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Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49 The Quilting “B Block.” | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Me: “My friend Patty wants me to go with her to a quilters club meeting tomorrow.”
J: “You should go.”
Me: “Yeah, well, I haven’t quilted in years. And what if it’s like a quilting cult!”
J: “It won’t be a cult, Laura.”
Me: “Hmm, maybe they’ll teach me their secret quilting handshake.”
J: “What?”
Me: “Their secret handshake. It’s probably two cramped claws trying to grip.” *demonstrates* “Hey, when I walk in I should pick the toughest looking one and go punch her in the face.”
I don’t know how it is for anyone
else here but for me your weirdness
is not wasted, it is worshipped!!!
Today I needed cheering up and your
blog was perfect.
It just takes a looooong time. Though I am seeing that more than ever people don’t hand quilt, they machine quilt- which cuts a lot of time off, but makes a different “quality” quilt IMHO.
I agree. I only hand sew when I make bags.
My mom hand sewed her kimonos when i was a kid.
Anything I make is by hand, when my carpal tunnel lets me that is.
My mother-in-law had my husband (and all the other six siblings) trained to perfection. When the needle, pins and scissors come out, a Goddess is at work and interruptions were not to be tolerated unless copious amounts of blood were involved.
She taught me how to quilt and I agree about the hand sewing. It’s also relaxing which is an added bonus around here when there is a lack of chocolate sacrifices.
I didn’t know people still quilted. That’s cool. I may check out some quilts at a craft show. But thanks to Glen I’ll be paranoid that I’m buying some dried up tattoo skin! HA!
I was forever the hand quilting purist, and then one day I noticed I wasn’t actually ever getting any quilts quilted. So I succumbed to machine quilting. Yes, it’s different, and I don’t like the look as much. But it’s practical. I save my hand quilting for small projects. And yes, I have claw hands.
I wonder if they have quilting clubs in prison? Or cults. Whichever. Because I’d be perfectly willing to commit some serious crime for that.
Machine quilting sure is faster indeed. I guess “Nobody got time for that” is the theme. Have seen some mighty detailed beautiful machine quilted ones. They probably don’t allow quilt clubs in prison because of things being all pointy and folks probably would lose a lot of eyes.
WHAT? QUILTING? what nonsense is this… you should be sitting by the pool my Queen, and sipithing on Vodka… and eating BonBons… EWWWwww wait… Vodka and BonBons.. no that’s bad. very very bad….
I was in a quilting cult once, back in the early 90s. The ringleader was about 4’11 and in her 80s. Her stitches were perfect, and it was rumored that she could kill with a thimble. …Oh, shit. I have just violated the first rule of Quilting Club…dammit, Laura! o_O
HAHA! It does seem so! I’ve been so super busy with not only the quilting club, but a gardening class, fixing my own gardens and volunteering at the Humane Society! It’s crazy!!
Glad you’re alive lady. Would love for you to post garden pics. I was over the moon earlier this week when my first bulb showed me a flower bud, danced like Elaine in my yard.
It’s really hard to blog when you’re having so much fun away from the computer! I may blog here and there. Funny things happen every day..and I do need an audience!
Just stopping by to say hello, and to tell you that I miss your crazy ass blog posts. Seems that all is well with you, which is what is important (yes, I stalk follow your antics on Facebook, but I am here to say, it ain’t the same). More than anything, I miss the Jack posts. Jack’s my favorite (Bobo runs a very close second, though).
Hello,
Helloooo,
Anybody home?
Damn, I think we are going to have to send out
a search party. Somebody find all the locations
of the local quilting clubs.
And watch out for hobos!
Damn. I hope Laura’s OK. Maybe we can get to her
quick enough and tell her we need her back here.
Damn quilting clubs.
All right, now, this is getting me worried. Girl where are you? When you don’t post anything about Clooney’s engagement, it makes me think you’ve gone ninja on his fiancé.
Maybe she finally overdosed on tequila and magic mushrooms, and was eaten by her pets.
