Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura


Elephant Pouch


I carry a large purse, which technically could be classified as a tote. I am constantly rummaging through it for the thing I need at the moment; cell phone, iPod, hairbrush, coupon, snake anti-venom. So today I got this pouch from this store on Etsy. Etsy is my latest online shopping obsession. It’s wonderfully made, and it will hold my iPod and phone, and a few other things. I have my eye on the hedgehog, turtle and skull ones to organize more things in my “purse.” I am sure you are thinking to yourself, “Just get a smaller organized pocketed purse, dumbass.” Well, then I couldn’t collect more of these cute pouches. And that’s just crazy talk.

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Stump Grinding


While going on my daily walk at lunchtime Friday, I spotted this parked truck. Luckily I had my cell phone with me and snapped a picture. I wonder if the guy that thought up the name of his business pondered the different meaning it may represent. Maybe he did and that’s why there’s also an illustration. So no one gets confused. That’s one big beaver.

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Mardi Gras

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While avoiding watching the Super Bowl yesterday, I was flipping through channels and came upon a rodeo. Cowboys. Lots of cowboys that looked perfectly sane, yet were riding bulls with names like “Widow Maker”, “Satan’s Fury”,” Imma Gonna Kill a Cowboy” Okay, I totally made up that last name, but you get the picture. I watched as each cowboy wrapped a braided rope around and around the one hand attached to the bull and thought “Wow, I don’t think I’d attach myself to a mad bull like that.” Mine would be more like a rip cord. I sat there and watched one after another cowboy attempting to stay on these bucking pissed off animals until  a buzzer would sound. Then it happened. A cowboy started getting tossed around like a ragdoll and then when he hit the ground the bull kind of fell on him. I did an ouchy face sitting there and while the rodeo clowns ( which are probably the only useful, unscary clowns in the world, by the way) were distracting the bull, the battered cowboy was just laying there, motionless and in a strange position. The crowd was silent and the announcer  said , “I think he’s hurt bad. I don’t think a person’s foot is suppose to be up beside their head like that.” And sitting there on my couch I said aloud, ” Unless you’re a cheerleader or a porn star.” I then changed the channel to watch a ‘Saved by the Bell’ episode. Hey, didn’t Screech do porn?

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