Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 164

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 167

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 170

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 173

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 176

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 178

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 180

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 202

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 206

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 214

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 215

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 217

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/includes/class.layout.php on line 321

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 56

Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jimstant/public_html/fetchmyflyingmonkeys/wp-content/themes/platformpro/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 49
The Horror Witnessed: The iPhone Pictorial Story of Tinks the Cat Spotting His First Coastal Palmetto Bug. | Fetch My Flying Monkeys
Everyone needs a fleet of flying monkeys to rip the stuffing out of the annoying people in their lives
— Laura

I had forgotten until now that I had taken these pictures of Tinks right after I moved in. When I took them I didn’t realize what Tinks saw out the window until after he flew off the bar counter and I turned around. It was a GIANT PALMETTO BUG IN THE DRIVEWAY. I may or may not have screamed and locked the door immediately afterwards.

"La, la la, what a good time for a tongue bath."

 

"Hmm, what's that movement over there?"

 

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! IT'S A PALMETTO BUG!"

 

"I'm outta here."

Fin.

71 Comments
 

71 Responses to The Horror Witnessed: The iPhone Pictorial Story of Tinks the Cat Spotting His First Coastal Palmetto Bug.

  1. Suzanne says:

    I fear for your life. Have you considered installing a safe room (that is, safe from the zombie pallmetto bug room)? I envision a light misting of bug spray as you enter and stocked with gin, circus peanuts, weapons, and multivitamins.

    • Laura says:

      I fear for it too and yes, I have asked I asked the architect for a safe room sealed against insects AND zombies. He just kinda looked at me weird. Like most people do. *Shrug*

  2. Liz says:

    While I hate Wisconsin weather we have two things going for us:
    1. No palmetto bugs.
    2. Cold and snow kill the bugs we do have for several months of the year.

    Did I mention, no palmetto bugs?

    I hope Tinks has recovered!!

  3. A picture is worth a thousand words, but in this case, four pictures just say GTFO :)

  4. jon spencer says:

    Smart cat.

  5. Sheryl says:

    Glad we don’t have these here in MN. If I didn’t die from the shock and horror of seeing one, I’d keel over from the haze of pesticides that would be ever present in my house to keep them at bay!!

  6. Rosie says:

    Cut to Laura buying the largest, most powerful bug-zapper known to man.

  7. Mark12A says:

    Those things are delicacies to Turbo the Wonder Cat.

  8. Nicole says:

    Smart cat!

  9. Jena says:

    Ha! I thought Tinks is a girl?

    • Laura says:

      I did too!! UNTIL the new vet said- no! HAHA! Remember “he” was a stray I saved and I never looked!! Apparently Tinks had been neutered previously. I had “him/her” checked for microchip too!

      • Sheryl says:

        I take it that Tinks has never put his butt in your face. Even neutered, Gazpacho still has “balls” which he likes to show off. Typical male!

  10. Jeffro says:

    That is one smart kitty cat!

  11. Jess says:

    I had to look up “palmetto bug”. It’s what we call a wood roach.

    The worst experience I ever had was one dark night, as I stumbled into the bathroom to take a whiz, a rustling in the closet caught my attention. So when I opened the door, one of those big bastards flew onto my chest.

    I swatted, danced, said “oh shit!” a few times, and damn near killed myself when I stumbled backwards onto my ass.

    I was tempted to hunt the damn thing with a shotgun, but decided it was best to just hide in another room.

  12. Maeve says:

    LOVE the look on her face!!

    • Laura says:

      Palmetto Bugs will do that to almost everyone. These giant ones anyway.

      • Maeve says:

        I’m tempted to google one to see what it looks like, but I’m too scared! LOL!
        We have these big scarab looking things that fly around here and they make me run, screaming like a bitch when I see them in the garden. I’m sure I’ll be killed by one soon since I’m gimped up from knee surgery and can’t move with ninja speed any more.

  13. Yabu says:

    They can get HUGE. When I lived in north Florida, I use to shoot ‘em with a pellet gun from a pretty good distance. That says nothing about my marksmanship, but it does say they’re large enough to hit.

