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Do NOT go towards the light | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I started blogging in 2006. I guess that’s what you’d call what I was doing. Mostly I posted memes and videos and goofed around (even more than I do today) on a free blogger site. Since the beginning, I had a reader/commenter named Richard who was a friendemy of my friend Gargs. He was probably the only one who enjoyed my dark humor, my foolishness and food pictures in the early days. He’d always tell me the love of my life, George Clooney, was gay. I’d threaten to punch him in the throat then we’d get bored and go torment Gargs on his blog. Through the years we stayed in touch, mostly on our blogs and through email. Last year his house burned down in one of the California wildfires, but he was lucky to have saved important stuff, which included his pets. He loved animals.


Today I found out he died last Sunday.


Even though I never met the man, I’ve always considered him my friend. Funny this interweb thing, huh?


This makes me extremely sad, so I’ve come to a decision. None of you fuckers are allowed to die before I do. I really don’t care if you feel that you need to, you have to suck it up. This sentimental entry crap has got to stop. After I’m gone you all can proceed at your own pace. You can go skydive, juggle chainsaws one-handed, become missionaries in cannibal infested jungles, or have unprotected sex with Gargs.


One last Gargs-slam for Richard. I’ll miss ya buddy.

12 Comments
 

12 Responses to Do NOT go towards the light

  1. Fencepost says:

    So sorry to hear about your friend!
    I hate when the regulars come up missing. Sometimes you never know what happened to them.
    Guess we’ll have to stick around. Not so sure you can handle another loss.

  2. Jennifer says:

    I’m sure your friend Richard would have enjoyed the Gargs slam. I will do my best not to die.

  3. Joe the Blog Stalker says:

    I too will do my best not to die.

  4. Well, I don’t know how old or healthy you are, but I can tell you that I’m not ready to die anytime soon!
    Sorry to hear about your friend. This internet brings people together in ways that no one imagined 20 years ago.

  5. Richelle says:

    Well, I was feeling kind of poorly, but I will start getting better now.
    I’m sorry about your friend.

  6. Stacey K says:

    Very sorry about the loss of your friend.

  7. daphne says:

    I’m so sorry, darlin’.
    I understand exactly how you feel about these internet friendships. You get invested with the people you share thousands of words with – they become important and more real than some of your daily interactions. Some of us share more intimacy and humor long distance than we do in real life because we’ve found people we can truly connect with through the intimacy of well written words.
    It’s an art, making a friend without face time. I’m lucky enough to have a handful of wonderful long distance connections and I would be devastated if any one of them died. The tears would flow and my heart would grieve the loss. It’s no less real because it was written, Laura. Maybe it was more so.

  8. Duane says:

    Rich was a funny fella. Bill, Laura is so old that you would need an archaelogical dig and carbon testing to even get close to an accurate age. Gargs will never die, but like viruses he will just mutate and devour more innocent lives..
    That was for Rich against both of you vapid snarky bitches and I love you both dearly!! When I post my drag videos next month I am sure there will be retribution cause I know how evil you both are, but I will wait patiently for the attack..
    KISSES!!

  9. Laura says:

    Thank you everyone.
    And Duane…PLEASE let me know when you post those videos, and send me the link to your site please. If you’d like, I would like to post them here. (You know I’m laughing my ass off in anticipation.)

  10. Duane says:

    It would give me pleasure to do this for you, because my goal is to make you happy. Besides, might as well get it over with, but you will have to wait till after the 20th of April. That is the night of my show.

  11. Gargs says:

    Who is this Gargs person you all speak of. He sounds like my type of guy.

  12. Duane says:

    Gargs is just a lovable douchebag!

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