Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives

— Laura

In lieu of a Stab List I’ve been forced to think about a different career path, where hopefully both can be combined

By Laura On December 14, 2009 · 11 Comments

I got an email late last Friday stating that the place where I work was having a meeting about the “future” of the company on Monday morning. Uh oh, right? Well, because I’m a pro-active sort of person, I spent the weekend thinking about my own “future.” Earlier, when I gave career advice, I said don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the one you want and I photoshopped my bulbous head onto a pirate. Pirates are cool and everything, and they get to stab people on a pretty regular basis, but then it occurred to me that pirates are mostly in the Caribbean or Africa. It’s all tropical and hot there. I hate heat and humidity. And I’m not that into ocean travel. This next career move, I am going to put more thought into it. I want a job that won’t just pay the bills but one I look forward to going to, enjoying what I’m doing. I have to be realistic. I’m getting older and I need to pick a career field that I’m not only qualified for, but one which will give me job satisfaction. These are my top three choices:

Ninja
Ninja

Warrior Princess

Viking
Viking

And since I already own a taser, this is my fall-back choice:

Bounty Hunter

11 Comments

11 Responses to In lieu of a Stab List I’ve been forced to think about a different career path, where hopefully both can be combined

Gargs the PooPoo Head says:

December 14, 2009 at 11:24 pm

I think you have nothing to worry about. I totally see you as a bounty hunter.
I don’t see you in “collections”. First time someone told you to fuck off, I would be bailing your ass out.

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Dave Merriman says:

December 14, 2009 at 11:32 pm

Have you given any thought to “Guillotine Operator”? It’s not exactly stabby, but close…

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Jennifer says:

December 15, 2009 at 6:46 am

You would make a great assassin I think, but that bounty hunter pic is funny as hell.

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Joe the Blog Stalker says:

December 15, 2009 at 7:24 am

I vote Viking! But those boots might be hard to pillage and plunder in.

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mary beth says:

December 15, 2009 at 7:39 am

The bounty hunter photo is hysterical.

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Laura says:

December 15, 2009 at 7:46 am

Dave- I actually googled executioner and they all wore hoods so it wouldn’t have been a very good pic to photoshop my giant head on.

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Tracy says:

December 15, 2009 at 11:01 am

Girl, I can see you now as a bounty hunter. The only thing I am worried about is whether you were going to bring them in (DEAD OR ALIVE). LOL

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Richelle says:

December 15, 2009 at 11:05 am

You would be so dangerous with a sword!
If you became a bounty hunter I bet it wouldn’t be too long before you’re were hunting people you used to work with. LOL!

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patti says:

December 15, 2009 at 11:07 am

Well darlin, you said it, you are getting older – and take it from someone older than you, the knees will not allow you to do much ninja, or warrior princess for very long – you’d be looking for another job all too soon. Now the Viking shows some promise, as the outfit seems to indicate there wouldn’t be much pillaging in this particular form of vikingology – though Norway and such are a bit tippy to the cold and frosty side.
But, of the choices here, the career path with the most long-term promise seems to be bounty hunter. You and Dawg could go places.

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Buckskins Rule says:

December 15, 2009 at 3:42 pm

I’m leaning toward the Viking. Nice boots, and uh…the whole cleavage thing.

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Pat says:

December 16, 2009 at 9:52 pm

Look at those guns, and I don’t mean in your holster! Yowser! You’d make a good bounty hunter! I mean, you can already shoot, right? And you’d be good going after those people: Wanted: DEAD or ALIVE.

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