If I should disappear off the Internets, someone please
tell George Clooney I loved him so and I forgave him
his WHORES, though he should have known better than
to date such nasty skanks
It's gotten colder. It's raining. It's supposed to turn to sleet and ice shortly. The temperature tonight is going to be in the 20's. I have plenty of bread, milk, and eggs. I do, however, just have 2 rolls of toilet paper. TWO ROLLS. I will try to hang on. Ration them. Single sheet time. I will be brave. I will fight the good fight. I am uncertain how long before I can get to a store. I am uncertain even if the stores are stocked. There is just one thing I am certain of, and that is that my next month's electric bill will be $28,000. But I can't worry about that right now. I must just worry about making it to the next day, and the day after that. Oh, the things that go through your head during these trying times. But I've lived life to its fullest. I have but two regrets. I regret not buying double rolls, and I regret eating a bowl of Raisin Bran last night for dinner.
I will try to keep you updated. Or not.
Comments
Lesson number one - always buy double rolls in the winter, you just never know.
Lesson number two - you need cheese puffs in a storm.
Lesson number three - be glad you live in the southern of the Carolinas in the winter.
Posted by: patti | January 30, 2010 01:22 PM Comment:1
Lesson number four- using the softest printer paper possible, print up pictures of your enemies to use when the TP runs out, thus killing two turds with one wipe.
Lesson number five- try to arrange to adopt a pregnant cat about three months before the next Great Climatic Disaster, as nothing soothes a sore bum like baby kitten fur. They also make a funny "squeek!" noise when you wash them off for the next use (be clean, go green, yadda yadda)
Posted by: LeeAnn | January 30, 2010 04:58 PM Comment:2
We have all kinds of TP here so if you need some I can have it overnighted to you. I would do that for you. Yes I would. I assume FedEx can get to your door? I mean, if the glaciers are driveable. You'd want to keep an eye out for LOOTERS -- Crazy Betty might try to head off the FedEx guy; be ready with the Street Sweeper. You and J should move in standard formation. Don't forget to serpentine in case Betty returns fire.
Posted by: dogette | January 30, 2010 05:24 PM Comment:3
Be thankful you didn't eat prunes.
Posted by: Jim - PRS | January 30, 2010 08:52 PM Comment:4
Girl, I am right there with you. If it doesn't warm up soon, I am gonna die. I just checked the thermometer and it is 60 degrees outside! Brrr! And the weatherman says it is supposed to stay in the 70's next week. Oh wait, that is a good thing. Never mind.
If you have to two, pine needles work too.
Posted by: Gargs The Quiet One | January 31, 2010 01:27 AM Comment:5
We got SLAMMED! 8 inches of snow and 3 inches of ice. It's not supposed to get above freezing today, and just barely tomorrow. So, the Juju Woman, the Juju Dog, and I are dug in. Plenty of food and drink and TP, and we DO have power. That makes a difference. I'll be teaching Stretch how to skate.
Cool Runnings!!
Posted by: Yabu | January 31, 2010 07:55 AM Comment:6
Pine NEEDLES? I thought it was pine cones, no wonder I sit funny.
Posted by: LeeAnn | January 31, 2010 07:57 AM Comment:7
This would be a good use for all of those single socks that are left over when the laundry is finished.
Posted by: Suzette | January 31, 2010 09:29 AM Comment:8
If we lived a bit closer to each other I would be willing to trade toilet paper for a cup of milk and an egg. I would be willing to drive on the ice freeways that link our states so that I can make chicken fried steak.
Posted by: karen | January 31, 2010 09:45 AM Comment:9
Got you beat Yabu (I think), 12 inches snow - 1 inch ice - another inch snow. Sun is shining though and it is supposed to get to 34 for about an hour this afternoon so, ya know, pool party.
Posted by: patti | January 31, 2010 11:31 AM Comment:10
oh yeah, and just in case it helps on the last day - cool crap, want some :)
Posted by: patti | January 31, 2010 11:32 AM Comment:11
I'll be thinking of ya here in sunny AZ. I think it will reach 70 tomorrow. It's been on the cool side. The only thing we have in common is that I think we only have two rolls of TP left, too. But I don't have to go to the store in sleet or snow.
Maybe if you shake a little before you get off the toilet, you can drip dry.
Posted by: Pat | January 31, 2010 09:57 PM Comment:12
Alarmed after seeing this, I betook myself to the smallest room in the house and took inventory.
Five rolls left. Whew.
Posted by: CGHill | January 31, 2010 10:29 PM Comment:13