"Eddie Murphy is still denying that that is his baby Scary Spice had."

"Oh yeah? Well is he going to take that DNA test?"

"She’s going to take him to court."

"Good for her, make him pay for that child. Hey, Britney Spears’ new boyfriend is back in rehab."

"Didn’t she meet him in rehab?"

"Yeah. Know what’s sad?"

"What?"

"That we know or care what these people do."

I went to the post office this morning to get my mail from my P.O. box. I have a P.O. box because I order a lot of porn and write obsessive fan letters to celebrities kids in my neighborhood mess with mailboxes. Anyway, I had to get stamps due to the postal service raising their rates, and lo and behold I had a package from my twin Rick in Arizona. He’s not my actual twin. We’re not even related. He’s just a lot like me except he has a penis and I’m prettier. Oh, and he’s the nice one. This package was my Christmas present for Christmas of 2006. No, it wasn’t lost in the mail. Like I said, he’s just a lot like me and lazy procrastinates.

I love the reindeer in hunter garb holding a gun with an evil look in his eyes. He knows that I like ‘when animals attack’ stories, and nothing says happy holidays like blood and mayhem. Even if it’s in May.

My friend Duane in Colorado still has my Christmas package. One thing I know he got me was a fairy calendar. Yes a 2007 calendar and the year’s almost half over. We laugh when he calls that he will just use a magic marker to move the dates over for 2008 or paste the fairy pictures on a 2008 calendar. This makes me giggle hysterically until I look over at the empty space on my wall where a calendar should be. Then a tiny tear escapes and runs down my cheek.

My BFF Amber came down from Maryland and brought me my birthday present. A basket filled with booze, sweets, Yankee Candles, Philosophy and Frederic Fekkai beauty products. What more could a girl want or need?

This is her new puppy Abbey that also came to visit.

Today I went back to the old insane asylum with my camera and permit in hand. The gate I had busted into leaned on earlier was locked up tighter than spandex pants on a two bit hooker. Damn. We weren’t able to get into any of the buildings, so I just took photos of the grounds and structures. It’s a beautiful place. I hope they don’t knock down all the huge trees, but they probably will. The bastards.

The thing that really sucked is that no one asked to see my permit. Next time I’m going back at night wearing all black and a ski mask.

Here’s the main photo I went back for anyway. The rest will be in my flickr if you’re interested.