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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 And I wonder why I am buying fewer and fewer cards every year… | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Every year after Thanksgiving I purchase Christmas cards that I send out to my friends so I can mail them on the last day of November. I don’t buy them by the box because those are generally really boring “Fa La La Merry Christmas” with boring, glittery elves and Santas and shit on them. My friends have grown to expect a card from me that says “Laura sent this” which usually involves something inappropriate for the season. I also sign them with crazy things like “You need to start being a better friend to me, Motherfucker.” I just make sure I call them names somewhere in there so they know they’re special to me. Anyway, since I’m not buying each of you a card, I thought I’d take a photo of this year’s card and post it here for all of you.
Oh, and HERE’S some more Outer Banks pics I took in Flickr. You know you want to see them.
Not that I’m in any way shape or form implying that this is a Sign from the Big Guy but you should Beware!
*** Oh I know! I put that on my links a few days ago. It has audio too of his attack. I love the sound of the kid screaming like a little girl. Wait..is that bad? ~Laura
I am looking forward to more Christmas cheer from you through out December. I just know it’s gonna be a great month here @ Monkeys. I cant wait. Fa La La La La La MF’r!
*** It will be festive as hell around here. ~Laura
sniff, sniff. I am overwhelmed by the heartwarming sentiments of your card during this holiday season.
*** I know, sometimes I’m all sapy and sentimental. ~Laura
Ha! Stuff it up yer chimney you cheap Santa!
(Crap! All the vodka is gone again. I guess they don’t call him Blitzen for nothing, the four-legged sot. He’d better sober up before Dec. 24th.)
*** Oh that reminds me, I need more Grey Goose. ~Laura
Did you get those crabs cleared up yet? I know J knows cos I happened to mention it to him.
*** Yes! I cleared them up and they were tasty! I also bought that shirt ” I got crabs from Dirty Dick’s” I love it. ~Laura
Well just wonderful, I have drank a pot of coffee and stumbled on your blog and peed my pants from laffing so hard. I was trying to figure out Christmas Cards that I am in NO STINKIn mood to send anyways. This is how I feel about it…..Love Love Love it!
*** Well welcome and thank you. When you send out your cards just cuss everybody and it will make you feel better. Srsly, try it. It puts me in the holiday mood. ~Laura
We need more Christmas cards with zombies on them. Saying stuff like “I wish I was eating you this Christmas.”
Or a zombie Christmas carol book, but someone beat me to it: http://www.amazon.com/Its-Beginning-Look-Like-Zombies/dp/0061956430
*** YES! Merry Brainzzzzz, shit like that. Deck the Halls with blood and grey matter, fa la la la la la .~Laura
Love the card, now I want to cuss everyone out for the holidays too!
You always have the best holiday ideas, Laura! You’re like a sonsabitch Martha Stewed-art!
And I’ll bet your nativity set has baby otters, badgers and goats in it too!
*** Oooo that’s an idea. And I AM very sonsabitch Martha Stewed-art! ~Laura
One of my jobs every year is to put together and mail over 200 Xmas cards for my boss. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I switched out their sappy “photo of the family” card and sent out your card instead!? Hahahahahah!!!
Hmmm…but then I guess I’d probably lose my job. Party poopers!!!
*** It would be epic though if you did right before you quit or something. ~Laura
“Bah” and “Humbug” are the full extent of my holiday cheer.
(Did you see the new baby otter pictures at CuteOverload? http://cuteoverload.com/2010/11/29/meowters/ Whee!)
*** I love them so! Even that mean one in Fla that’s attacking people, as a matter of fact I love him most. Ha! ~Laura
Oh, another song would be We Three Kings are Drunk in a Bar! Whose Child is This (and if we can find a way to say get them the hell away from me, that would be great). Another idea would be you could draw your navity scene and use the picture of your lost goat!!
