Here’s my hand-modeling hand catching a short bus:
I’m thinking that if I don’t get hired to model nail polish, I should get a job naming the nail polish colors. That’s got to be one cushy job. I’ve even been thinking of a few color names:
Dark purple- “Punched in the Throat Purple” Light Orange- [...]
I’m pretty sure I have PVD or bone cancer. My leg hurts and I don’t know why. All I know is I’m pretty certain my days are numbered and I don’t want to be working up to the minute the cold hand of death chokes me out, so I started seriously working toward an early retirement. And since [...]
I constantly keep one of those mint tins that my friend brought me back from Vegas in my pocket at work now. It’s comforting to know that when the time comes and I’m called on the carpet about one of my antics, because well, we all know that one day I will be, I won’t be stuttering and stammering for a retort. No. [...]
My favorite phone conversations with J are the ones where I purposely go full retard on him. I wish I could somehow convey his total exasperation, then his sigh of resignation just before he hangs up on me. Good times, good times. Anyway, this phone conversation took place yesterday, when I was telling him about a trip I once took [...]
