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I am too tired to think of a fitting title so I’m just going to go with “George Clooney is my lover” because it just feels right. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I suffer from insomnia about every three to four months or so. It’s horrible. If you’ve never had it you need to thank whatever God you worship. I go for weeks with sleeping, maybe if I’m lucky, four hours a night, but it’s usually more like three. Some nights zero. I’ve tried the big sleeping aids like Ambien and Lunesta and they suck. Oh sure they knocked me out in the beginning but then the weirdness began to happen. I’d forget how I got to work in the mornings, I mean zero recollection of the drive and once on Ambien I woke up with my clothes still on, well, one leg was outside my jeans and apparently I had shaved it. One leg. I know. What the fuck? Anyway, I had to stop with the meds and just learn to deal with it best I can. Being an insomniac makes you a zombie. You’re super, super tired but sleep doesn’t come so you just run on auxiliary batteries you never knew you had, and you look at the world through a haze of exhaustion and a constant low buzzing sound in your ears, and you just function on auto pilot hoping you don’t kill anyone because even with a bulbous head, you know you’re way too pretty for prison. A plus side to insomnia is you have more time to think of ways to aggravate your pets.



Jack

34 Comments
 

34 Responses to I am too tired to think of a fitting title so I’m just going to go with “George Clooney is my lover” because it just feels right.

  1. Jennifer says:

    I LOVE JACK!
    I hope you get some good sleep soon! Insomnia is just terrible.
    *** Yes it is. ~Laura

  2. Michelle says:

    I hope this bout of insomnia ends soon. For all of your sakes.
    *** HA! I know Jack’s onboard with you there. ~Laura

  3. Mr. Bingley says:

    Geesh. I’ve known a few folks who Ambien turned into zombies like that.
    maybe you should get a dvd of political speeches? that would put me to sleep in no time…
    *** I may have to try that…NOT. ~Laura

  4. Joe the Blog Stalker says:

    Poor Jack. I hope you feel better soon.
    *** Thanks. I will. ~Laura

  5. me says:

    My neighbor eats chocolate before she goes to bed. it elevates her sugar and she basically passes out…. sounds like a lot more fun that those pills. geezzzz.
    *** Yes if I had diabetes and wanted to play Russian Roulette I would do that too. ~Laura

  6. LeeAnn says:

    Whenever I can’t sleep, I try to soothe myself with thoughts of how my enemies will meet their end, in gory graphic horrid details. Then the underattended funerals, and to cherry the top of the sundae, how big the unsuspecting insurance check going to me will be, followed by that imaginary shopping spree. My exes have now died by fire, flood, famine, and spontaneous hedgehogs in the prostate.
    *** I have already ran all the senerios of my exe’s demises in my head. I even bundled them all up and put each on one a sheep’s back and counted them. Even revenge has lost it’s soothing effect. Now that’s fucked up. ~Laura

  7. lifeshighwy says:

    I hope you get off of insomnia cycle quickly and get back to your form of normal.
    Jack looks awesome with long hair. Perhaps you could teach yourself how to add hair extensions.
    *** HA @ my form of normal. Girl, I can do weave, he just won’t hold still lone enough. ~Laura

  8. me says:

    Yeah! she drinks Red Bulls and caffeine drinks all day and then does the chocolate thing at night.and she is Diabetic.. people are pretty stupid huh!
    *** Yeah, that’s kind of..ummm.. crazy. ~Laura

  9. September says:

    Jack is sooooooo freakin bless-id cute. I love him. He should have been a show dog! like a short Lassie or Cujo.. HA!
    *** I still can’t believe how grey he’s getting, he’s not that old… but I guess I know why. ~Laura

  10. I suffer from insomnia every so often, so I can relate a bit. Sorry you are going through that, but I’m even more sorry Jack doesn’t have opposable thumbs. Heh!
    *** Ha! I see where everyone’s allegiances fall. ~Laura

  11. Tara says:

    OH NOES JACK! It’s not even October yet!
    *** Holidays come early for Jack. ~Laura

