Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

 New Year

Well, it’s been a very busy holiday season and I apologize that I haven’t blogged much.  Today is actually no exception, for I am off to eat my collards with possum fatback , black eyed pea lucky New Year meal. I trust everyone had a safe and happy New Year eve. If not, don’t call me to bail your ass out.

Well, I’m outtie to eat my southern meal and watch “Resident Evil: Extinction” that just released on DVD today. Nothing says Happy New Year quite like flesh eating zombies.

Leave a Comment

One Missed Call

Last week my friend Duane called and during the conversation he mentioned that he wanted to see a new horror movie that was releasing called ” One Missed Call”. It’s some kind of teenager horror flick about receiving a cellphone message that is actually your final last moments- meaning you listen to your own death. If you ask me it’s just a tweaked version of “The Ring” and “Final Destination”. But no one asked me.

After work today I called Duane’s cellphone. I knew he was in New Orleans and since it was 4:30 in the afternoon I knew he’d be falling down stinky drunk inebriated and probably licking on some male strippers unavailable. Luckily for me the call went straight to voicemail and so I was able to leave my version of his untimely demise. Let’s just say it involved a random meeting with a stranger in a public bathroom, bruised knees, and at least five minutes of making choking sounds.

I can’t wait for my voicemail from him. I’m really hoping George Clooney is in there somewhere.


Thelma Santa

Doesn’t Thelma look like she’s in the holiday spirit?

1 Comment


I had been feeling a tad poorly since my bout of whateverthehell it was I suffered from last month so I went to see the doctor Friday. J calls me after.

“What did the doctor say?”

“He said I needed more joy and that I should open my Christmas gifts tonight.”

“Oh yeah? Well, you need a second opinion. Good try though.”

“Thank you.”

1 Comment