Because May is awesome and so am I, I am here to announce the giveaway. It shall henceforth be called:
THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GIVEAWAY EXTRAVAGANZA
Because J told me the legal liability I’d be subject to, I could not give away a weapon. Dammit. So you’re going to have to buy your own weapons and supplies. So in order to do that, here is a Holy Toast Maker. You press it into a slice of bread, pop it in the toaster and voila, Holy Toast! Then you can sell these pieces of bread with the image of the Virgin Mary on Ebay. Within no time you should have enough cash to stock up on machetes, guns, canned goods and supplies. Be sure to give good feedback to the buyers.
Next we have two books essential in preparing for the rise of the undead. There’s “World War Z: An oral History of the Zombie War” and “The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead.” Both books are full of information vital to surviving the onslaught of zombies that will be
knocking down scratching at your door.
Also here’s a brand spanking new Shaun of the Dead DVD. A funny zombie movie for folks that don’t like to read. I don’t think it’ll help you much in the event of a zombie attack, but as you’re busting a cap in a zombie’s head, or smashing him with a cricket bat, you can reflect back to viewing this film and have a little chuckle to yourself. You should always enjoy your work.
Then we have a Zombie Outbreak Survival Kit made by Zombie Emergency Response Operation (Z.E.R.O.)
It contains 20 feet of “Zombie Outbreak” barricade tape, four warning/hazard signs, eight more warning signs, eight Z.E.R.O cards, two zombie disposal toe tags, one ” In Case of Zombie Attack” information poster, a “Bite Kit” (disinfectant pad and gauze bandage), one Z.E.R.O. ID lapel pin, one glow in the dark Z.E.R.O. sticker and a CD-ROM Electronic Training Supplement.
And because I imagine zombie killing gets you very stinky and I’m pretty certain come the apocalypse there won’t be much soap and running water, I am including in this giveaway two car air fresheners that you can attach to your ammo belt or the beltloops of your Chuck Norris Action Jeans for that
new car smell oh so fresh feeling.
One is a “St. Otto Patron Saint of Parking” air freshener, and the other is a “Damn Nelson Mandela, You smell So Good!” air freshener.
You’re going to have to have some music to get pumped and keep you going once you start slicing through a horde of zombies. For some folks that could be “Eye of the Tiger” for others it may be some Barry Manilow. Hey, I’m not here to judge you, but of course I do. To complete your Zombie Survival Giveaway Extravaganza here’s a $50 iTunes card.
I know you’re asking yourself “Self, how can I get all this zombie survival awesomness?” Well here’s how: leave a comment saying what song you would enjoy listening to while killing the undead.
The giveaway (over $120 value) will end May 11th and be announced sometime that day. The winner shall be chosen by a random generator from comments that you leave here on this entry. You can leave ONE comment a day until I close it on May 11. You must put in your email (which is never published) with each comment. As per the norm here, comments are moderated and will not appear immediately. If you have any questions, email me. You can say anything in your comments, but nasty mean gets you voted off the island. Anyone LIVING is eligible to enter. Zombies and J are ineligible. Sorry J. Up yours zombie bastards!47 Comments
47 Responses to THE GIVEAWAY *UPDATE- Closed
Links to Enjoy
- Andrew Knapp Photos.
- Pot Noodles.
- The Hyena Handlers of Nigeria.
- Rest in fucking pieces, Mr. Darcy.
- Wake Up!
- Hitler's Home Movies.
- Subway Surfer.
- MC Mom.
- Is Your Girlfriend a Horse?
- Now I want to go to Iceland.
- Karaoke Hitler.
- Wake up! They see us!
- How a Gas Nozzle Knows When To Shut Off.
- A Yelp Review left for Walter Palmer's Dental Practice.
- Sleeping Guy Gets Twizzlered.
- Birds in Watercolor.
- When Taunting Goes Wrong.
- Google Sheep View.
- 3 year old girl explain the complexities of childbirth in 4 seconds.
This is a freakin sweet giveaway!
I am not going with the obvious, something by Rob Zombie or the White Zombies, and definately not Thriller.
I think the best song to kill zombies by… Are you ready for it???