Or J finally had too much of her lip. That guy always did seem shady to me.
I’m thinking she won the lottery, moved to Tahiti and is wondering if she should have a massage, or just drink exotic rum drinks, while sitting on the beach, under an umbrella and thinking about how mundane it is to work every day.
So my theory is that since you moved to your dream house, you have dull neighbors and no bunch o’ bitches to contend with; ergo, you’ve run short of twisted interesting material to write about. Enjoy your sabbatical, Laura, but do plan to return to us anon. The Internet is a boring place without you.
God, I love that you’re weird!
Thank you. I am glad my weirdness is not wasted.
I don’t know how it is for anyone
else here but for me your weirdness
is not wasted, it is worshipped!!!
Today I needed cheering up and your
blog was perfect.
Hail Laura
Awww, well, if this little blog can cheer someone up, I’m glad to do it. Seriously.
I’ve been to a quilting bee.
Prison is waaaaaaaay easier.
Even for pretty girls like us?
Damn skippy
They sew people up in sheets and leave them to dry out so they can skin ‘em later and use any tattoos for panel fillers! Beware!!!
Ohhh I want to learn to do that!
I want a quilt! And I think you’re funny. Don’t listen to the Nazi. Im too lazy to learn to quilt.
It just takes a looooong time. Though I am seeing that more than ever people don’t hand quilt, they machine quilt- which cuts a lot of time off, but makes a different “quality” quilt IMHO.
I agree. I only hand sew when I make bags.
My mom hand sewed her kimonos when i was a kid.
Anything I make is by hand, when my carpal tunnel lets me that is.
Yeah, carpal tunnel is a bitch.
My mother-in-law had my husband (and all the other six siblings) trained to perfection. When the needle, pins and scissors come out, a Goddess is at work and interruptions were not to be tolerated unless copious amounts of blood were involved.
She taught me how to quilt and I agree about the hand sewing. It’s also relaxing which is an added bonus around here when there is a lack of chocolate sacrifices.
Pillow top squares is about all I would have the patience for now as far as hand-quilting.
You don’t punch the toughest one, you sew a patch on her sleeve, shaped like a teardrop.
HA! With one of those tracing pencils.
Good call. I’ve heard about those quilting cults… members with their multi-colored sweaters and shawls and all. That’s scary stuff.
And those lil evil half glasses perched on their noses!
In prison, there was a quilting club that was inspired by “The Silence Of The Lambs.” Pretty sure you’d want to steer clear of that one.
Eeeeks, do they all wear those hockey masks thingies?
No, but I’d be careful if they asked you if you’d like to contribute some material for their quilt.
It took him HOW long to figure this out??
He just keeps reminding me!!
I didn’t know people still quilted. That’s cool. I may check out some quilts at a craft show. But thanks to Glen I’ll be paranoid that I’m buying some dried up tattoo skin! HA!
Either would be cool. Admit it.
It would depend on the tattoos.
Quilters club? That’s how Charles Manson started. A cute little footie and the rest is history.
I think you mean KNITTERS Club. Those motherfuckers are crazy.
There’s a difference?
Oh shit. I’m doomed.
Indeed you are…
Remember, no one intends to join a cult. They lure you in, and then, much like the mafia, there is no way out.
I fear the quilting-cult will grab you and human-traffic you to Amish country. Hand-sewing will be the ONLY option. No gin, no internet, and no guns.
Think hard before you go to that meeting.
OH. HELL. NO.
I was forever the hand quilting purist, and then one day I noticed I wasn’t actually ever getting any quilts quilted. So I succumbed to machine quilting. Yes, it’s different, and I don’t like the look as much. But it’s practical. I save my hand quilting for small projects. And yes, I have claw hands.
I wonder if they have quilting clubs in prison? Or cults. Whichever. Because I’d be perfectly willing to commit some serious crime for that.
