Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura


I had been feeling a tad poorly since my bout of whateverthehell it was I suffered from last month so I went to see the doctor Friday. J calls me after.

“What did the doctor say?”

“He said I needed more joy and that I should open my Christmas gifts tonight.”

“Oh yeah? Well, you need a second opinion. Good try though.”

“Thank you.”

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Planet Earth

This weekend winter finally moved in with a big bang (for the south). We had a storm and temperatures dropped like thirty degrees in one day. We stayed at the house and watched Planet Earth, an 11-part series about our planet, filmed over a 5-year period in 200 different locations. We watched all five disks.

For anyone who hasn’t watched this series, it’s absolutely fantastic. I highly suggest you buy it, or rent it, or catch reruns on the Discovery channel. Just don’t get too attached to any of the animals you see. For every animal they show that makes you go “Awww, how cute!” there’s a predator that jumps out and snaps it’s neck, or devours it in one gulp. As beautiful and educational as this show may be, I realized within twenty minutes into it this is basically an animal snuff film in HD.

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I read an article the other day about a woman in Pennsylvania that faces jail time because she was cussing up a blue storm IN HER HOME because her toilet was backing up. Apparently an off-duty policeman was walking past her home, heard her, and promptly knocked on her door and gave her a citation. She faces up to 90 days in jail.

I am kind of worried. If it is actually against the law to curse, I figure chances are that one day soon I will end up on death row. Holy fucking shit.

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