Yes folks, Crazy Betty was out mowing her yard in her leopard print nightie when I got home from work.
Someone asked me the other day if I had seen my insane neighbor Crazy Betty lately. When I told them that I hadn’t and for all I knew the man who showed up months ago at her house could have killed her and put her in the freezer, they looked at me like “What the hell? Shouldn’t you check on her?” And I replied, “I’m not the keeper of crazy.”
For anyone not familiar with Crazy Betty, she’s my neighbor who is completely nuts and walks around in her nightie most of the time. If that was all she did I would laugh and think “whatever” but she’s left insane, paranoid religious notes on my door about the Blood of Jesus, and has trespassed many times. She’s the reason J got me a Taser because he didn’t want me using my Glock. You see, J is more caring and understanding than I am. I promised him I would Taser her first if she shows up again and I also promised I wouldn’t take pictures of her. But he said nothing about rendering a drawing of her for my readers.
P.S. If anyone wants to read more about Crazy Betty, just do a “Crazy Betty” search over there on that search button thingy. Or not. It’s just batshit craziness.38 Comments
38 Responses to Crazy Ass Neighbor Update: Out of the Freezer Edition
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LMAOOOOO!! Floppy titties!! LOLOLOL! She looks just as I imagined her!
*** I actually prettied her up a tad. Her titties are even more floppy IRL. ~Laura
I hope Jack didn’t have to see crazy Betty’s titties.
I too have chosen not to take the position of ‘keeper of crazy’. LOL
Have a great day and I hope your rabid thumb doesn’t hurt today.
*** You are so sweet and so not a sonsabitch for asking about my thumb. YES, sadly Jack sees her floppy titties, but it’s my understanding that dogs have poor eyesight so he doesn’t get the full effect so there’s that at least. ~Laura
OMG! I think I know her. I swear I saw her @ Wal-mart in her leo-print leo-tard. she had beer in her cart. could she possibly have a twin. OMG NO!
*** Let’s hope not.~Laura
WIN! Laura, you make me laugh so freakin’ hard sometimes. THIS is one of those times. Thank you.
*** You’re welcome. ~Laura
*** I took it, you wanted the link out, you cheeky monkey. ~Laura
Oops! Forgot to change the nome-de-blog.
*** Huh? ~Laura Edit:Oh I see…. It’s early, it’s understandable.
I never knew Betty was so hot in her leopard print nightie.
*** You should ask her out. Ha! ~Laura
Didn’t I see Katy Perry wearing that outfit on Sesame Street?
*** I think she was now that you said that. ~Laura
Damn, if it wasn’t for the bible your neighbor looks EXACTLY like me!
I can’t hold bibles.
They burn my hands.
*** Ha! The power of Christ compels you! ~Laura
LOL! Betty looks like I thought she would too!
*** I think I captured her special look of crazy. ~Laura
That’s my grandma!
*** Tell your grandma to at least put a damn robe on. ~Laura
AHHHH, I see a future childrens’s book. “Drawings by Laura in the Days and Life of Crazy Betty”. I love it.
*** Too scary for kids I’m afraid. ~Laura
Whew. I’m glad to see Crazy Betty wasn’t abducted by aliens or raptured or killed and stuffed in a freezer. Think of the loss to the blog world!
*** I know, right? ~Laura
So I take it that you two didn’t exchange neighborly greetings when you saw her?
I like the picture, but I think its missing something…a cig in her knarled fingers while she cuts her grass.
My dad used to say, “As long as my neighbor cuts his grass and keeps to himself, I don’t care what he does.”
So at least CB is cutting her grass – she’s got that much going for her.
Now I have to walk my crazy dog, as he kept me up most of last night, pacing around the room like a nervous wreck. I posted pics of him a couple of Fridays ago.
*** OH He is so cute! Is he okay? Why was he a nervous wreck? Did ya’ll have storms? Ha! Listen to me all up in your dog’s business!
And this was only the second time her yard’s been mowed. It mostly just looks like brown sage grass over there. And I’d have zero problem with her if and when she keeps to herself, I just don’t want he rcrazy over all paranoid in my yard. ~Laura
It’s too bad you promised J you would never take a picture of Crazy Betty. You could probably make money off it. Bet it would make a great ward against evil. You could affix one to your front door, and it would probably ward off any would be burglar, prowler, potential rapist, murderer, serial killer, druggie looking for a hideout from the cops, etc.
I hope your thumb gets better soon. If it continues to give ya fits, here’s something that might help ya out:
Hopefully I’ve earned otter privileges again.