  12. Yabu (EOTIS) says:

    You want me to send you some Burns Blue Beads Clear? You will sleep, but might not feel so good when you wake up. I’ll send you jar if you like.
    *** Ha! No I can do “feeling like crap” on my own. ~Laura

  13. THE Mr. Bill says:

    If poor Jack ever figures out Velcro, you may be in trouble…
    ps – hope you sleep soon, insomnia is teh suck.
    pps – Jack looks like he’s half asleep…you woke him up for that, didn’t you?
    *** Ha! Nah, the flash made him close them. He squints anymore everytime he sees a camera. He’s his own photobomber. And thanks, I hope I do too. ~Laura

  14. Curtal Friar says:

    I got diagnosed with sleep apnea about a year ago, but till they figured out that’s what was wrong with me, they had put me on Ambien, thinking it would give me better sleep. And I can attest to the “twilight world” it puts you in. I got up one morning at 0430 as usual, got dressed, went to work, clocked in, and went back to my office. Two hours later, I realized that I was a complete dumbass and didn’t need to be at work on Sunday morning, so I clocked out and went home, and then had to explain to my boss the next day why I came in for two hours on Sunday.
    Then there was the wide-awake dreamworld my mind would slip into at odd times.
    Anyway, hope you get over the insomnia quick. Don’t lose any sleep over it. :)
    *** Isn’t Ambien the craziest stuff? It spooked me for sure. I have had a sleep study, it came up negative for apnea, so that just leaves me with meds and, umm, NO THANK YOU. ~Laura

  15. Mary Beth says:

    Jack is adorable! I’m sure if he had thumbs he’d be more apt to steal your car than shoot you.
    *** Ha! ~Laura

  16. Erik says:

    On the whole zombie angle of insomnia(cause that’s how my brain works)…
    Maybe there is no such thing as zombies, just people who suffer from insomnia? Like, they aren’t dead, they are just really tired and kinda pissed off that there is nothing on TV at 3AM? And maybe eating brains is like a REALLY strong sleeping pill?
    Now Laura, no offense, but if I see you coming at me all “I want to eat your brains” – sister, your head is coming off! Nothing personal, just sayin’….
    *** You have my permission to cut off my head if that happens. Not that you need it. ~Laura

  17. Jan says:

    Poor Jack! He does look cute that way though.
    I have the twichy leg syndrome thingie, so I can relate to not being able to sleep. I’m surprised that I haven’t worn a track in the carpet from pacing. Ambien doesn’t have all the interesting effects on me that other people have, but it takes too much to put me under far enough to overcome the twitchies. Then too long to get it out of my system, so I can only take it if I don’t have to go anywhere the next day. Feeling like a zombie all the time sucks. I just had to remake a bunch of solutions today because I totally screwed everything up yesterday from not thinking straight. Ugh.
    *** Lack of sleep just sucks. It really really does. ~Laura

  18. rathead says:

    Looks like you woke Jack up to play dress up. Poor thing. I feel your pain on the not sleeping. It must be a middle aged thing. Most women that I talk to these days dont sleep. My spouse equivalent says that I dont have a clear conscience. BS, I say.
    *** Who the hell you calling middle-age? Shuddup. Ha! ~Laura

  19. Nicole says:

    Yay, Jack pictures! :)
    I had horrible problems sleeping a few years ago. Tried the Ambien. After having a huge discussion with the hub about some fairly serious, emotionally wrenching stuff and then totally remembering none of it the next day I quit taking it. I tried to have the same conversation with him again, much to his dismay. :)
    I’m sure you’ve tried all the non drug remedies like chamomile tea or soothing sound “music.” Those never worked for me, either. Brains are irritating things, aren’t they? :)
    *** Mine has always gave me problems. BIG SURPRISE. ~Laura