  14. Cheryl Lundgren says:

    Well, I had to look up images of Palmetto bugs on the Internet. They’re just big cockroaches, right? We have those in Vegas. There was about a two-inch long cockroach knocking on the front door the other day. Wonder if we can save the up and deep fry them? What I hate more are the scorpions that live in the date trees.

    I did find this recipe:

    Palmetto Bug
    1 1/2 oz Del Maguey Mezcal Vida
    3/4 oz Drambuie
    1 1/2 oz Grapefruit Juice
    1/2 oz Lime Juice

    Shake with ice and strain into a Collins glass with a salt rim. Fill with ice cubes, top with 1 oz soda water, and add a straw.

    This should definitely soothe your nerves.

    • Laura says:

      Ummm, no. I’d rather drink hot horse piss than to even think of a Palmetto Bug in my belly. I could never be that drunk.

      They are huge, evil, FLYING roaches that are bent on destroying you when they spot you.

  15. CGHill says:

    I lived in SC long enough to remember not to open the moonroof if I could possibly help it, lest one (or more!) of the miserable sumbitches drop onto my head.

  16. kim says:

    Smart cat. That is my exact same reaction: the frozen, huge-eyed, horrified expression of abject fear, the high pitched shriek (I assume Tinks shrieked because that is the only appropriate reaction to seeing one of those freaks of nature), followed by an abrupt about face and rapid retreat (unless you can engage in blunt force trauma or chemical warfare.. I have yet to attempt flame throwing but I assume that would work well here too).

  17. Princess says:

    Poor Baby, atleast he has a lot of new and exciting places TO HIDE!!!!. OMG cant you SC people do somthing nuclear to get rid of those frickin flying roaches ??? DONT LET THEM MATE !!!! Jesus, do something……

    • Laura says:

      They live through nuclear warfare. THAT’S one of the scariest facts. I believe these are mutated descendants from Hiroshima or Nagasaki or 3-Mile Island.

  18. Snoop. says:

    You folks sure do have some wierd things in the south…. wierd…. Ill stay up here with the snow…thanks….

  19. Jena says:

    That look on Tinks face says “Not even the children were spared”

    http://cheezburger.com/1284432640

  20. Holiday says:

    I have never seen a cat with such fabulous expressions… beautiful kitty there….

  21. OneCrazedChick says:

    Can you imagine what Tinks reaction would have been if that monster had flown towards the window?

  22. Shannon says:

    One thing that really works to keep them from flying is spraying them with hairspray – especially effective if you catch them in mid-flight! Once they were no longer airborne, my cats attacked them with glee. (While I cowered in a corner and squealed.)

  23. xul says:

    You haven’t experienced *true* fear until you have experienced a palmetto bug SWARM!

  24. SB Smith says:

    The way you first worded that, I thought Tinks had jumped off the counter to Go After The Monster Roach !…Hmm, a flame thrower would be fun ‘cept for the torched house.
    Hairspray – now if the hair spray stiffened as quickly as my Industrial Spectracide spray kills wasps (within 5 to 10 seconds), that would be fun to watch the palmetto bugs crash and burn.
    The wasps die while still hanging on the screen on my porch. Or they died still on their nest, as I’ve drenched the nest.

    Oh my God…a palmetto bug Swarm ?
    Just shoot me.
    That sounds Absolutely. Terrifying.

    • Laura says:

      If a swarm of Palmetto Bugs were to attack and catch me, I would probably go into a catatonic state.

      • xul says:

        YES! A SWARM! It happened when I was a little kid at my grandmother’s house. My sister heard a noise at the bedroom window and when she lifted the shade to see what was there, the whole damn window was covered in palmetto bugs on the outside. My sister is *deathly* afraid of those bastards and I thought she was going to have a mental breakdown right then and there.

        I have many more Southern Tales of Terror involving palmettos. ;)

        • Laura says:

          Do you visit your sister at the asylum often? That’s where I’d be if I saw that shit.

          I hate those nasty sonsabitches so much.

  25. PolishSpring says:

    Poor traumatized palmetto victim! Both of you!
    ;-)
    Here’s something to make it all better, goats and a hot Misha.
    http://twitpic.com/cz562k

    with regards,
    PolishSpring

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>