*** OMG YES! My lost goat could play Baby Jesus! ~Laura
That would make the most outstanding Christmas cards sold as “From the Cat”. It’s EXACTLY what most cats would think ! I have one of those “Bad Cat Calendars” and it sounds like a sentiment from that.
I’m serious. You could Sell those. Put the 2nd picture inside the card.
Perfect !
Personally, I’d change the word “sonsabitches” to “peasants”. Someone’s always gonna get their shorts in a wad over the profanity. (“peasants” might sell more, too.)
*** People are too sensitive. There should be more cursing in life. Dammit. ~Laura
I heard about the rabid otter in Florida on the radio this morning driving home from work. I larfed and larfed so hard I thought I would crash the car. Obviously the otter is trying to say “LEAVE ME ALONE DAMMIT!” and no one seems to be listening, poor thing, just makes you want to go up to him and give him a hug…or not…
How’s the thumb?
*** It is doing good thanks for asking. And yes, just leave him alone, but now they’ll have to go catch it and probably kill it. Fuckers. ~Laura
You… are a goof ball…I love yer blog… You made me pee my pants… have you thought about a “Reality Show”? you are a hoot, girl!
*** Reality? Nit really. ~Laura
Hey Thanks Laura! I’m just gonna tell myself you made that card just for me, and didn’t have my address so you had to post it here, and you just said that part about it being for everyone so the other readers here wouldn’t get sad. So Thanks!
Also you’re a good photographer.
*** You’re welcome and thank you. ~Laura
Merry Christmas yourself, ya nut.
*** Damn. I wish you a Merry Christmas and you call me names. ~Laura
Thanks for the card. I am glad to know you care. Have a Merry Christmas you sonsabitch!
*** Haha! I will! ~Laura
LOL! Before meeting you I always took offense to being called Motherfucker. LOL!
*** I am glad I could desensitize you to that, Motherfucker. ~Laura
Not that I’m in any way shape or form implying that this is a Sign from the Big Guy but you should Beware!
*** Oh I know! I put that on my links a few days ago. It has audio too of his attack. I love the sound of the kid screaming like a little girl. Wait..is that bad? ~Laura
I am looking forward to more Christmas cheer from you through out December. I just know it’s gonna be a great month here @ Monkeys. I cant wait. Fa La La La La La MF’r!
*** It will be festive as hell around here. ~Laura
sniff, sniff. I am overwhelmed by the heartwarming sentiments of your card during this holiday season.
*** I know, sometimes I’m all sapy and sentimental. ~Laura
This is RedDog1 to base…check your dead drop in a few days…out.
*** Roger that RedDog1. ~Laura
Ha! Stuff it up yer chimney you cheap Santa!
(Crap! All the vodka is gone again. I guess they don’t call him Blitzen for nothing, the four-legged sot. He’d better sober up before Dec. 24th.)
*** Oh that reminds me, I need more Grey Goose. ~Laura
MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU SONSABITCH!
*** And a Happy New Year! ~Laura
Did you get those crabs cleared up yet? I know J knows cos I happened to mention it to him.
*** Yes! I cleared them up and they were tasty! I also bought that shirt ” I got crabs from Dirty Dick’s” I love it. ~Laura
Best card I’ll “get” all season.
*** You’re welcome. ~Laura
Well just wonderful, I have drank a pot of coffee and stumbled on your blog and peed my pants from laffing so hard. I was trying to figure out Christmas Cards that I am in NO STINKIn mood to send anyways. This is how I feel about it…..Love Love Love it!
*** Well welcome and thank you. When you send out your cards just cuss everybody and it will make you feel better. Srsly, try it. It puts me in the holiday mood. ~Laura
We need more Christmas cards with zombies on them. Saying stuff like “I wish I was eating you this Christmas.”
Or a zombie Christmas carol book, but someone beat me to it: http://www.amazon.com/Its-Beginning-Look-Like-Zombies/dp/0061956430
*** YES! Merry Brainzzzzz, shit like that. Deck the Halls with blood and grey matter, fa la la la la la .~Laura
I love that card! I want to send it to all my friends!
