festive and Christmassy it brought a tear to my eye.
Sorry, gettin’ emotional here.
*** I understand. Ha! ~Laura
i don’t understand why he was so upset you forgot to buy the M&Ms, they don’t even go well with alcohol…
*** I know, right? ~Laura
Candy Canes and M&M? yeah, and they’d be like Candy Canes and M&M? What are we 10? how bout some booze and maybe some Ass!!! Just sayin!!!
*** If they get wind of him saying he didn’t want these, they’ll kick his ass. ~Laura
I will be special delivering my Christmas stocking to you so please just fill it and special delivery it back to me. thank you.
*** If you deliver it- I will fill it with booze, condoms, and cards. ~Laura
Brilliant! Suggestion: Goody’s Headache Powder packets are great stocking stuffers, also. BTW, tell Commandante J that peppermint schnapps is waaaaay better than candy canes. Unlike Nazis, I like my diabetes-inducing comestibles with a good buzz.
*** Ha! I will tell him. ~Laura
That’s an excellent idea for a business. I always loved buying all the little shit for stockings more than the real presents.
*** I’ve never bought stocking stuff before! Maybe it shows, eh? ~Laura
So I started thinking: what would I rather have in my stocking: a candy cane, or a couple shots of Jose Cuervo Especial?
Which, needless to say, didn’t take long. Besides, somebody already left me a candy cane.
*** Ha! Well, I’d rather have a mini bottle than a candy cane, you know- for snake bites. ~Laura
Now that looks like a great party. All that’s missing is some mistletoe and a lamp shade!
*** And George Clooney : ) ~Laura
Aww laura stuff my stocking please….okay that sound weird… and the best thing you managed to avoid the shopping crush by visiting only one store
*** Exactly. ~Laura
I know how hectic and crowded a house can be during the holidays. I can help you out and “store” those sadly unwanted stocking stuffers here at my place. You know you can “trust” me with them.
*** You are so helpful. Ha! ~Laura
So give in and put a f’ing candy cane in each stocking…for the morning-after breath. It’s called compromise with the male species.
I personally think it is very eco-friendly. The rubbers offset the booze, reducing world population. If that isn’t a thoughtful gift, I don’t know what is.
*** Ha! And they can use the candycanes to stir their drinks. ~Laura
I see nothing wrong with those stocking stuffers. Damn you ARE dating a Nazi!
*** I TOLD YA’LL!! ~Laura
Laura, you can be my Secret Santa anytime! Anyone but a Nazi would love to get booze as a stocking stuffer. And thanks for a great idea-my holidays with the family would be a lot more enjoyable if we all got each other booze!
*** Ha! You’re welcome. ~Laura
When are you going to dump this… this… J person?
*** Never. ~Laura
peppermint schnapps – chocolate wine. jus’ sayin’
*** Sounds like a good combo. ~Laura
beats candy canes and M&Ms!
*** For reals. ~Laura
Hobos??? Hobos my Aunt Fanny! Those are some PREMIUM SELECTIONS right there — and I happen to know they don’t even MAKE little bitty bottles of Night Train!
*** I thought it was a fantastic array of mini bottles. ~Laura