  20. MorningGlory says:

    You have my sympathy on the insomnia thing. I can relate to Jan’s twitchy leg thing, too. Thankfully, I only get that a couple times a year. The worst part of it is trying to explain it to someone who’s never had it. Jan, try increasing your potassium intake – it usually works for me.
    Laura, a shot of bourbon at bedtime is a good sleep aid. Just sayin’.
    Jack is an awesome wizard. Can he do real magic? He might conjure up some opposable thumbs, and then where will you be?
    *** Probably in the trunk of my car wrapped tightly in a rug.~Laura

  21. CGHill says:

    What with hallucinations and other weird physical manifestations, about all I can say at this point is “Don’t let Jack find the Ambien.”
    *** HAHAHA! I knwo! God, can you imagine? HA! ~Laura

  22. garnet says:

    He’s a mighty handsome dog even when he’s plotting murder.
    *** Ha! Yes he’s a cutey. ~Laura

  23. Stacy says:

    Whenever you post a pic of Jack I call my little daughter over to look at him and she squeals “JACK!”
    *** Jack would love that. But lawd, you better cover up my words here before she comes running over unless you want her learning some colorful words. ~Laura

  24. cbullitt says:

    Damn, Laura. You didn’t tell us Jack was Nicolas Cage’s stunt double for that sorcery movie.
    Sweet gig. How was the catering?
    *** I wish I could get him a job in Hollywood! Damn that’d be nice. ~Laura

  25. Mr. Bingley says:

    Maybe he could get a part in next year’s “Harry Potter And The Skank Ho”, the thrilling tale of how Young Pubescenty Potter rides a dragon to Lake Como…
    OOoooo and I could run into George there and my pants could conveniently fall down…wait…what? ~Laura

  26. Becky says:

    If Jack only knew how many people love him!
    *** Yeah, where are you guys when I need a dog sitter? ~Laura

  27. Froggy says:

    I like your title even though you were too tired to think of one. lol
    *** Thanks. ~Laura

  28. Trina says:

    He is a very cute doxie. I hope you feel better soon!
    *** Thanks, I’m sure I will. ~Laura

  29. Brenda says:

    Does this mean Jack has more Halloween outfits to come?
    *** It does indeed! ~Laura

  30. zombie mom says:

    Dudette- I am a full on insomniac- it blows and its why I am a total fucking zombie. I love the people who suggest exercise and meditation. Actually I hate them and want to shove them off tall buildings.
    Have you tried weed? Oh wait, did I just ask that?
    The upside of insomnia- getting to hang out with the dog between 3-5am in the backyard last night- awesome.
    *** I wish. I would so do some weed if testing wouldn’t have me lose my job. This is South Carolina, not California. Dammit to hell. ~Laura

  31. mel says:

    Well,
    1: That’s about what I get, 3 to 4 hours a night. Just can’t get to sleep. Then about once a month my body crashes hard and I’ll sleep like 12 or 14 blissful hours.
    B: My oldest daughter tried that Ambien too and it made her to insane crap, too, so I’ll pass on that.
    and 3: POOR JACK but OMG that’s so cute.
    *** OMG I wish I could sleep 12 to 14 hours just once. Oh, and he is not POOR Jack ya’ll. He is a little rowdy shit. So he gets a little payback, that’s all. Ha! ~Laura

  32. zombie mom says:

    Yeah, not to rub it in, but California is pretty awesome that way. My first client was a group of doctors who prescribed the MM cards so weed was totally legal for people with things like insomnia, cancer, etc. They are, in my mind, total heroes. Unfortunately, I don’t love the effects- other than the sleeping part. So instead I just zombie out sans sleep.
    *** Yeah, I don’t like that whole munchie, dry mouth thing. ~Laura

  33. zonker says:

    Shit, if I did that to my pets, I’d have trouble sleeping at night, too.
    *** HA! HA! ~Laura

  34. SB Smith says:

    Hey…that’s not right ! Jack needs a Wizard hat!
    You know,…if you’re not careful, Jack’s going to replace one of your Almond Roca’s with a kitty turd rolled in crushed almonds.
    (snicker)
    *** HAHAH! Like he’d give up a cat turd. ~Laura

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