Fetch My Flying Monkeys

Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives

— Laura

I’ve done it for less.

By Laura On July 1, 2015 · 17 Comments

17 Comments

Testing…one…two…three…

By Laura On June 26, 2015 · 14 Comments

14 Comments

The five six stages of loss and grief that I went through yesterday in front of my computer told by my thoughts and gifs that I think won’t show on any Safari browser and I’m not going to fix it because I’m still working on Stage 6 so get your ass to a PC if you want to see them.

By Laura On September 29, 2014 · 69 Comments

1. Denial.

I was all “No way. This is just some National Enquirer bullshit.”

2. Anger.

Then I was all “THAT MOTHERFUCKIN’ LIAR! HE SAID HE’D NEVER MARRY!”

3. Bargaining.

Then I was all “If only he would had met me first!” and I asked God to turn back time like in that Superman movie where he flew backwards around the Earth, except this would be God and he wouldn’t have to fly because, duh, he’s God.

4. Depression.

Then I was all “God doesn’t care. No one cares. Superman wouldn’t even care.”

5. Acceptance.

Then I was all “Oh well, that’s that. He’s married.”

6. Revenge.

P.S. J just called me and was all “Laura, there’s only five stages of loss and grief and revenge isn’t one of them.” And I was all “Shut your whore mouth, it’s MY stages and that’s one of them!” Then he laughed a nervous Nazi laugh.

69 Comments

FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

By Laura On September 28, 2014 · 50 Comments

George and his wifey WHORE. Whatever happened to "I'll never marry", you LYING BASTARD!?!

I know I haven’t been blogging lately, and I don’t know when I will exactly. Right now I’m over here crying into a gallon container of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Häagen-Dazs listening to Air Supply’s ‘All Out of Love’ on my iPod on repeat. As soon as I’m strong enough to switch-up to Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I Will Survive’, I will return once more to spew my insanity here. Now excuse me whilst I go get another serving spoon for my ice cream. I broke the other ~~in a hysterical fit of rage~~ accidently.

50 Comments

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Links to Enjoy

Moth.

BIRDS!

Andrew Knapp Photos.

Pot Noodles.

The Hyena Handlers of Nigeria.

Rest in fucking pieces, Mr. Darcy.

Rescued!

Wake Up!

Hitler's Home Movies.

Adopted!

Subway Surfer.

MC Mom.

Is Your Girlfriend a Horse?

Now I want to go to Iceland.

AYA!

Karaoke Hitler.

Wake up! They see us!

Wasted.

How a Gas Nozzle Knows When To Shut Off.

A Yelp Review left for Walter Palmer's Dental Practice.

Sleeping Guy Gets Twizzlered.

Birds in Watercolor.

When Taunting Goes Wrong.

Google Sheep View.

3 year old girl explain the complexities of childbirth in 4 seconds.
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I’ve done it for less.

Testing…one…two…three…

The five six stages of loss and grief that I went through yesterday in front of my computer told by my thoughts and gifs that I think won’t show on any Safari browser and I’m not going to fix it because I’m still working on Stage 6 so get your ass to a PC if you want to see them.

FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

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