Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives

— Laura

I’ve basically stopped blogging on weekends because you people ignore me, but I wanted to show my action-packed Saturday morning and make the few of you that do come by all jealous and shit

By Laura On January 2, 2010 · 17 Comments

This morning I took down my tree and stored it away for another year.

After those two seconds were over, I went to go get my hair cut. I was prepared to stab the new stylist I found that works on Saturdays- but I didn’t have to!

Then I stopped by the grocery store on my way home to pick up a few things. There I saw something amazing. Only my favorite candy in the whole wide world- Smarties. But not just regular Smarties, this was T-Rex size Smarties. Don’t believe me? I took a pic of it beside my iPhone just to give you an idea of the size of these. Did you know I have an iPhone?

Speaking of T-Rex (not THE T-Rex though) I opened some junk mail I had thrown down on the desk and saw this:

Robotic Dinosaurs at the State Museum! I didn’t know they were there! I am so going.

So far it’s been a pretty good 2010. But just wait. Some fucker will come along and ruin it any minute now.

17 Comments

17 Responses to I’ve basically stopped blogging on weekends because you people ignore me, but I wanted to show my action-packed Saturday morning and make the few of you that do come by all jealous and shit

Jim - PRS says:

January 2, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Congresspeeps’ favorite candy = Stupidies.

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Doni says:

January 2, 2010 at 4:09 pm

OMG! THE HAIR !!!!! NOT THE HAIR.. I cant wait to see it. And the Smarties so dont eat them all and get sick… again. So if you SHARE you wont get all sick.. again…..by the way.. Dinosaurs dont like smarties and Apparently neither does George judging by his G-friends.I hope your 2010 is fantastic.

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jw says:

January 2, 2010 at 4:42 pm

Yup. Totally jealous! I would love to have that Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. Care to share where ya got it? Hell, I could just use the box as my Christmas Tree. That would be so cool.
That’s a lot of hair there, gal. Pretty color. No wonder George is devoted to you.
Sooooooo…you have an iPhone do ya?
I think you should go to that museum and toss those T-Rex size smarties to those mechanical dinosaurs and see if they will eat em.
I used to live in a little place in Texas that is known as the Dinosaur Capitol of the World. Or maybe just Texas. You can google it.
Friggin dinos everywhere ya turn.

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D.W. says:

January 2, 2010 at 5:36 pm

I think we should come up with an award for the longest blog post titles and present it to you; you consistently surpass every other blogger in the unisphere with those titles. Personally, I’m jealous
I was a little concerned at the quantity of hair I see in that picture. You’re not going all Sinead O’Connor/Britney with rabies on us, are ya?
Hope everyone’s having a great weekend anyway!

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Nicole says:

January 2, 2010 at 6:17 pm

I have never seen Smarties that size. Too awesome. Take pics of the T-Rexes for us.

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Laura says:

January 2, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Doni- OMG Remember when I skipped lunch and ate some Smarties and went home sick? LOL I hope your 2010 is fantastic.
jw- I got the Charlie Brown Tree at Target. But you can google it and find it online in a lot of places. Did the dinosaurs chase cars there in Texas? I would imagine they would.
D.W.- I will accept all major awards and prizes. I have really long and thick hair. It’s still long after today’s cut. And I hope your weekend is going well!
Nicole- I know, right?! They are awesome! I will take plenty of pics and perhaps some video. I’m going to try to go when there will be less children there. You know, like I plan all my trips anywhere.

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Dave Merriman says:

January 2, 2010 at 11:03 pm

We are NOT ignoring you — we’re simply contemplating your posts so that we can fully appreciate the wit and wisdom of them.
If you’ll go to the dino display while there’re kids there, you can maybe try to feed some of the kids TO the T-Rex, and anything else with teeth.

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Buckskins Rule says:

January 2, 2010 at 11:52 pm

You keep promising not to post on weekends, but here you are again.
As to the hair, the stylist should be stabbed for removing so much of it. A few good jokes there I suppose, but I’d hate to get banned.

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patti says:

January 3, 2010 at 12:06 am

Were those giant smarties? or just a teenie weenie iPhone?

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LisaGinNZ says:

January 3, 2010 at 12:14 am

Found your site the other day – you are so funny!
Have you been to Glenview, Illinois? There is a bar there, on the main street called “The Glenview House” (http://www.glenviewhouse.com/) They serve an excellent drink called “The Smartie” there which taste JUST like the purple smarty. It is actually quite yum, but you do NOT want to drink probably more than 2 or you might puke.
Oh, and we’re not ignoring you on weekends, we’re (?) out doing non computer stuff? tee hee
cheers from a fan in NZ

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Laura says:

January 3, 2010 at 2:11 pm

Dave- I do that at the zoo- at the lion’s display. I’ve been banned.
Buckskins- Haven’t you learned by now that I constantly break my own rules?
Patti- You know you want an iPhone.
Liz- Thanks and welcome! I would so order that drink. And probably end up puking. I get kinda woozy eating Smarties anyway.

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SB Smith says:

January 3, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Did you really cut that much hair off ?!
That dinosaur exhibit sounds fun.
We’ll expect a full report with 8 x 10 color glossies, circles and arrows, and a paragraph on the back.
Heh….Sorry…listened to Alice’s Restaurant awhile back.

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dogette says:

January 3, 2010 at 3:52 pm

I’m SO glad you are posting on weekends even if it’s just occasional and even if I’m the last to find out. The rules of blogging DEMAND to be broken. Fuck those assholes who make rules.
That is some hair there! I’m glad you didn’t have to STAB the stylist. Many a stylist has been stabbed on my watch.
One time (fade, fade, fade) I remember a stylist left some shit on my head too long and it started to get burny. I thought, “Wow, my head is really fucking burning. Ow.”
About 10 minutes later I knew that she’d put some kind of acid on my head but I was too polite (heh! me!) to say anything. I kinda cleared my throat and aimed little “looks of concern” at her from under my HOT dryer. There were little white chunks of dried acid falling onto my shoulders. Meanwhile a few tears rolled down onto the plastic Sack O’ Beauty smock I wore.
Finally she noticed my looks of concern and the white chunks on my shoulders and got me out of the dryer. She took me to the basin and rinsed it all off without saying anything about it!
PS: No damage was done to my hair or my head but I never went back because it was just a matter of time ’til I stabbed her, right?

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Jennifer says:

January 4, 2010 at 6:42 am

I want to see those dinos at the museum too. I heard they’re pretty cool.
Wow that is a lot of hair, but I know you had plenty so I’m not worried. lol
I want an iPhone : (

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Joe the Blog Stalker says:

January 4, 2010 at 7:36 am

I am going to get one of those trees for next year.
That is a lot of hair to be getting cut off in the winter time. You’re going to freeze!

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Rude1 says:

January 5, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Smarties, or as I call them, Canadian Crack, are the most addicting candy in. the. world. My wife hates it when I find the T Rex size ones LOL. I’m immediately on her stab list

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Pat says:

January 8, 2010 at 7:02 pm

I don’t have that much hair ALL OVER MY BODY. Geesh.
Hope you have a great New Year!

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