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I know most of you have been enjoying autumn-like weather, and as I wipe the sweat from my brow all I can say is, “Shut the hell up about your autumn-like weather.” Gah. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

It was a busy holiday weekend. And by “busy holiday weekend” I mean I stayed home and cleaned my house for three days. And by “cleaned my house” I mean I crashed on my couch and watched movies. Richelle and I did go see ‘The Last Exorcism’ which sucked big green donkey balls. What the hell, Hollywood? Make a decent horror flick, will ya? Please.


But something fantastic did happen. You know how I belong to all these social networks, like Twitter and Facebook and I’m like not social at all so I’m never in there? Well, things are about to change. Feast your eyes on this:



FaceBook Clooney


Voodoo does work, y’all! Today we’re friends on Facebook, tomorrow we’ll be real life dating, and by “real life dating” I mean naked on a yacht in Italy. The succubus WHORE will be gone. And by “gone” I mean, well, um, never you mind what I mean.

33 Comments
 

33 Responses to I know most of you have been enjoying autumn-like weather, and as I wipe the sweat from my brow all I can say is, “Shut the hell up about your autumn-like weather.” Gah.

  1. Jennifer says:

    HELL YEAH! lol
    I saw The Last Exorcism too and it did suck big green ones!
    *** Indeed it did. ~Laura

  2. Joe the Blog Stalker says:

    And so it begins…
    *** YES! It certainly does! ~Laura

  3. Mr. Bingley says:

    It was 57 degrees when I woke up yesterday. 57.
    I drank HOT COFFEE and wore a FLEECE because it was cold in my house.
    *** OH. MY. GOD. WTF? Like I need to hear this! Damn. ~Laura

  4. Mary Beth says:

    WOOHOO! You and George on a yacht!
    *** I’m on a boat! ~Laura

  5. Tink says:

    It’s about time he noticed you. You have been stalking I mean, Trying to get his attention long enough. He is finally waking up!!!!! YEAH !!!!
    *** YEAH! ~Laura

  6. Curtal Friar says:

    Hmmmmm…..yeah, but what if you were having this really great time naked on a yacht in Italian waters with George Clooney, but then woke up (ala Inception style) and found yourself in the Gulf of Mexico naked on a 20 foot motorboat with Danny DeVito?
    *** MOTHER OF GOD! Oh, the humanity! ~Laura

  7. Just remember: now that you will eventually usurp that succubus whore’s place, there will always be some other whore waiting to usurp YOU. Life is “All About Eve”, girl, so watch your back!!
    And hotter than hell here, even with the rain ;)
    *** Girl, I will watch my back, that’s for sure. ~Laura

  8. CGHill says:

    Lucky you. All I ever get on Facebook is other people’s FarmVille notifications.
    *** OMG Aren’t those annoying as hell? ~Laura

  9. Erik says:

    Laura – you are SOOOO in there, with whoever manages George’s FB page. Now you need to start posting your stuff for George on FB! Really go for it!
    And you may want to think about posting stuff like “George is kind of cute, but I don’t know if I would let him….”. You know, the whole reverse pychology stuff angle. (Because, like, if I had women always throwing themselves at me, I would totally want the one who didn’t want me!)
    And probably get involved in some charity need so that George can jump in and bring it to light. You know, like maybe….Indian physics or something…I dunno.
    *** Ooo or Stick Science research. Thank you for the advice. I must now go into “coy” mode. ~Laura

  10. Jan says:

    Well, if you count mid-50′s and pouring rain to be autumn, yesterday was certainly autumn-like! Doesn’t look much better today, either. I would dearly love to see some more sunshine before the gloom and wet of winter set in…
    *** You can have some of our sunshine. And heat. And humidity. ~Laura

  11. Janie Jones says:

    Totally awesome, you go girl!!
    However, I just couldn’t help but wonder if there is a wiener dog out there on Facebook posing as George Clooney. I mean, there are some real weirdos out there who will put up any photo and say it is their own. They will even go so far as to photoshop their heads onto the photos of others. Can you believe that? And if that isn’t crazy enough, then there are people who live totally fictitious lives via Facebook. I know that yourself, being totally naive and innocent of such deviousness, could be taken in, so just a friendly tip. I’d hate for you to open your eyes in the midst of getting hot and heavy on your naked cruise only to discover it was just Jack’s evil twin wearing a George Clooney mask and panting in your face. But I’m sure that this is not the case here. It’s got to be totally legit.
    Now that all your years of shyly waiting in the shadows is over, I have just one thing left to wonder: which song should be played as you march down the aisle at your wedding, right now I’m thinking The Tide is High, or One Way or Another. Two good Blondie classics.
    I wonder what George will prefer? Hey, now you can ask him!
    Sincerest Congrats!
    *** Snoop Dogg’s Gin and Juice will be playing and I just can not believe that anyone would pose as someone else on the Internet! That’s just crazy talk! I think you are totally mistaken. No one would every photoshop a pic of their head on someone elses body! That’s simply insane. You should see a doctor about that paranoia. Ha! ~Laura

  12. garnet says:

    My weekend was boring too but I didn’t get a friend add from George!
    *** Na na na! ~Laura