*** Be sure to cuss them out on it. ~Laura
Merry Christmas, Laura! From one of the Sonsabitches!
*** And a Happy New Year, let’s hope. ~Laura
I’ll pay you to do my Christmas cards for me. Yours are brilliant.
*** I would do it! I really would. ~Laura
That’s one of the best Christmas cards I ever got. Thanks.
*** You’re welcome. ~Laura
Love the card, now I want to cuss everyone out for the holidays too!
You always have the best holiday ideas, Laura! You’re like a sonsabitch Martha Stewed-art!
And I’ll bet your nativity set has baby otters, badgers and goats in it too!
*** Oooo that’s an idea. And I AM very sonsabitch Martha Stewed-art! ~Laura
Lovely card. My sentiments exactly. You freekin’ Nazi.
*** I am not a Nazi. J is. ~Laura
I have to mail out cards this week. I am going to cuss everyone as I sign them too.
*** You should. Seriously. ~Laura
LOL! Thank you for the card!
*** You’re welcome. ~Laura
One of my jobs every year is to put together and mail over 200 Xmas cards for my boss. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I switched out their sappy “photo of the family” card and sent out your card instead!? Hahahahahah!!!
Hmmm…but then I guess I’d probably lose my job. Party poopers!!!
*** It would be epic though if you did right before you quit or something. ~Laura
“Bah” and “Humbug” are the full extent of my holiday cheer.
(Did you see the new baby otter pictures at CuteOverload? http://cuteoverload.com/2010/11/29/meowters/ Whee!)
*** I love them so! Even that mean one in Fla that’s attacking people, as a matter of fact I love him most. Ha! ~Laura
Oh, another song would be We Three Kings are Drunk in a Bar! Whose Child is This (and if we can find a way to say get them the hell away from me, that would be great). Another idea would be you could draw your navity scene and use the picture of your lost goat!!
*** OMG YES! My lost goat could play Baby Jesus! ~Laura
That would make the most outstanding Christmas cards sold as “From the Cat”. It’s EXACTLY what most cats would think ! I have one of those “Bad Cat Calendars” and it sounds like a sentiment from that.
I’m serious. You could Sell those. Put the 2nd picture inside the card.
Perfect !
Personally, I’d change the word “sonsabitches” to “peasants”. Someone’s always gonna get their shorts in a wad over the profanity. (“peasants” might sell more, too.)
*** People are too sensitive. There should be more cursing in life. Dammit. ~Laura
Best card I got so far.
*** You’re welcome. ~Laura
I heard about the rabid otter in Florida on the radio this morning driving home from work. I larfed and larfed so hard I thought I would crash the car. Obviously the otter is trying to say “LEAVE ME ALONE DAMMIT!” and no one seems to be listening, poor thing, just makes you want to go up to him and give him a hug…or not…
How’s the thumb?
*** It is doing good thanks for asking. And yes, just leave him alone, but now they’ll have to go catch it and probably kill it. Fuckers. ~Laura
how about “Deck your Balls with lots of jelly” or maybe “Gramma got molested by the reindeer”?
*** Perv. Ha! ~Laura
I love your goat on your banner! He is my favorite… very Andy Warhol. Love Love Love him.
*** The real one was way more awesomer, but thanks. ~Laura
You… are a goof ball…I love yer blog… You made me pee my pants… have you thought about a “Reality Show”? you are a hoot, girl!
*** Reality? Nit really. ~Laura
That’s the spirit!
*** Yeah! ~Laura
Hey Thanks Laura! I’m just gonna tell myself you made that card just for me, and didn’t have my address so you had to post it here, and you just said that part about it being for everyone so the other readers here wouldn’t get sad. So Thanks!
Also you’re a good photographer.
*** You’re welcome and thank you. ~Laura