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The other white meat | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura


Clooney Tofu


This is an article from The Washington Post:



Just when we thought we’d seen it all from PETA — the animal rights organization known for high-profile celebrity ads — President Ingrid Newkirk has come up with this: George Clooney-flavored tofu.


In a letter sent to the actor, Newkirk said that PETA has been offered his gym towel (obtained right here in D.C.!) and wants to use his sweat to create Clooney tofu that will “spare animals from being killed for the table.” She went on to explain that the science is pretty simple, like “making artificial chicken flavor for instant gravy.”


Newkirk, a big fan of Clooney, told us yesterday that the towel was offered by a PETA supporter with the idea of auctioning it off, but she immediately thought of using his perspiration for bean curd: “I thought, ‘What would make tofu more attractive to people?’ … I can see people having parties to try CloFu.”


Clooney’s not biting. “As a mammal, I’m offended,” he told us yesterday through his rep. 


To hell with tofu. First off, if I had a sweaty DNA laden towel that belonged to George Clooney the first thing I’d do (after dry humping it) would be to take it to one of those cloning labs and have me a George Clooney made. And not like an infant (ugh) Clooney, but a full size adult model. With working parts. Maybe even get a warranty on those parts. ‘Cause I’m sure there will plenty of wear and tear.

7 Comments
 

7 Responses to The other white meat

  1. Jennfer says:

    PETA is so weird. I like your idea better.

  2. Leslie says:

    Get two made and ebay the other one! Let me know when you start the auction.

  3. J says:

    It would serve you right if it turned out it was Danny DeVito’s towel instead of Clooney’s.

  4. daphne says:

    You need a new sex obsession. I would suggest J.

  5. StaceyK says:

    such a towel would have LOTS of DNA. You could be a very rich woman if you started selling a whole line of Clooney Clones. You could even vary it a bit. Clooney’s from different eras.
    This PETA idea is even worse than the sea kitten one. They must drink heavily before thinking of things to make public.

  6. J says:

    It is rare to find so much common sense in someone who is so intelligent and insightful. You need more commenters like Daphne.

  7. Duane says:

    um YUCK!!

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