Shit’s about to get real. So clean your guns, restring your crossbows, and oil your chainsaws- this ain’t no dress rehearsal.
I think this is the beginning, folks. The beginning of the end. The Big ZA. Yeah, that’s right, the Zombie Apocalypse. Ebola brought here to America. EBOLA. I looked it up a while back because according to Web MD I had it and I was all “FUCK! I’M GONNA DIE ALL NASTY AND BLEEDING OUT OF EVERY ORIFACE AND SHIT.” Turned out I was alright though, I just ate some bad shrimp and had explosive, lava diarrhea. Fuck Web Md. Fuck bad shrimp. Fuck explosive, lava diarrhea. And FUCK EBOLA most of all. So anyways, I was talking to J about Ebola the other day and when I told him I thought it was the start of the apocalypse he was all “Laura, you think cold season is the start of the apocalypse.” Then he laughed his little Nazi laugh. Sonsabitch. He can laugh all he wants. If he makes it through the breakout WHICH HE WON’T because that cheap bastard likes to go through the drive-thru at McDonalds (ugh) for their Dollar Menu bullshit and you just know those nasty, hair-netted little teenagers at the grill are spitting on those dollar burgers- but IF HE DOES make it through the outbreak - he won’t be joining my group. Nope. So laugh your little Nazi laugh now. Come the ZA, you’re on your own. Enjoy your Happy Meal, motherfucker.22 Comments
22 Responses to Shit’s about to get real. So clean your guns, restring your crossbows, and oil your chainsaws- this ain’t no dress rehearsal.
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Yea.. Im worried about you and Elaine being so close to it.
And he doesn’t deserve to be on your team during a za with his little nazi laugh and judging nazi eyes.
So what big weapon is he getting you this xmas for the za?
Got my fingers crossed for a grenade launcher. My throwing arm ain’t what it use to be.
We need a poster with Jack in the foreground as conqueror of the zombies in the background…..Like that one you did where Jack was about to defeat Godzilla….then they called a 10 lb. Doxie…
LOL Good lawd we’re in trouble if we gotta depend on Jack killing zombies. He’ll pretty much just lead them to us and and then stand behind us and bark.
Very accurate! LMAO… Damn Nazi dog Turdley!
He’s a little shithead indeed. lol
How do you manage to be a Nazi magnet? Just curious..
Mostly I’m a crazy magnet. Remember Betty?
Damn. After I pressed the elevator button, I rubbed my eye. Goodbye, cruel world.
I think we should burn down Atlanta again.
YES! And Columbia. He only burned it half-ass.
Think of it this way: Ebola will cull the herd. Maybe we can get some Stupid out of the gene pool.
There is that…
Anyone eating at McDonalds will be first infected- well known fact.
If you want to be thoroughly entertained (and horrified) read Richard Preston’s Hot Zone. Came out in 1994, I think. My best friend and I would go around and say about people who annoyed us: I hope you get EBOLA, beeyatch!
We were super mature.
I have read it! And yeah, my friends and I are real mature when we get together still.
OMG You’re back to blogging!! YAYYY! We missed you!!
I am! Missed you too!
Being a zombie might not be all bad. Don’t have to go to work, just spend the day doing nothing but eating brains and shit. Sort of like being on welfare.
Or an elected official.