They say there's someone for everyone-
somehow that makes it worse
For laughs I went to okcupid.com to check out what's going on over there. Folks, it is a FREAKIN' GOLD MINE for blog fodder. First I had to get a screen name. My first choice was taken, but they were very helpful in suggesting others.
And then I put in my state of residence (because I just knew there would be TONS of laughable prospects) and started to scan the available straight men. This is, no lie, the first profile I came to. Meet Mr. Old Naked Guy (names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
You know you're in for MAJOR creep factor when you see a naked old man sitting in front of his computer. Wait, it gets better.
Yes, he wants a chick to sit and step on his face and smother him. Suddenly I'm finding myself attracted to him.
Uh, oh. He's a preacher. I could have dealt with him being illiterate and unemployed. Now I'm questioning our future together.
Oh, Mr. Old Naked Guy, you had me at "face sat smothered choked."
Comments
I can sort of see you leaving me for Clooney but this is a bit much.
Posted by: J | January 15, 2009 09:53 PM Comment:1
But J!!! I could punch him in the throat. Repeatedly. Without police intervention!
Posted by: Laura | January 15, 2009 09:59 PM Comment:2
Please, stick with J (my first choice) or Clooney ( dream on with your weird midget love), this grody, ancient son of bitch has no teeth, no hair and can't spell worth a damn. Take a wide pass, babygirl - you can do a whole sight better.
***I thought I spent some weird time on the internet, you have completely scooped my redneck ass, Miss Laura. ;-)
Posted by: daphne | January 15, 2009 10:07 PM Comment:3
Wow. Funniest thing I've read in a long. time.
Well done.
Posted by: Kansas Sity Sinic | January 15, 2009 11:15 PM Comment:4
WOW! I've seen some funny stuff on OKCupid, but this beats them all!
At leest heas a gode speler!
Posted by: Bill | January 16, 2009 09:37 AM Comment:5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Girl, you made me hurt myself laughing!
Posted by: Jennifer | January 16, 2009 11:10 AM Comment:6
Completely hilarious.
Since he tries to "treate others the way i winnt to be treated" I guess that means he wants to do a bit of smothering himself. Let that run through your head just a second.
They could use this guy on that Fear Factor show. For your second stunt, Old Naked Man is going to sit on your face...
Posted by: Alan | January 16, 2009 05:32 PM Comment:7
You are mean. This poor toothless adonis is looking for love and you want to mock him. Hang your head in shame. Everyone deserves to be loved by someone. How else will they learn what a loser they are?
LOVE YA!
Posted by: Gargs | January 16, 2009 08:38 PM Comment:8
you should put up the most outrageous ad you can think of, and see what responses you get. it's pure gold I tell ya.
Posted by: midtown miscreant | January 17, 2009 01:38 AM Comment:9
I didnt realize Gargs was so lonely as to put up a personal add for love, But what shocked me most was the fact he is now a preacher!! Jimmy Swaggart move on over
Posted by: Duane | January 17, 2009 03:41 PM Comment:10