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Now to get that shotgun rack put on my bike… | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

So I’m walking Bobo along a road that fronted some woods the other day and suddenly he stopped and stared at something hanging in a tree.

Nah, that wasn’t it.

I was all “What the fuck is that?”

Then I looked further back into the woods.

Something was behind a tree. “What the fuck is that?” I thought.

Bobo wanted to go investigate. I followed.

“What the fuck is that?” I said to Bobo.

He didn’t know.

“Shit, I bet we found a hobo camp” I said. “We best leave before they return, I don’t have my shotgun.”

Then I logged the location into my GPS for a future hunting expedition.

Good boy, Bobo.

36 Comments
 

36 Responses to Now to get that shotgun rack put on my bike…

  1. Mhm says:

    Let us not go back there again, shall we? Please don’t be selfish. Think of How WE would feel if there were no more witty stories to read because you were forced into a life of hobo-hood.

  2. Cheryl says:

    What the fuck is that? RUN!!!!!

  3. Sheri O'Neal says:

    Awesome storytelling, I felt the tension! It was almost like I was there!

  4. Suzanne says:

    1. Until you get your bike and gunrack sorted out, would you like to borrow my new machete?
    2. Dear J – Christmas, the time to overspend on all of Laura’s wishes and whims, is here. May I suggest that you buy the shiny yellow bike she has her heart set on? And I think some sort of sidecar arrangement is needed, so that Jack can come on the hunting trips.

  5. glen says:

    Looks like one of those UFO Hobos. When you get your shotgun make sure you bring the silver plated buckshot. Also make sure you don’t forget your aluminum foil helmet. I would make a helmet for Bobo too. I’m just saying…

  6. Alison says:

    Bobo, the hobo-hunting phenom!

  7. rick says:

    That handsome boy would never lead you into danger, would he?

    • Laura says:

      Never. He’s such a fantastic dog.

      • rick says:

        All dogs are fantastic. He may have a sense of humor though. My wife and I were up at whitewater falls last weekend, one of our dogs got off the leash. He just roamed around and barked at everyone. Took us an hour to gather him up, he’s such an ass. He laughed all the way back to the cabin. Needless to say, we’d still be up there if we didn’t get him back. That’s what dogs do.

  8. gatorgirl4325 says:

    Are you sure you didn’t just run up on an illegal liquor makin’ operation? I mean, you *do* live in wrong Carolina? right?

  9. My dog freaked the hell out one time at a big white garbage bag. I was sure it had a dead body inside. It was a dead Christmas tree…

  10. Jena says:

    WTF was in the bag?

  11. Nicole says:

    Yeah… that would be a big ol’ DO NOT from my skeered butt, hobo-hunting Bobo or not!

  12. Sara says:

    I bet they were making moonshine!

  13. Suzanne says:

    I am doing some research on hobos, so I can become a hobo scientist.

    Here are some links for your review.

    1. Look for tell-tale signs: http://www.worldpath.net/~minstrel/hobosign.htm

    2. and those bastards have a CONVENTION: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Hobo_Convention
    3. Finally some information on the murderous bastards: http://milepost1147.2.railfan.net/pages/stories/Article009.html/

    I hope this assists in your efforts.

  14. SB Smith says:

    Awesome Bobo is fearless !

    Do NOT go back there without your shotgun and maybe as a backup, a nice warm Uzi.

  15. Jeff Akers says:

    I just wandered into your blog! Funny stuff! That mysterious device you found in the woods is for baling pine straw. You know, like the pine straw bales that homeowners spend huge amount of money on to dress up there landscaping! Note the baling twine.

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