Machine quilting sure is faster indeed. I guess “Nobody got time for that” is the theme. Have seen some mighty detailed beautiful machine quilted ones. They probably don’t allow quilt clubs in prison because of things being all pointy and folks probably would lose a lot of eyes.
Plus the raw material for girl suits is scarce.
I want to be on the “Make me a quilt” list….
HA!
No Really, you could raffle it off… OMG> “Quilts By Laura” OMG you’d be a gazillionair…..This is bigger than T-shirts…..
HAHA!
Don’t ever change Laura.. evea evea evea… and don’t let J fool you.. that’s what he loves about you….
I know : )
WHAT? QUILTING? what nonsense is this… you should be sitting by the pool my Queen, and sipithing on Vodka… and eating BonBons… EWWWwww wait… Vodka and BonBons.. no that’s bad. very very bad….
It’s too cold for the pool quite yet.
Where is your sense of adventure My dear….
I was in a quilting cult once, back in the early 90s. The ringleader was about 4’11 and in her 80s. Her stitches were perfect, and it was rumored that she could kill with a thimble. …Oh, shit. I have just violated the first rule of Quilting Club…dammit, Laura! o_O
LOCK your doors.
I’m guessing they were successful in luring you to the meeting….and you’re still there….quilting, quilting, quilting…forever.
HAHA! It does seem so! I’ve been so super busy with not only the quilting club, but a gardening class, fixing my own gardens and volunteering at the Humane Society! It’s crazy!!
Glad you’re alive lady. Would love for you to post garden pics. I was over the moon earlier this week when my first bulb showed me a flower bud, danced like Elaine in my yard.
You know, I just may start just posting pics here while I’m not blogging. Good idea.
It was nice while it lasted. Hope you are having fun. Now what am I going to do to get a smile on my face and waste time at work?
It’s really hard to blog when you’re having so much fun away from the computer! I may blog here and there. Funny things happen every day..and I do need an audience!
I am so happy for you! Life should be fun most of the time. And life away from computers is definitely a good thing. Enjoy!
Sorry, just had to say that I am in the same boat and loving it.
I sure do miss you!
I keep checking your page and nothing
I miss your funny links and posts
SAD
Just stopping by to say hello, and to tell you that I miss your crazy ass blog posts. Seems that all is well with you, which is what is important (yes, I
stalkfollow your antics on Facebook, but I am here to say, it ain’t the same). More than anything, I miss the Jack posts. Jack’s my favorite (Bobo runs a very close second, though).Hello,
Helloooo,
Anybody home?
Damn, I think we are going to have to send out
a search party. Somebody find all the locations
of the local quilting clubs.
And watch out for hobos!
Damn. I hope Laura’s OK. Maybe we can get to her
quick enough and tell her we need her back here.
Damn quilting clubs.
This comment has absolutely nothing to do with your post.
I miss you so much! Hope you are well!
Yo, girl! I heard the George Clooney was getting married and this is the first blog I ran to.
*Hello?*
All right, now, this is getting me worried. Girl where are you? When you don’t post anything about Clooney’s engagement, it makes me think you’ve gone ninja on his fiancé.
Maybe she finally overdosed on tequila and magic mushrooms, and was eaten by her pets.
Or J finally had too much of her lip. That guy always did seem shady to me.
I’m thinking she won the lottery, moved to Tahiti and is wondering if she should have a massage, or just drink exotic rum drinks, while sitting on the beach, under an umbrella and thinking about how mundane it is to work every day.
A link for your enjoyment
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=4fe_1400983140
I know I am not great at keeping my blog going, so no judgment here, but dang, I liked to read this dang blog! : ) where are ya!
I’ll return one day!
I keep checking back! I miss you!
Ok, you promised! I voted! Just a picture of the garden even….
So my theory is that since you moved to your dream house, you have dull neighbors and no bunch o’ bitches to contend with; ergo, you’ve run short of
twistedinteresting material to write about. Enjoy your sabbatical, Laura, but do plan to return to us anon. The Internet is a boring place without you.Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo miss you.