Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
As I was leaving work yesterday afternoon I had stopped at a red light behind another car. It was on a residential street that intersected a four lane road. Suddenly I heard a shit load of sirens behind me. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw four or five police cars coming fast. I immediately wondered if I still had that dead hooker in my trunk but then remembered that it wasn’t a dead hooker at all but my winter coat that I’m always forgetting to drop off at the dry cleaners. Big sigh of relief. I decided to play it cool anyway and try to do what I could to get out of the way. I couldn’t move since I was boxed in, so I sat there. Almost instantly the light turned green and the car in front of me pulled out and then BAM he was hit by a speeding car which was being chased by three more police cars. I just sat there thinking “FUCK!” as both cars spun and pieces of metal went flying. The cops behind me and in the chase were all slamming on brakes and sliding everywhere. It was like I was in the middle of the apocalypse. Then I saw the doors open on the car that was being chased and about four dudes came tumbling out and two ran in my direction. There were guns drawn and shouting and one of the running dudes was brought down right beside my car. The other one jumped a fence with about four cops following him on foot. The other bad dudes were on the ground with several cops on top of them. There was lots of screaming and guns drawn everywhere. The guy in front of me, who had the misfortune of pulling out in front of this, was swarmed with police. I knew he had to have been hurt; his car was almost torn in two. The only good thing I could think was all of this occurred right beside a hospital.
I sat there and stared. The police stopped all traffic and had the whole area encircled. My car was inside this circle. One of the cops walked over and I rolled down my window and he asked me if I was okay. I said I was and he said he’d get me out of there in a few minutes. Instantly there were several ambulances and as they arrived the police stood back and I could see that the guy in the car in front of me was conscious and attempting to get out of the car on his own. A good sign. I saw the bad dudes getting cuffed and hog tied and being dragged toward police cars and ambulances.
Oh, and did I tell you that the one bad dude who was taken down beside my car was hit with a Taser? He was. And he was maybe two feet from me. It was awesome.
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35 Responses to It was just like “COPS” but without the music and the naked crackheads with the blurred out genitalia.
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Holy Crap…that was a lot going down right under your nose !
Glad You’re ok !!
*** Thanks. There wasn’t even a mark on my car from all the metal and taser barbs flying. It was wild though seeing that many cops in this rinky dinky city. ~Laura
WOW! I wondered what all the excitement was yesterday! Did you take pics?
*** NO! I was too busy watching! Didn’t even think about it! I’d make a horrible photojournalist. ~Laura
Thanks for the description it was almost like being there. What fun! I am glad you and your car are okay. What a thrill!
*** It was WILD. It really was. ~Laura
You’re lucky you weren’t the guy in front of you! By the way, you win for the best blog titles. lol
*** Yes, but seriously, I don’t think I would have pulled out on that green light with all those sirens- I think he was trying to beat the approaching inconvenience and look what happened. Oh, and this title win thingy- is there a cash prize? ~Laura
Did George call to see if you were ok?
** Ha! Only in my dreams. Oh and in my dreams, he comforted me in other ways, like naked…wait…what?~Laura
I should have known you were in the middle of all that mess yesterday! I sat in traffic forever! What did the bad guys do?
*** Ha! Yeah, I was there and I have no idea what they did- it wasn’t even on the news! You would have thought they had just killed someone or something- like gang bangers or armed robbery. I hope all that didn’t happen because they were just running from the cops because they had weed or something. ~Laura
I’ve been in a couple of situations with the cops running around with guns drawn. Glad you’re OK.
*** Thanks. It was excitin’. ~Laura
An alternate title, or as we call it here: Friday Night. For a minute I thought you were in my ‘hood last night!
Totally awesome shit. People who live in other, genteel places have no idea what they’re missing.
*** Isn’t it amazing the amount of crime and shit going down in this state? I blame the heat and humidity. But I blame everything on that. It’s why Firefly was canceled. ~Laura
So based on that title, the genitals were clear? Are you sure you weren’t taking cold medicine and watching COPS on mute?
*** Ha! No. Every episode of COPS has a naked crackhead who’s walking down the street then starts acting out. This event I witnessed had no naked crackheads (if they were adicts, they were clothed) thus there was no clear or blurred genitalia. ~Laura
I know when I am in traffic and I hear sirens, I often wonder if I had disposed of that dead hooker in my trunk too. I am glad I’m not the only one.
*** There’s dead hookers in trunks everywhere I imagine. ~Laura
I love seeing bad guys getting tasered. It’s such an instant attitude adjustment!
And watching someone get zapped with electricity is, for some odd reason, always hilarious.
*** YES! I agree! I was hoping they would really beat those dudes down. Is that bad of me? Maybe. But I don’t care. ~Laura
OMG!!! I am glad that you are okay. Dont you wish you had a recorder. I am so glad that you are okay.
*** Oh, my car and I weren’t touched. Yes, I wish I had recorded it- I bet it’s on about 20 dashboard cams though. ~Laura
Such excitement! I am teh jealous.
*** It was pretty cool. ~Laura
What a story! Good thing you are OK.
Personally, I can never get enough of watching people get tasered. I love watching people get all kinds of warnings from the po-leece, not heeding them, and then …..zap….flop….grggg….If I could, I would stay home all day long and watch cop shows with people getting tasered.
Does that make me a bad person?
Disclaimer: This post was written under the influence of NOT ENOUGH SLEEP. Thanks for your support.
*** You need to start getting some sleep. I have been hankering to taser someone since I got my taser. And I will admit, it was pretty damn cool to see someone in person get tasered. I think I scrunched up may face and said “OH MAN!” when he hit the pavement like a ton of spasming bricks. Like I said – it was awesome. ~Laura
Holy Shit!
