Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura
I just watched Star Trek: Into Darkness because it just became available to rent on iTunes today and I don’t buy movies if I don’t have to. I don’t go to movie theaters anymore either because they’re filled with creatures called “children” and “teenagers,” and because I’m prone to violence against the rude and unruly, I, and my legal council, found it best that I avoid such places. If you haven’t seen the movie you really should. Not that I’m a Trekkie or anything, though I have been known to attend a convention or two in the past for shits and giggles. This is the best Star Trek movie ever made. This one introduces Khan, the arch enemy of Kirk and The Federation. It also features a scene ripped right out of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan where a leading character has to enter the engine room’s reactor to restore power to the Enterprise and then dies of radiation poisoning. Now, I’m not gonna lie to you, I had to put myself on suicide watch when I watched that scene, even though I knew in my heart that main characters don’t stay dead. I’m very sensitive to shit like that. J thinks it’s funny how I loathe romance movies, where I generally cheer the demise of their characters. Like how I moaned at the screen “SINK ALREADY!” or “WHY DON’T BOTH OF YOU LET GO OF THAT FUCKING FLOATING DOOR?!” when we watched the Titanic. Or “SMOTHER HER WITH A PILLOW AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!” when we watched The Notebook. Yeah, I don’t like romance movies.
Oh, also World War Z was released today. I’ve read the book, which was excellent, but I bought that motherfucker because I had to add it to my collection of zombie movies that I often re-watch to help me keep up my zombie fighting skillz. That’s right, go ahead and laugh. The Apocalypse will be coming, and due to my extensive training and research you’ll want on my team. But you know what? I won’t let you. Then we’ll see who laughs last. Me. I’ll laugh last as I watch you scream like a little baby and piss your pants as the undead horde descends upon you and you’re left praying to your God to save you or that your death is quick and all you can feel are teeth sinking into your flesh and ripping ….wait, where was I? Oh yeah, I bought World War Z, but I promised J I’d wait to watch it with him tonight because he says he likes watching zombie movies with me only if I haven’t seen them before. I get all into them and clap and cheer and scream at the screen shit like “DIE, YOU FUCKING ZOMBIE BASTARDS!” He thinks I’m being ridiculous and that it’s funny. But that’s okay. He can laugh… for now.
Now here’s a photo of an Anole lizard that was on my patio to complete the whole Movie/Lizard Tuesday title thingy:
This is an Anole and they're all over the place here. They also make great fashionable clip-on earrings if you let them bite your ear lobe and dangle. Not that I recommend doing that, mind you. (DO IT!)
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44 Responses to It’s Movie/Lizard Tuesday. Oh, and there may be spoilers ahead, though not really, but I thought I’d warn you anyway so you don’t start bitching about it later.
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WWZ sucked. SUCKED!!! Sucker for buying it! lmao.
That lizard is too cute. And I never abused them growing up.
Down here ours are green and we also have the ugly Mediterranean ones.
When I want your movie review I will beat it out of you. Ha! Leave the movie critiquing to me. I own ALL zombie flicks. Good or bad. (I did hear it was not at all like the book, which is disappointing. But I saw the previews and liked the special effects of the hordes.)
We have the green ones too. I LOVE lizards. And turtles. And of course, goats.
Loved Star Trek as well. Near HHI on vacation -don’t worry I am not a stalker- and am amazed with the number of large horseshoe crab carcases near the water. Do you know what is going on? Is this normal?
I was told that a lot are in fact not dead, but have been knocked over by the surf and you can flip them over (by their shell not their tail). Don’t worry, they’re not zombie crabs. The big ones are females and come up to lay eggs the smaller males are hitching rides. So flip ‘em over or carry them on down to the water!
After flipping all those crabs, I hope you’re going to our outlet mall : )
I have flipped a few over but found many to have no body under the shell. Not concerned with the crabs…it is gators I fear! Thanks for the info. Not much into outlets but did locate a sweet cupcake shop at Coligny Park named Sweet Carolina Cupcake.
Mmm cupcakes…
Maybe there’s a crab rabies thing going on I don’t know about.
When the Zombie ‘poclipse comes, I give you permission to shoot me in the head, and use the rest of my body parts as zombie-bait. (You’ll also have a lot of blubber from me, you can use as lamp oil.)
Zombies like their meat alive. Sorry, but I’d have to stake you out alive to use you as bait. Later, I will shoot you in the head. (I am a good friend.)
I don’t think the movie was all that bad. The book, after all, doesn’t really lend itself to a movie script. True, about the only thing they seemingly have in common is zombies, but I was expecting to movie to be bad, so I was quite pleasantly surprised. Was it the greatest zombie flick ever? No, probably not. But the zombie visual effects were cool. Those sonsabitches don’t just shuffle along moaning, they’re fucking FAST fuckers! They sprint for all they’re worth, because hey… Muscle pain? That thing that holds us average folk back? Nope. Of course that makes them clumsy, falling over themselves and each other, but no worries – there’s a gazillion more behind the two or three that just fell, and they’re crowd-stomping those sorry, undead sonsabitches like so many losing fans at a France-England soccer match! RUN motherfuckers! Ha!
