Last Friday was my birthday and after partying all weekend, I woke up all bloated and cranky Sunday morning from all the celebratory gin and Circus Peanuts and decided I needed to run some of the toxins out of my system before all my organs began shutting down. I was going along at a pretty good pace when I heard my [...]
When I was a little kid growing up in Cincinnati, our house was always full of a variety of exotic pets. Besides cats, dogs, rabbits, and birds, we had loads of reptiles. We had lizards of all sizes and sorts, turtles, even baby alligators, that my crazy-ass papaw would bring us or we would catch. You may remember the time he [...]
After work on Tuesday one of my friends and I went to the South Carolina State Museum to see the Body Worlds Vital exhibit before it left town. That’s the one with actual dead human bodies that have been “plasticized” and filleted out all artsy like. I have one word to describe it- TESTICLES. There [...]
I tried to kill myself once. I was about four or five years old and in a store of some sort with my mother when I spotted a huge Yogi Bear coloring book. Now, you have to understand, I was obsessed with coloring books as a child. From the earliest I can remember I took great [...]