STAYING ALIVE! By the BeeGees
Black Sabbath “War Pigs”
I feel the more sensible selection would be “I Eat Cannibals” by Toto Coelo. Just out of curiosity, when I win this ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GIVEAWAY EXTRAVAGANZA, will I have to claim the winnings on my income tax next year?
How do you like me now? by Toby Keith would be another good one.
I would chose anything by Paris Hilton, because killing the zombies would be easy.. they would just kill themselves! For example Screwed.. The lyrics alone would make anyone kill themselves.. plus it would be safe with Paris cause there are no brains to eat. Now THATS HOT!
Ok, so I only have to leave one comment a day until May 11th. I think there’s a gotta be a catch. I think you just want some praise!! If that’s the case, I think you are the most awesome, smartest, coolest, bravest, prettiest person I have ever known in my 35 years!!!!!
I have decided to do a Courtney Love, Paris Hilton remix to make the zombies head explode.
Epic 80s electro dudes Propaganda: Duel
Perfect lyrics for zombie slaying and zombie sound effects throughout. And in the hilarious 80s video she even LOOKS like a zombie:
I defy anyone not to laugh when she grins at him across the table
How about a duet with Yoko Ono and William Hung?
We’re not gonna take it – Twisted Sister.
That’s a no-brainer it would have to be this
or maybe this
Ok maybe not exactly zombie themed but it’s got a good beat to kill to and I think Gargs would approve
“The Trooper” by Iron Maiden. Its in WWZ.
Thanks for the Giveaway Laura!
I will always love you by Whitney Houston because if the zombie is someone you know at least before you have to destroy the zombie they will know that it wasn’t personal.
I’m thinking “C’mon Get Happy” by the Partridge Family. Let’s be realistic, has anyone ever seen a zombie smile or laugh?…Especially before being destroyed
“Time to Get a Gun” by Fred Eaglesmith
aww tracy is sweet!
Say what you will but no zombie’s gonna be concentrating on your brains while this is goin’ on.
Hmmm… yes… this would come in handy during the apocalypse.
I Will Survive! Gloria Gaynor!
My entry for today:
Feuer frei! by Rammstein.
Really, anything by them would work for Zeke killing.
“It’s Not Easy Being Green” sung by Kermit The Frog.
I think Rihanna’s (Disturbia) song would be a good song to listen to while you are killing zombie’s. I’d just have to be careful because I might end up acting as if I’m a zombie myself.
I think this is the first line of defense.
This is something I’ve been VERY concerned about! Thank you for compiling this very important information to help ensure the survival of the LIVING!
AC/DC Back In Black.
You could kill some shit to that tune.
Or fuck a lipless midget blind.
Take your pick.
Alvin and the Chipmunks – Witch Doctor!
OK! OK! I GOT IT! We get Wynona’s help with this one.
When a zombie comes along you must whip it.
My entry for today:
“Infected” by Demon Hunter.
“Bang Your Head” by Quiet Riot
Covergirl – RuPaul
My entry for today, since no one else has used it yet:
“Don’t stop me” by Queen.
Used so well in “Shaun of the Dead”.
I think a great song to boogie to while wasting the undead is “Move Your Dead Bones” from “The Re-Animator”. GREAT beat that’s fast enough to get you moving and blasting away.
I kinda like to sing this when I’m on a killin’ spree.
Fuck you by lilly Allen is a great song to kill zombies with
Got to Believe in Magic – Zapped! Sound Track with Scott Baio
Animals by Nickelback – you could shoot to kill with this as background and nail someone to wall in FM high heels.
I love this post, the fun never ends.
Not exactly relevant but I’m posting it because it’s Laura’s only music video appearance (she’d never tell you). It does depict her wackin’ some crazed bunnies though.
“Alive” by Pearl Jam.
Kung Fu Fighting – By someone I can’t think of right now because I am tired.
Okay, okay, I’m in.
Another One Bites The Dust, would be fitting. Don’t you think?
Girls just wanna have fun – Cyndi Lauper.
It’s Braining Men – The Weather Ghouls…
For my last suggestion I think it should be Disco Heaven by Lady Ga Ga. Becasue even if you are a zombie who is about to suffer the wrath of my machete- you should go to disco heaven when you die the second time.
What can I say
My heart will go on – Celine Dion It will help wipe out the Zombies.