I’m no fan of movies that use the ‘Reality-TV’ chase-cam schtick to follow one character through a series of chaotic, vomit-inducing scenes (I’m looking at YOU, Tom Cruise – you ‘War of the Worlds’ destroying, couch-jumping freak!), and I was dreading having to watch so much Brad Pitt. Turns out, it wasn’t so bad. Maybe. Shit, am I? Nope, I still like women…
All in all, WWZ holds its own niche in the spectrum of zombie flicks. A three on a five-scale for me.
Oh, and we have a few Anoles, but for the most part, we’re inundated with Five-Lined Skinks ’round these parts… The adults get pretty big and take up residence in our shed, shitting palmetto-bug-carapace-laden pellets and scaring the living hell out of me whenever I move something and suddenly a foot-long slithering thing shoots like a flash around my feet. But hey… They dine on Palmetto bugs. WIN!
Man, those fast zombies freak me the fuck out. One of my greatest fears. Well, those and Palmetto Bugs.
I did notice Pitt is looking super old lately. I bet it’s from having so many damn kids and living with that freak Angelina. She’s probably selling his blood to a third world country for a new baby.
“Of course that makes them clumsy, falling over themselves and each other, but no worries – there’s a gazillion more behind the two or three that just fell, and they’re crowd-stomping those sorry, undead sonsabitches like so many losing fans at a France-England soccer match! RUN motherfuckers!” made me seriously LOL.
Oh, and I saw a Five-Lined Skink in my driveway, next to a wood pile my roofer left. I figured it was large enough to eat a Palmetto Bug, or two or three and I gave him a big thumbs up. I don’t think he cared if I approved or not though.
Richard, that was a great review of WWZ. Totally agree including the 3 out of 5 rating. Spot on.
Well shit. I thought this blog was about me. I’ve been called Lizard for as long as I can remember. But, the picture of the Anole is WAY cuter than I am so at least you didn’t drive your other readers away with a picture of me. HA!
Lizard is your nickname? Are you a biker?
I have had those little suckers hanging from my ear’s before compliments of my evil nephew. And I will say it was quite entertaining. I LAUGHED TILL I WET MYSELF… I’m old….
Just don’t try a water moccasin necklace.
I got to tell you that extracting honey clip was SO FRICKING COOL………..Thanks for the education as always
And just how cool was the narration?
I had to look up “five lined skink”. I didn’t realize that’s their official name.
I have really big one that lives around my back steps. He must live on the June bugs that kill themselves every evening after dark.
They’re pretty cool looking. I wouldn’t mind if my yard was full of them.
I had Star Trek Into Darkness in queue on DirecTV to download when it was available. Hope when I get home it is there waiting for me!
You’ll love it! Really.
I still haven’t purchased Zombieland and I need to do it. Love zombie movies. My husband bought some real stinkers that I’m donating to Goodwill. Been waiting for Star Trek, so that will get watched today after I get back from the casino. After all, I have my priorities. My shooting class got cancelled and so did my Meat class. Yep, Meat class. So it’s a slow afternoon.
Love lizards. Their tails come off if you grab them and you can use those as all kinds of jewelry. They just grow back for the lizard.
I loved Zombieland. Makes me crave Twinkies though.
Oh no shit. They offer deep fried Twinkies downtown Vegas. I’ve never been drunk enough to try one.
Well drink up and report back!
Call me old-fashioned, but I had mixed feelings about the new Star Trek film. Spock wasn’t Spock-like enough (seriously, he was kind of a pussy), and there is simply no acceptable modern substitute for Ricardo Montalban and his exquisite
pectsacting.It is shocking to see him kiss a girl I must admit. BUT I’d pay good money to watch him having sex.
I just kept waiting for Ricardo’s Khan to do some kind of rant about the Corinthian leather in his space craft.
My primary disagreement with the new movie is it didn’t follow the 1960′s original timeline of Cpt. Pike. On the show, he was located on a new planet. In the movie, he was killed. Maybe a twist will be explained in the future.
I found him annoying and was rather glad he expired. Also Spock got to run a Vulcan mental death test on him which was pretty cool.
My daughter did the whole clip on live lizzards as earrings thing when we were satationed in SC…what I learned? Never let the kiddies hear you scream! AND don’t pull them off, ’cause only the tails will come
Ha! Did she do a princess wave like she was in a pageant whilst she wore her lizard earrings? ‘Cause I used to.
That is a totally cute lizard!
And Star Trek was pretty good, I agree. Benedict is just yummy.
He did a good job.
I liked both movies. And I thought that was the best Star Trek movie too.
Very entertaining.
I haven’t seen the new Star Trek movie yet….
We have those lizards all over the place !
If they aren’t the same, they are Very similar.
They’re So cute !
If one gets in the house, I always get them into a small container and take them back outside.
I can’t let Buster torture them to death.
Yeah, cats love to chase and kill them. I always grab ‘em, trying not to have ‘em lose their tails, and escort them back outdoors.
We have those lizards here too. They’re cute and fast!
They are pretty fast lil sonsabitches.
WWZ wasn’t too bad. The zombies were fast as hell. Star Trek: Into Darkness was an awesome flick.
Agree. We watched WWZ and I determined that the zombies rocked. They were terrifying, but rocked.
My strategy for dealing with zombies is to give them a map to Washington DC. Maybe loan them a motor home to drive there.
It might work out best for all.
Then contain them there.
Won’t work, zombies eat brains, there is none of that substance in Washington DC