  13. rathead says:

    How cool is that!!! You are one step closer. I know you about pee’d in your pants or something else…..
    *** Nah. I knew he always loved me. He just needs to realize it. ~Laura

  14. Nicole says:

    Congrats on your FB win!
    Now, write up a post on what is good horror. :) You and I have differed on almost every horror movie that’s been talked about and I want to know why!!
    *** OH MY GOD that’s right, you thought Last Exorcism was okay! Gah gurl. You do need a lesson in horror! So I’ll write up a story about my sex life right away. Ha! ~Laura

  15. zombie mom says:

    I love it!!! Its not voodoo baby, its kismet. How could George NOT friend you. Unless its really the latest succubi trying to keep tabs on her destiny by monitoring your FB activities?
    OK me giving you fake relationship advice is about as hilarious as your childrearing tidbits… I am queen of the dead when it comes to romance. And I say that with pride not sorrow.
    *** I LOVE giving childrearing advice, but I need for you to sign a waiver of sorts releasing me from all responsibility. ~Laura

  16. Stacy says:

    You should write love notes on his wall everyday. lol
    *** I just might. ~Laura

  17. dick says:

    “and by “real life dating” I mean naked on a yacht in Italy.”
    What’s the big deal? I’ve been sleeping with George for a while now and have to confess, he’s like a dead fish in the sack.
    *** Ha! No dude, that’s an actual dead fish that you wish was George. ~Laura

  18. Redmomma says:

    People talk shit about George, but he sure is one handsome man.
    *** Yes he is. ~Laura

  19. notamuse(d) says:

    Enjoy it while you can ’cause when George finds out you didn’t go to see his movie this weekend he’s gonna unfriend you real fast! I’m not jealous at all I’m just telling you this ’cause I love you.
    *** SHHHHHHHhhh! Umm when I said “The Last Exorcism” I meant The American. Yeah, that’s it. Oh and it didn’t suck. ~Laura

  20. Janet Redmond says:

    I saw The American and now I want George Clooney.
    *** OH HELLS NO. Don’t make me use my voodoo on you. ~Laura

  21. Haha. I was friends with some “famous” people once too. Be careful on that yacht. He might not be the 100% clooney you’re hoping for! ;)
    ** I just simply can’t believe there’s fakes on the Internet. HA! ~Laura

  22. Stella says:

    Clooney is dreamy.
    *** Yes he is. ~Laura

  23. Stevie says:

    The Last Exorcism was pretty bad. The ending was stupid.
    *** The ending was pretty bad. ~Laura

  24. Dede says:

    Hell, I just want to be on a yacht in Italy.
    *** I’d settle for that too. ~Laura

  25. Rosie Green says:

    YAY! Be sure to keep us up to date when you’re in Italy!
    ** I will try, but I may be kind of busy. HA! ~Laura

  26. Teresa says:

    Hells bells I’ll take Italy and no yacht but I do hope you and George have a terrific time together… you were meant for each other.
    *** Thank yiou. I think so too. ~Laura

  27. sheila says:

    That movie did suck. I thought it would be about a real possession, or at least POSSESSION- not that BS.
    *** I know, right? The ending was horrible. ~Laura

  28. Pat says:

    I think I’d better say a rosary for George.
    *** He loves me, he just doesn’t know it yet. ~Laura

  29. SB Smith says:

    Awesome !
    Make sure you post some pictures from Italy.
    I’ve been wanting to tell you about this story Mel Ferrer told on the Tonight Show years ago. He and George Clooney were friends growing up. I guess this took place when they were in their upper teens. Sometimes when their parents or a relative threw parties he and George would sneak into the coat, hat, and or purse room with a Polaroid camera. They would look for anyone’s reading glasses that might be in a coat pocket. When they found some, they took turns wearing the glasses on their umm…privates…the nose always being the cock in order to take close-up pictures of the “face”. Then they put the glasses back where they found them…along with the polaroid of the picture !
    No one ever knew they did that until the Tonight Show announcement. I had to wonder how many people watching that hopped up to get the picture if that happened to them and they still had it.
    (No way to identify it was them in the pic, so no use selling them.)
    *** HAHA! I never heard that. ~Laura

  30. SB Smith says:

    Shit !
    Wrong Ferrer !
    I meant Miguel Ferrer told that story about him and George Clooney.
    Jose’ Ferrer was his dad.
    Sorry.

  31. Joy says:

    I read this post and realized I got WAY too excited about GC accepting your friend request. Oh, whatthehell, I AM excited for you! YAY!!!
    *** HAHA! Thanks and yes, YAY!! ~Laura

  32. mel says:

    Oh Dear God, y’all… if he ever leaves her a message on facebook, we’ll never see her again. Her facebook page will be all she ever sees.
    *** YES! I’ll stay there just refreshing the page constantly! ~Laura

  33. no one says:

    I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but Clooney doesn’t have a Facebook page. He doesn’t have any kind of page, no Twitter or anything. So it was a faux Clooney who friended you, but hey, maybe he’s a nice faux Clooney.
    *** Yeah, I know, he hates social networks. I know more about him than ya think : ) But the fake one friended me! YAY! Hyperbole! ~Laura

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