Career opportunity
I was always told that the best career you could have was doing something that you loved and having someone pay you well to do it. I have never been able to do this but I think I may have discovered my calling, and there appears to be a high demand for it. I could actually start doing this on the side for a while until business picked up and then I could go full time. I have dreams of one day opening this up for franchise opportunities across the United States. Hell, I may even go international.
The shocking thing is, I was trained for this years ago in the military and didn't even realize it could be useful in civilian life. What is this new endeavor you ask? Well, with the David Carradine news I have decided that there is a demand out there for controlled strangulation. For a fee I would strangle a man from behind while he takes care of his business. Meaning I will choke them whilst they choke their chicken. And the beauty of this idea is that it would be therapeutic for me. I would demand payment up front of course. And there will be different packages offered. Let's say they are worried things will go awry. They worry they might have an underlying medical condition or they see how overzealous I am or something. For an additional fee there will be "The Rescue Squad Package" where if they were to be rendered completely unconscious I will call 911 before I leave. There would also be a deluxe package offered that would include their pants being pulled back up before 911 is called and I leave. We'll call this "The Family Package", meaning it will save their family from any embarrassment.
Let's be clear, I'm not touching any peen, nor will I perform CPR. I'm just offering to strangle their asses. That's it. If they flop over (pun intended), they're on their own. Unless, of course, they upgrade to "The Rescue Squad Package" or "The Family Package." Then they're the paramedic's business.
Comments
PERFECTION! You will be a hit!
Posted by: Duane | June 6, 2009 03:48 PM Comment:1
I'd like to order a couple of 'Family Packs' and as a gift to myself for my upcoming birthday I'd also like a 'Rescue Pack'. Do you accept PayPal? Otherwise charge my card, you still have the number from when I bought the dom/sub package last year. Thanks. Oh I mean thank you Mistress.
Posted by: nickd | June 6, 2009 04:55 PM Comment:2
Duane- I know, right? A dream job.
Nick- You totally cracked me up.
Posted by: Laura | June 6, 2009 07:04 PM Comment:3
I want to know what kind of package J signed up for. I hear he is KINKAY!
Posted by: Duane | June 7, 2009 11:45 AM Comment:4
Will you be selling gift cards? I like to do my Christmas shopping early.
Posted by: BK | June 7, 2009 12:15 PM Comment:5
LOL! For some reason I can picture you becoming a workaholic doing this! LOL!
Posted by: Jennifer | June 8, 2009 05:11 AM Comment:6
That is sick and disgusting........which means I love it. :D
Posted by: Dave Randal | June 8, 2009 10:17 AM Comment:7
Duane,
I have to pay her not to choke me so that just doesn't make sense.
Posted by: J | June 8, 2009 06:22 PM Comment:8
I would like to order the Family Pack one for my grandpa's birthday. And Father's Day is coming up. Do you run any specials, like two for one by chance?
Posted by: Joe the Blog Stalker | June 9, 2009 05:20 AM Comment:9
There will be gift cards available. As far as two for one specials, maybe around the holidays- I have two hands dontcha know. "The Dual Choke" package it shall be called.
Posted by: Laura | June 9, 2009 11:44 AM Comment:10
I've been dying to get home and post a comment just to tell you how hysterically funny that post was. I LOVED it. I want to ride shot gun. I don't have the military training but I have the ambition. Seriously :)
Posted by: alison | June 9, 2009 02:04 PM Comment:11
Alison- You can start up the European division of this enterprise. YAY! We're international already!
AND we haven't even choked one yet, and the orders are backing up!
Posted by: Laura | June 9, 2009 02:25 PM Comment:12