*** Ha! You may look at the otter pics again. Ha! I would make a Christmas Card out of a picture of her in all her leopard print nightwear glory and send it to everyone I know. Maybe a caption “I hope Santa gives me sanity (or a robe) this year!” or something like that. ~Laura
LOL! Wow, she’s a hot mess. Aren’t you afraid she’ll do something dangerous?
*** Thus the Taser. ~Laura
I mowed my lawn yesterday too, but I wore jeans and old hiking boots. Being the keeper of crazy doesn’t sound like any fun at all; I’m glad that I don’t have any neighbors that I can say that about. On the other hand, I’ve always had a secret fear that others are saying that about me…
*** Hmmmmm….me too…. ~Laura
I had the contractors who cleared my lot leave a ‘buffer zone’ of trees about 40 feet deep on all four sides of my property. All I see through my windows is trees and birds and bunnies and deer. And foxes. The occasional opossum. I have no exposure to the crazy in the neighborhood. Of course, there are some who would tell you that I AM the crazy in the neighborhood. Whatever.
Glad your thumb is feeling better. Mine are too. Not that you asked, but in case you care.
*** OH! I do care! I am glad your thumbs are better! Mine is too. I took your advice and drink gin and tonic everyday, they don’t help but it makes me not give a shit. ha! Living in the city SUCKS for sure. ~Laura
Thanks Laura. He is a looker and is a good dog, most of the time. I think that he might have been stressed with my mom-in-law coming to town yesterday – no joke. I like her and all that(as mom-in-laws go), but I think that my dog knows that with the extra hands helping out around the house, that means he should get a walk from me.
I should have taken him for a walk last night.
*** You should walk him every time you get a chance, Mister! No excuses! ~Laura
The very least she could do is put on a bra.
*** I know! ~laura
I think I dated her before!
*** Oh lawd! ~laura
You should be a sketch artist for the police.LOL
*** I know! I did an entry on that once. ~Laura
She does need a cigarette in her hand. HAH!
*** Hmm…but I never saw her smoking, not that that matters. ~Laura
That’s an excellent picture.
*** Thank you. ~Laura
Jack probably figures that they aren’t really titties, since they’re not vertically oriented (however saggy they may be, they’re still more or less parallel to her waistline, assuming she has a waistline), and therefore he is no danger of being traumatized by this spectacle.
The rest of us, though?
*** HAHAHA! I’m pretty traumatized I tell ya. ~Laura
I like her lawn mower. lol
*** Spiffy isn’t it? ~Laura
Crazy Betty is very trippy.
*** Very. ~Laura
I have 93 cousins on one side, and around 30 aunts and uncles (lost count with the divorces). I am the keeper of crazy for my family.
Trust me, you got off easy
*** Good lawd. Statistically speaking, there’s gotta be a lot of crazy there. ~Laura
Wowser, she is pretty crazy.
*** Indeed. ~Laura
well Crazy Betty has one thing working in her favor – either her nightie is long or her boobies are short, ’cause it would really scare the kiddies if her two puppies were hanging below the hemline…
*** HAHA! And ewww. ~Laura
I am glad Lorrie’s advice about the gin and tonic is working for you.
One of my favorite sayings I would like to share with you is: You can’t prepare for crazy. Feel free to use often.
*** I will thank you. ~Laura
Oh no, I was busy today and almost missed the crazy Betty update.
Thanks for the floppy titties update. I am off do find some kind of exercise to keep my titties off my belly.
*** Nothing wrong with floppy titties, if you flop them in a bra in public. ~Laura
The Crazy Betty Floppy Titties – great name for a rock band.
*** HA! It really would. ~Laura
So, does she wipe her mouth with the Blood of Jesus Bible to get that smeared red look?
*** I just don’t think crazy can stay within the lines during application. ~Laura
Thankfully, our crazy neighbor doesn’t mow her lawn in a leopard-print nightie. However, she does drive heavy equipment….
But hey! Even though I’m not a Glock person (I tend to favor exposed hammers), I think it’s wicked cool that you have one. Rock on!
*** Ugh, I am sick of having crazy neighbors. I bet they say the same about me though. Ha! ~Laura
Floppy titties–and a label just to make sure no one missed them…I’d steal that cartoon if I could think of another use for it. Pure awesome.
*** You are welcome to it. ~Laura
It might not be an actual picture, but it works.
What the hell is wrong with that woman? Seriously.
*** Totally insane. ~Laura