A-List Bloggers are puppeteers who laugh and say
things to themselves like "Dance monkey people!
Dance!" after they hit publish or maybe that's just me
With great power comes great responsibility. No truer words have ever been spoken. When you're an A-List Blogger like Dogette and me, it's always apparent that you are the leader, the trendsetter, the manipulator the one that everyone looks to for guidance. It's the A-Lister's job, nay, DUTY to dictate the wants, needs and desires of their minions readers.
I've been an A-List Blogger now for three days. And I don't want to fall behind in my duties. From time to time I will show you snapshots of products that you will look at and think to yourself "Oh, if I only had that I could be just like her! I could be AWESOME!" It's kind of like the burden Oprah must have with her Favorite Things List.
None of these products I use myself, and most of the products I just get paid to show you. Of course there's now that pesky little law where I'm suppose to disclose if I've been paid to hawk them, but even that doesn't matter. All you will think is "OH MY GOD! I get to see what SHE recommends! I MUST have these overpriced things so maybe it will make me closer to greatness. Hell, maybe she'll even notice I got one and link to me!" I'm going to start slow on this and just recommend one product today. I know once you see it, their website will crash from all the traffic coming in to order it, so if the site is down, just keep trying. Remember I don't use this, but by me featuring it on my A-List Blog, your life will not be complete until YOU own one.
It's a Dildo Helmet Head Massager! With free shipping! So order your Dildo Helmet Head Massager today! Hurry! Do it!
P.S. This is the part where I tell you that no one paid or offered me anything for suggesting you buy this Dildo Helmet Head Massager. The only compensation I got was the hilarious mental image of you all wearing this while reading my A-List Blog. Minus that creepy ass facial expression those models have though.
Comments
See, this is why I haven't been an A-list blog reader before: I don't "do" sheeple stuff; I'm gonna have to pass on the "head massager".
***Damn. ~ Laura
Posted by: Dave Merriman | February 3, 2010 04:48 AM Comment:1
OMG I can't believe people would pay almost $200 for that. I'd be afraid it'd hurt me. Sqeeze my head too tight or something. lol
Posted by: Jennifer | February 3, 2010 06:05 AM Comment:2
They said it will be here on Friday, oh Exalted One.
Posted by: Joe the Blog Stalker | February 3, 2010 06:46 AM Comment:3
Looks like you could wrap your tin foil hat around it and keep it in place so it won't fly off on a windy day.
Posted by: Maeve | February 3, 2010 08:31 AM Comment:4
It looks like a faux-nipple/ egg cup gone wrong.
I want one.
Posted by: LeeAnn | February 3, 2010 08:36 AM Comment:5
I must have one NOW! Maybe it will make me AWESOME!
Posted by: mary beth | February 3, 2010 09:02 AM Comment:6
I think their creepy ass facial expressions come from the fact that their brains are being sucked out of their heads. Oh My God, it's a zombie maker!!!!
Posted by: Sherri | February 3, 2010 09:34 AM Comment:7
It's a brain washer!!! Must have one... MUST!
Posted by: Teresa | February 3, 2010 11:02 AM Comment:8
Yes, yes! I must have one! Sometimes I'm kinda like Opus the Penguin in that respect - I imagine the infomercial for it and that announcer voice gets me every time.
Hello? Is this where I order the Zombie Maker/Dildo Helmet/Head Massager? I'll take 12!!!!! Send them with express overnight airmail shipping!!!
Posted by: Nicole | February 3, 2010 11:04 AM Comment:9
I'm going to wear mine to work.
Posted by: Mark in IT | February 3, 2010 12:48 PM Comment:10
No thanks. It would mess my hair and knock my blog well into the second half of the alphabet-list.
Posted by: Jim - PRS | February 3, 2010 01:55 PM Comment:11
I am going to be sure to order the USB version so I can connect directly to the hive through the Internets. The new, not yet released version is rumored to be wireless and work with AT&T. Oh wait, that's the iPhone. Nevermind.
Must send Steve Jobs money...must send Steve Jobs money...
Posted by: J | February 3, 2010 02:12 PM Comment:12
I'd forget and answer the door in that. Wind up looking like the mad sex professor or something
In your links on the left that treadmill one...man I had tears rolling down my face as he came off the back of it.
Posted by: alison | February 3, 2010 07:30 PM Comment:13
Ok ,i am lame - too lame to comment on the blog of an A-lister like yourself. I need to send you my address so you can send me stuff- but alas I am too lame to figure out where your email is. Or wait, have you hidden it because you are an A-lister after all.
Love the head dildo
Posted by: zombie mom | February 3, 2010 11:19 PM Comment:14
Damn. They're backordered now!
Posted by: SJ | February 4, 2010 06:38 AM Comment:15
I can get the same enjoyment for under 25 bucks that uses a couple of AA batteries and is less discreet. And it fits in my bedside drawer.
Posted by: Pat | February 7, 2010 12:02 AM Comment:16