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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 Just when you thought my Stab Lists couldn’t get any better, what do I do? Add action pics and more cursing that’s what! | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Being off work a few days, getting a shit load of gifts and celebrating the birth of the Baby Jesus has not slowed down the collection of people and things I want to stab. So let’s get to it, shall we?
1. Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. The piece of shit who attempted to blow up a Detroit-bound plane on Christmas Day. Fuck you. I’d like to stab you so hard. Stab you with all my Christmas present knives until I broke every blade off in you. Now, all I can wish for is that you suffer until you are executed.
2. The weather on Christmas Day. It rained ALL day and not just a sprinkle, but an absolute downpour. We were out in it driving to and from J’s parent’s house. We went 4o mph the whole way on the highway.
3. The thermostat at J’s parent’s house. Oh. My. Fucking. God. It was 80 degrees in there AND they had a fire going in the fireplace! They are older folks of course, and they stay cold. Unwrapping my presents caused beads of sweat to start rolling down my head and neck. I passed out, but came to before anyone noticed. Good news is I lost 6 pounds. Bad news is I gained it back after I re-hydrated. Next year I’m wearing a halter top and shorts and bringing my own fan.
4. The hospital I was treated at last month whose very first bill they sent me after my insurance processed threatened me with collections! Yes, the FIRST bill I received from them. STAB.
5. J for saying that I had deleted important blog files off of my computer WHEN I DIDN’T. And if they were so important why didn’t YOU make back-ups, Mr. IT person? Watch out. You armed me, remember?
6. This truck driver. I couldn’t believe it so I held up my iPhone and snapped a pic. The lane on the left is a turn lane. Stupid non-driving bastard.
I thought of your stab list as I was headed east on 26 and had to screech to a halt 10 miles out from I-95 today. Stupid traffic. Cost me an extra 45mins coming back from Atlanta.
I waved at you, however! )
1) When they finally dump his ass in prison, he may well find himself getting a lot of conjugal visits from big dudes he doesn’t want them from.
2) Better rain than snow; rain shovels itself.
3) I’d pay cash money for the photos. :-p
4) They can’t help it — if they had any idea what they were doing, they’d be working for real companies.
5) Burn HIS files to a CD, then delete them, and tell him the same thing.
6) RPG.
I thought I was the only person who took pictures of the vehicles that piss me off by driving badly. I want to make a Wall of Shame blog for these idiots and post all of my pictures with detailed accounts of their moving violations. But somehow, I suspect that if I started that project, I would become even more of an angry driver than I already am.
Melissa: If you enjoy pics of people driving badly, enjoy some seriously good cussing, and rarely find sites that actually DO make you LOL, get your butt over to http://stankleberry.blogspot.com/
Archives! Read it all.
A bunch of us found the guy’s not-really-updated site a while back and we all LOLd ourselves silly and linked to him like insane people. Srsly, he’s a RIOT and a GOD among angry-traffic-tripwire bloggers.
I love the banner…..
monkey should have some Champagne… I was at my Mom’s Christmas day. Her heat was on 900′. I cooked a prime rib. the Oven was on 325 for 2 hours or more… then the boiling of other stuff. Causing the thermastat to soar over 1000′. I usually go dressed up and by the time we get to the table I’m naked….. makes for interesting table conversation…
I just gave a collections agency $450 for medical bills just to end the monthly battles with the hospital…I’ve had to call them EVERY FUCKING MONTH to remind them that I’m on a payment plan – THAT THEY SET UP – for the nearly $2000 bill I recieved for my surgery last April. Every month, they would cash my check for my monthly payment…and then promptly turn me over to collections for non-payment. The funniest part? When I called the collections agency to pay off the balance, what I owed was $100 less than what the bill stated…because the hospital has cashed a check from me since turning me over to collections. Seriously, assholes? STAB.
I’ve come by again to soak up some more of the fine, fine cursing. That second pic, especially, really rocked. I felt I was there. You have a gift, you really do.
I wish I’d thought of a stab list. I have a First Clip Club, which now that I think about it might be a bit too noisy. However, there is less chance of getting ick on my nice new sweater, so I’ve got that going for me.
Which is nice.
Hmm…The Semi in your lane happens a lot all over, it is frustrating. Just be glad you are smart and not the idoit who follows them and screams at them. A guy did that at my work and the trucker beat the shit out of him because he called him the “n” word several times. Nice blog good way to vent safely. Keep it up.
I thought of your stab list as I was headed east on 26 and had to screech to a halt 10 miles out from I-95 today. Stupid traffic. Cost me an extra 45mins coming back from Atlanta.
)
I waved at you, however!
1) When they finally dump his ass in prison, he may well find himself getting a lot of conjugal visits from big dudes he doesn’t want them from.
2) Better rain than snow; rain shovels itself.
3) I’d pay cash money for the photos. :-p
4) They can’t help it — if they had any idea what they were doing, they’d be working for real companies.
5) Burn HIS files to a CD, then delete them, and tell him the same thing.
6) RPG.
Gah. I hate the inlaws house in the winter. His mom wears shorts in January because his dad has to have the heat up to sun like levels.
I thought I was the only person who took pictures of the vehicles that piss me off by driving badly. I want to make a Wall of Shame blog for these idiots and post all of my pictures with detailed accounts of their moving violations. But somehow, I suspect that if I started that project, I would become even more of an angry driver than I already am.
Stab them all with your new Christmas knives!! (Sorry J) lol
I, for one, love the addition of action photos and the abundance of cursing is like the cherry on top. Bravo!
Melissa: If you enjoy pics of people driving badly, enjoy some seriously good cussing, and rarely find sites that actually DO make you LOL, get your butt over to http://stankleberry.blogspot.com/
Archives! Read it all.
A bunch of us found the guy’s not-really-updated site a while back and we all LOLd ourselves silly and linked to him like insane people. Srsly, he’s a RIOT and a GOD among angry-traffic-tripwire bloggers.
I love the banner…..
monkey should have some Champagne… I was at my Mom’s Christmas day. Her heat was on 900′. I cooked a prime rib. the Oven was on 325 for 2 hours or more… then the boiling of other stuff. Causing the thermastat to soar over 1000′. I usually go dressed up and by the time we get to the table I’m naked….. makes for interesting table conversation…
Yes, the photos help us visualize the rage. That motherfucker trucker needed stabbing for sure.
I just gave a collections agency $450 for medical bills just to end the monthly battles with the hospital…I’ve had to call them EVERY FUCKING MONTH to remind them that I’m on a payment plan – THAT THEY SET UP – for the nearly $2000 bill I recieved for my surgery last April. Every month, they would cash my check for my monthly payment…and then promptly turn me over to collections for non-payment. The funniest part? When I called the collections agency to pay off the balance, what I owed was $100 less than what the bill stated…because the hospital has cashed a check from me since turning me over to collections. Seriously, assholes? STAB.
I just wanted to tell you that I love your blog and I really enjoy your stab lists.
I’ve come by again to soak up some more of the fine, fine cursing. That second pic, especially, really rocked. I felt I was there. You have a gift, you really do.
omg you got knives… that is fantastic!! lol
I wish I’d thought of a stab list. I have a First Clip Club, which now that I think about it might be a bit too noisy. However, there is less chance of getting ick on my nice new sweater, so I’ve got that going for me.
Which is nice.
Hmm…The Semi in your lane happens a lot all over, it is frustrating. Just be glad you are smart and not the idoit who follows them and screams at them. A guy did that at my work and the trucker beat the shit out of him because he called him the “n” word several times. Nice blog good way to vent safely. Keep it up.