Yeah, it’s really too bad you didn’t have a camera. Or better yet, a videocam…would have been awesome if you could have had a video and then posted that here for all to watch.
Your story reminds me of a time when I was living in Seattle, and I was at a training seminar this one morning. We went outside on a break, and there were four or five police cars in the parking lot with several policemen standing next to my car, clearly checking it out. I went over there and when they found out it was my car, they pulled me aside and asked me a whole bunch of questions about my morning’s activities while running my driver’s license number and name through their system. Turns out some idiot in a car, the same make and model and color as mine, had held up a liquor store in the area and then fled the scene. They let me go after a few minutes, after my name came up good and they had checked out my car, which I gave permission for them to search. Fortunately no dead hookers in the trunk. Nice thing about living in a big city is that there’s always fresh cement being laid somewhere on any given day.
****HA! Dammit! And I’m either having to dig or doing that whole acid in the bathtub thing which has the messiest cleanup ever! Oh well, dead hookers don’t bury themselves I always say. ~Laura
You are the best storyteller. Seriously, it was like I was there.
*** If you were I would have had you check out the trunk to make sure the dead hooker wasn’t there. ~Laura
DAYUMM! I would have pissed myself!
*** Nah, it all happened fast. But now if I was the car that was in front of me I probably would have done more than piss my pants. ~Laura
You were the one that tasered the guy that got dropped next to your car, aren’t you? C’mon, you can tell us. What’s a little tasering between friends?
Forget I said that.
*** I wish I was the one that tasered him! ~Laura
I know how you feel. I wanted to keep a dead hooker in my trunk, but ArmedGeek told me we only post pics of hookers, not actually keep them. Damnit.
Glad you are ok, and better luck getting that shit on video next time. Because knowing you, there will be a “next time”.
*** HAHA @ there will be a next time. ~Laura
Some gals have all the luck! I would love to have seen that whole thing going down. I can’t believe you didn’t think to take pics, or that you didn’t pull your taser out and offer to help the Po-Po. That would have been way cool!
*** HA! I wasn’t pulling out any weapon with that many cops around. ~Laura
How cool!
I roll up my dead hookers in rugs and drop them off at those Goodwill collection bins.
*** HAHAHA! That would get too expensive buying rugs though. ~Laura
How exciting! And it’s great that you or your car did get damaged. I hope that guy in front of you is okay.
*** Yeah, me too. ~Laura
Curtal Friar’s right. If you’d had a video of just Some of that, it would have hit the ground running at youtube !
*** I don’t know how much I would have caught. AND I have one of those Flip video cameras in my puse I am always for getting about!! ~Laura
Totally off topic, but the beer braised beef was Teh Awesomeness!!
Oh, and apparently one of your flying monkeys was loose around here, but was finally tranq’ed.
http://radio.woai.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=119078&article=7599674
Try to keep them in line, ok?
*** That little shit. I told him to just go get some roast for me, and hurry back with it. I am so glad your roast turned out! I was even going to email you and ask because I hate to recommend something and then people go “Ewww, what the hell, is she crazy?” And I am, but I know good stuff. ~Laura
I would have loved to see the asshole get tased.
*** It was excellent. ~Laura
Woo girl, I’m glad you’re okay!
*** Thanks. ~Laura
I’ll give you twenty bucks if you can honestly say you didn’t mutter “Run and tell THAT, homeboy!” under your breath when the dude got Tasered.
**** HAHAHAHA! Homeboy, home home homeboy! Pssst..I LURVE my ringtone! ~Laura
Weren’t you even mildly concerned that one of the bad guys would have pulled you out of your car and sped away. Leaving you to look like a dork on the side of the road. They do that all the time in the movies.
*** Nah, the cops were all over behind and beside me. My doors stay locked and I really never felt I was at risk. ~Laura
Did the local excuse for news actually explain what was going on here? I mean, yeah, crackheads sometimes wear clothes and all, and for all I know one of the wrecked cars had a dead hooker in the trunk, but usually these things don’t happen for the sheer hell of it – unless, of course, it’s a day with a D in it.
*** NO! I searched the news last night and today! No mention! ~Laura
Holy Holy Shit! you really need to move out of the city gurlfriend. Please dont get killed before I get back. I would really like to see you again. I would have definitely pissed my pants… at least!!!!.
*** This happened by work! And yes, I do need to move. ~Laura
Too bad you did not see the bad dudes beat down by the police. Every SOB in the fleeing car should be charged with assult with a deadly weapon (the car) or if the guy in the other car was injured they should be charged with attemted murder. At the very least they deserved a hickory shampoo.
*** At the very least. ~Laura
Dang! Some peole have ALL the fun!
*** It was kinda fun. ~Laura
Did the bad guy getting tased piss his pants or start bawling?
Glad you were not hurt in all of this.
*** He was crying. Thanks! ~Laura
Wow! Very cool. I’ve never seen someone tasered. LOL.
That kind of thing is why I always keep my car doors locked. Wouldn’t want that idiot trying to jump in the car even with police all around.
*** Yes, my doors stay locked. I had no fear of the dude because the cops were RIGHT THERE. It was cool to see, because I have been itching to use mine. ~Laura
HOLY SHIT are you kidding me with this? WOW.
I would have immediately starting taking pics and flaunted my press badge and … wait… did you say someone had guns and shit? Oh. Yeah I would have tried to crawl under the seat. and gotten stuck. And my boss would have hated me for not getting pics.
*** Ha! It happened so fast, I never even thought about taking pics! ~Laura