J and I were driving down a country road this weekend when I spotted the cutest little donkey in a field with a few goats. I yelled “STOP!” and J slammed on the brakes and looked at me. I said “I want to get a picture of that cute donkey!” And smiled the sweetest smile. He rolled his eyes and pulled into a small dirt road beside the field that held the critters.
I got out of the car and started taking pictures. Then the donkey and the goats spotted me and started running over. The donkey kicked the living shit out of a few goats, but I failed to get that on film because I was too busy grimacing.
They were real interested in me mostly because they thought I had food, so I snapped a few more pics while J sat in the car and ducked down everytime a car passed, not because we were trespassing, but because of embarassment. He played it cool though, and pretended he dropped something on the floor everytime a car went by. I continued snapping pics because, well, I have no shame.
Eventually the donkey and the goats lost interest in me once they figured out I was the bearer of no gifts. I continued snapping pictures, when movement caught my eye towards the woods. That’s when I spotted them. A
murderous pack flock of chickens heading straight for me.
For some reason this gave me the creeps. My first thought was that there might be a fighting rooster in there and it would spur the shit out of me. They kept coming with a determined
blood thirsty look about them. I started to back up towards the car, still taking pictures.They rushed up just as I decided it was a good time to leave, because I knew the electric fence around the other livestock meant nothing to them. Hell hath no fury like a territorial chicken.
After we left I asked J if we could stop at a little country store that I saw had a ‘feed corn for sale’ sign in the window. He asked if I was thirsty as he started applying the brakes. I said no, I wanted to get some feed corn and keep it in his car for when we spot livestock I want to take pictures of. He looked at me and accelerated. I took that as a “no”.
Links to Enjoy
- Andrew Knapp Photos.
- Pot Noodles.
- The Hyena Handlers of Nigeria.
- Rest in fucking pieces, Mr. Darcy.
- Wake Up!
- Hitler's Home Movies.
- Subway Surfer.
- MC Mom.
- Is Your Girlfriend a Horse?
- Now I want to go to Iceland.
- Karaoke Hitler.
- Wake up! They see us!
- How a Gas Nozzle Knows When To Shut Off.
- A Yelp Review left for Walter Palmer's Dental Practice.
- Sleeping Guy Gets Twizzlered.
- Birds in Watercolor.
- When Taunting Goes Wrong.
- Google Sheep View.
- 3 year old girl explain the complexities of childbirth in 4 seconds.