Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives

— Laura

At least Freddie Kruger hasn’t made an appearance…YET

By Laura On June 18, 2009 · 12 Comments

This is for Jennifer who requested that I make a list of the men I have made out with in my sleep. That’s right, while I was dreaming, not while I was unconscious. That entry will be done another day. It’s not my imaginary boyfriend list either, because I have no control over who was all up in my koolaid while I snoozed. Here’s a dozen ( ! ) in no particular order, and let me just say right up front, I am a REM whore.

George Clooney – Duh.

David Beckham – Until he informed me I was also the nanny and I woke up screaming.

Mister Rogers – Yes. Fred Rogers. It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood that night.

Ozzy Osbourne – No shit. I couldn’t understand a word he said either.

Jean-Luc Picard – Not Patrick Stewart. Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. Maybe it was the unitard, I don’t know. All I know is his phaser was on stunning that night.

Clint Eastwood – Not old Clint, but Dirty Harry Clint.

Brad Pitt- Not breeder Brad, but Legends of the Fall Brad.

Bono – The U2 singer. I think he kept his funky glasses on too.

Denzel Washington – Who hasn’t?

Cary Grant – The young one. I watch a lot of old movies. He was a hottie. And speaking of old movies…

Atticus Finch – Not Gregory Peck (though he’s totally a hottie too), but the father in ‘To Kill A Mockingbird.’ I think Boo Radley watched.

Barney Rubble – Yes, Fred Flintsone’s neighbor. I dreamt in animation once, and apparently I’m an adulterous slut in cartoon world too.

12 Comments

12 Responses to At least Freddie Kruger hasn’t made an appearance…YET

Gargs Questioning his Sanity says:

June 18, 2009 at 8:09 pm

GC – Gay
DB – Gay
FR – Neuter
JLP – Yummy, I would so do him.
OO – You are sick
BP – Ummm, not even in your dreams. It was a look alike
Bono – GEEK!
DW – Yummy
CG – Gay
AF – Gay with children
BR – He was so FF’s bitch. GAY!

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Gargs Questioning his Sanity says:

June 18, 2009 at 8:14 pm

I forgot Clint! Yummy!

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midtown miscreant says:

June 18, 2009 at 8:36 pm

And Boo Radley watched..I just hope you werent dressed as a ham.

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Laura says:

June 19, 2009 at 4:40 am

Gargs- Thanks for your opinion of all the menz and stop claiming that most are on your team. You can have Barney though.
Midtown- When am I not? Your comment made me laugh.

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Jennifer says:

June 19, 2009 at 5:33 am

YAY! and LOL! I know this isn’t the whole list, but these are pretty good! LOL @ Barney Rubble!! And wasn’t Brad at his finest hour in looks in Legends of the Fall? OH MY GOD!

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Joe the Blog Stalker says:

June 19, 2009 at 5:37 am

Let’s hope those Bedrock condoms held up and you don’t end up with some kind of strange prehistoric VD. I heard Barney is a real man whore.

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Laura says:

June 19, 2009 at 6:00 am

Jennifer- Yes- the Legends Brad beat all the other Brads hands down.
Joe- You made me choke on my chai tea from laughing. And yes, let’s hope. The last thing I need is having to go to a paleontologist for antibiotics.

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Duane says:

June 19, 2009 at 8:19 am

your mind…Honestly!

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pat says:

June 19, 2009 at 10:25 am

Really? Mister Rogers? Yuk! I hope he took his sweater off! He’s downright scary. And what’s up with Barney Rubble? Are you into short cavemen or what? Or do you like men that yell “Yubba-dubba-do!”

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alison says:

June 19, 2009 at 12:27 pm

You had an affair with Beckham?
WTF
Right, I am so having a dream affair with the Cloon now.
Consider this the start of the dreamtime Cloon Wars
Mmmm Denzel. Might swap in Maximus Decimus Meridius as substitute caveman though.

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Laura says:

June 19, 2009 at 2:24 pm

Pat- I can’t control who I dream about! And, Fred was the one that yabba doo’ed, so the answer is no I reckon.
Alison- Oh hell to the no! You will leave my man out of your dreams! (LOL!) IT IS ON SISTER! I shall be in Beckham’s Armani tightie whities tonight!!! And this time I won’t be the nanny!!!

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daphne says:

June 19, 2009 at 4:53 pm

I must be seriously tweaked, because only Barney Rubble struck me as weird. I’d rather do Betty, if given a choice.
I’d bust a move on the rest of your list, no questions asked. Why wasn’t Johnny Depp on the top ten? He’s so fabulously fuckalicious.
(Please forgive my absence, life’s been monster busy since the kids have been home and I’ve been seriously ignoring all of with my good blogging friends – I feel awful bad.

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