Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 164
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 167
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 170
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 173
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 176
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 178
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 180
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 202
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 206
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 214
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 215
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 217
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56
Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 Once, twice, three times a lady | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
One evening this weekend I was laying on the couch and started getting a very uncomfortable cramping in my upper intestines. You know the feeling. Like a gathering of fluids and “material” getting ready for a grand entrance into the world in an hour or so. I call these a belly bomb. That’s the Latin term for them anyway. Don’t say “Eww, you’re gross!” This has happened to everyone. I just will blog it.
On this particular evening J just happened to be over. Great. Good news was, he was leaving in a little while and I could have my private time.
Now to even think this is remotely funny you have to know J. He is a straight-laced proper southern gentleman. Incredible that he could put up with my shenanigans, huh? Well anyway, he saw me grabbing my abdomen and wincing in pain (because I’m very dramatic when I have an audience) and asked me what was wrong. I told him I was going to have a belly bomb and explained what that was. He said that it looked painful and I said it was. Then a wave of pain hit and I told him it was as painful as labor pains with twins (LIKE I know how that feels, right?) and he should time them. We both laughed and I began exaggerating the frequency and pain and he would look at his watch, which sent me into hysterics. Then after another round of moaning in pain he started doing that lamaze breathing thing like he was my labor coach. I was laughing so hard tears were running down my cheeks. Then he grabbed my hand and said with a serious look “I want you to know I’m here for you.” Then points into the other room and says, “But over there behind the fan.”
